


High Speed, Low Drag

by Raiven_Raine



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Bisexual Character, Blow Jobs, Camaraderie, Character Development, Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Male Slash, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Pansexual Character, Romance, Slash, Slow Build, Slow-ish burn, friends to lovers to friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:06:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raiven_Raine/pseuds/Raiven_Raine
Summary: Gavin is new to the Brotherhood of Steel, but it feels just like home to him.But he still has some hang-ups about his past life in the War and his past lover -- Long gone.He starts to flirt around and finds himself addicted to a man who has a few hang-ups of his own.Gavin doesn't want to screw up the friendship between them... But he really wants Tristan Crewe in the worst way.Is it meant to be? Or is it meant to be... With someone else?And can he maintain the friendship through it all?- - - - - - - - - -This is somewhat of a little backstory in my own headspace fic universe that shows Gavin's time when he first got with the BoS. The friendships he formed with people like Lucky and a little fling he had with Crewe.  This also explores relationships that are standard in all my other fics and how they came to be. For any of you following from those other fics, enjoy the special backstory! For new readers... Enjoy the story!- - - - - - - - - -





	1. Just Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> I want to give everyone a warning right now... This relationship doesn't work out for some reasons... But that doesn't make it all bad and it does come to a very happy conclusion. 
> 
> Still with me?
> 
> Great! You'll love this.  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - - - 
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

The food was the same, still shit. The beds were the same, still only a scant better than sleeping on hard rocks. His boots felt the same... Comfortable. The soldiers were still soldiers, even though all the faces and the era were different.

Gavin sat on his new bunk staring at an old pre-war dog tag in his hands. He wished his old friends were there with him. They’d had some good times. They’d also shared a lot of heartache, tears, and grief. But they had endured it together, as brothers. Gav had learned a lot about life and himself in the War, but he still felt a little out of place sometimes and now, more than ever, he felt very alone. 

Everyone he knew was dead and gone. His lover, his family and friends, his wife, simple acquaintances he had taken for granted… His entire life as he knew it was long gone.

He needed friends. Family. Love. 

He put the tag around his neck and held it in his fist alongside the Brotherhood issued holotags. There was probably some rule that said he couldn’t wear it, because if it was one thing that survived in the military after a nuclear apocalypse, it was arbitrary rules. But he didn’t really care too much. Who was he trying to impress? 

_\--He needed family.--_

Gavin glanced around the deck at all the faces he didn’t really know very well. They were all looking at him. Some more discreetly than others. He’d been on the Prydwen for a couple weeks now, but he was still the newest most interesting thing the soldiers had seen in some time. It would take a while before his shine would fade. And, if all eyes were going to be on him watching every move he made, who was he going to present himself as?

The reset button on his life had been pressed. 

He heard loud laughter from somewhere below and he smiled. 

So far, Gavin had gone out of his way to introduce himself to everyone he could find and he worked diligently to remember everyone’s names; Something he had taken to in the War which he felt was important. After all, nobody should die in obscurity. 

One of the first people he had met, because she was the one who retrieved Danse’s team from Cambridge, was Lancer Lucci… Or, Lucky, as she was called.

He liked her immediately. 

When she laughed, she laughed with her whole heart. 

Gav stood from his bed and made his way down to the break room, making sure to smile and say hello to everyone along the way. 

Who was he going to present himself as?

Like him or hate him, Gavin would always be himself.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - -**

He stood back from the table for a moment when he entered the breakroom. There were some new faces he hadn’t seen before, which was to be expected since soldiers come and go so frequently. Lucci was sitting at the card table next to one of them, laughing loudly and sharing a bottle of something. Her friend Aleski, smiling and shuffling idly through a large stack of cards, sat on the other side of the new face. _Cute new face._

Gav shrugged to himself, smiled and approached the table. “Hey, guys.” He gave the two women he knew a nod.

“Kidd!” Lucky pointed at the new man beside her, “this is Crewe. He just got back and you got here at just the right time.”

“Hey,” Gav put a hand up in a quick greeting before pulling a chair out to sit across from him.

The man cocked his chin and smiled in reply, then tilted his head and openly looked Gavin up and down in curiosity. 

His light blonde hair was long and shaggy, nearly in his eyes. His face had a scruffy growth on it and Gav was still trying to get used to the idea that people in the Brotherhood seemed to be able to wear their hair however they liked. That was cool. Unless you were an initiate or recruit, that is. They were all shaved bald. Gavin was thankful Maxson let him skip that rank altogether. He never did look very good bald, it made the scar over his eye that much more noticeable.

“So… What am I just in time for?” Gav lounged back in the chair, forcing himself to relax even though Crewe was still silently contemplating him. He was no stranger to being stared at.

“You know how to play Spades?” Lucky pointed to the overly large stack of cards Aleski was shuffling through.

“Sure,” Gavin shrugged. He had played Spades exactly three times in his life. Years ago. And he sucked at it.

Aleski smiled as she handed him the bottle they had been drinking from, “great… You can be Tristan’s partner.”

Crewe raised an eyebrow at her, “he doesn’t know how to play.” He flashed a grin at Gavin, “do you?”

Gav hesitated in taking a drink and eyed him. “I’ve played before.”

“Perfect!” Lucky giggled, “kicking your asses will be easier if you have a handicap.”

“I’ve played before,” Gavin said again. _How did that man know?_

He reached out across the table and made a motion with his fingers for Gavin to hand him the bottle. “S’ok, Kidd. I got you.” Crewe sat back in his chair with the whiskey and a cocky grin so big it showed off dimples. “I can carry anyone.”

“Even if I gave you a twenty-gallon bucket, you couldn’t carry shit.” Lucky took the bottle from him. “Put up some caps if you’re so confident.”

“I distinctly remember carrying your ass at one time…” Crewe smirked at her as he got caps out, “good thing you’ve never really weighed too much and would easily fit in a twenty-gallon bucket.”

Lucky wrinkled her nose at him as she dumped a handful of caps out on the table, “whatever, just put up and shut up.”

Gavin stuck a hand in his pocket. He had about ten caps and some pocket lint. 

“Short?” Crewe shrugged, “we’ll just take theirs.”

Aleski smirked at him, “you can try.”

“No such thing as _‘try’_...” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes with a little grin. 

Gavin smiled at him. Crewe reminded him of an old friend and, somehow, this young skinny blond man at the table felt familiar. Sitting there with them felt like home. Gavin didn’t feel so alone and out of place in that moment. Felt like… He’d always been here.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - 

****

  
  
As it would turn out, Gavin’s rack was next to Crewe’s. It was relieving to be placed next to someone he somewhat new and got along with. Crewe was cool. Very cool. Through little bits of conversation with him since the man returned from recon, Gavin learned that he had joined the Brotherhood when he was fourteen. 

Gavin might have been shocked by that if he hadn’t weaseled his way into the war at sixteen, himself, and had a good friend who found his own way in at fourteen. Sure, it was illegal to lie about your age like that back then, but they couldn’t give two shits so long as the human fodder was able to hold a rifle and knew enough to point the correct end at the Reds. 

The younger squires on the Prydwen were only slightly alarming at first. However, living with his fourteen-year-old friend for years before ever even knowing his age at the time had given him an interesting perspective on the whole age deal. 

Knight Crewe, much like Lancer Lucci, had been in the Brotherhood for a good portion of his life and knew exactly how everything worked. He knew what he could get away with and exactly how many of Elder Maxson’s buttons he could press before he got in trouble. He knew how to tactically avoid Lancer Captain Kells. He knew how to slack off just enough to be comfortable, yet still get shit done when it mattered. 

_He seemed like just the person Gav needed to know here in this new place._

The man was very standoffish when it came to personal details about himself, however, and that only served to pique Gavin’s interest. He’d never press the issue. After all, he was grateful that nobody ever questioned him about the scar on his face so he was always laid back about prying into their lives. Didn’t mean he was any less curious. 

He watched Crewe out of the corner of his eye as the man sat down and wrapped another ball chain around his wrist. He wore about five of them now. Gavin looked down at the the third ball chain around his own neck which held Nora’s wedding band. He wondered if he should put it around his wrist. He glanced over at Crewe again then took the chain off his neck, broke off the end to shorten it, then secured it around his left wrist.

When he looked up again, Crewe was grinning at him over the top of a comic book. 

“Seemed like a good idea,” Gav shrugged.

“Yeah, because it is… Probably.” 

There wasn’t anything on the man’s chains. Gavin wondered if he was using them to count something. Something significant, perhaps? 

Crewe held his comic up, “you like Grognak?”

“Hell yes.” Gav pointed, “Cometh the Trickster, right?” He suddenly realized his knowledge of exactly which comic that was showed that he had been staring at the man. He tried to play it cool and shrugged, “I saw it on your bunk earlier.”

“This one’s my favorite. I have a shit ton.” He motioned to his footlocker, “you can borrow them if you want.”

“Cool. Thanks!” Gavin worked to ease back the huge grin on his face. He couldn’t help it. He loved comics and had lost most of his collection when the bombs fell. He briefly wondered how much they’d be worth if the world was still intact. Probably an assload. However much an assload was. 

It was great to fall in with someone who was the same type of nerd as he was. 

_Dial it back a bit… Calm down. Do not start rambling on about how issue #2 is also your favorite and start comparing headcanons with this man… You’ll scare him._

Gavin wanted to talk to him, but wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t like him to be at a loss for words around other people, but this guy was different somehow. He realized he was staring at Crewe. Gav blinked and turned away, purposefully swinging his legs off the opposite side of the bunk to get up and leave. 

_Leave before you say something dumb._

The Knight didn’t even glance up from his comic as Gavin walked off the deck.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin was only listening with the barest level of interest as Danse laid out their itinerary. For the third time in the last two hours. The first time, he paid attention. The second time, he had managed to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Third time? Gavin’s attention span faltered and started to run amok.

In his time, Gav had all manner of superiors. Some of them were strict and humorless, some were bigger slackers than he himself was and didn’t really care what went on so long as everyone passed inspection and shit looked like it was running smoothly. A couple were more like Danse, but none were _exactly_ like the Paladin. 

Danse was strict, but forgiving. He had a lot of patience with everyone. He followed rules and regs, but he could also be persuaded, at times, to color a little outside the lines when necessary. And that’s why Gavin was standing here now. As his sponsor into the Brotherhood, Danse had made an exception for him. A few exceptions, it seemed. Gav wondered how many exceptions he could push his luck with. 

He liked Danse. Gavin wasn’t sure when it happened, because their first meeting had left Gav a little irritated at how strict and robotic the Paladin had come across to him… But somewhere in his time spent with the man at Cambridge, Gavin discovered Danse was very passionate, caring, and kind. Plus, Gav once said something flirtatious to him and the man blushed and walked away. That right there perked up Gavin’s excitement exponentially and made him want to play chase. 

Gavin could never resist a good game of chase and a bright shiny ball had been tossed.

So, as of this moment, he stared at the Paladin blankly as he contemplated exceptions he could persuade Danse to make for him while the man lined the Knights out. 

Gav’s vivid daydream involving a certain Paladin was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of Crewe and an Officer approaching Danse. He was heeling behind the Star Paladin and looking like he’d been recently lit up for something or other. Though he looked chastised, Crewe still glared or rolled his eyes every so often when superiors weren’t looking at him. 

That made Gavin smile for some reason, childish as it was. 

SP Harren handed Danse a long paper then motioned to Crewe standing slightly behind, “Kells ordered a squad change from Jefferson to you…” He glanced over his shoulder at the Knight.

Crewe looked away from them and sighed visibly. He did manage to keep from rolling his eyes that time, however. 

The Paladin looked the paper over briefly then took a pen from the man and signed his name. Danse spoke to Harren while looking at Crewe with an unreadable expression, “I suggested this Knight be placed in my squad the last two times.” 

“Yeah, I know. I agreed both times.” Harren took Crewe by the upper arm like an unruly child and pulled him forward, closer to the Paladin. “If anyone can get him to act right, it’ll be you.”

Danse crossed his arms and looked down at Crewe, completely filling the part of disapproving father figure. “What did you do this time, Knight?”

Crewe shrugged, “I made a new rank… And if you ask me, it was much needed and a long time coming.”

Danse narrowed his eyes and Harren spoke up, “he defaced Jefferson’s PA.” He hit Crewe on the shoulder roughly with the back of his hand and lowered his voice, “he painted dicks over the Paladin’s ranks.”

The look of shock lasted only a second before they were both glaring at Crewe in disappointed silence. 

Gavin stared incredulously. If anyone would have done something like that in the War, they’d have been shot. Of course, people were more expendable back then. Crewe got away with a lot more than Gav could even imagine. 

“What?” Crewe shrugged again, “there needs to be a dick rank. Jefferson is definitely head dick… Or a dickhead. Whichever--”

“Knight!” Danse cut him off sharply and made everyone jump.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin leaned into the wire bristle pad for a few extra hard scrubs then stood and shook out his sore arms. Power Armor was a lot of upkeep.

He grinned as he stepped back and watched Danse look over his perfect rust scraping job. Was he trying to impress the Paladin? Maybe. One time, out at Cambridge, Danse complimented him and it made him grin like an idiot for the rest of the day. 

Gavin suspected that the Paladin didn’t smile very often, but when he did, that man’s smile lit the room. He was painfully strict, it seemed. Gavin wondered what the man did for fun. Or if he even knew what fun was. 

Gav quietly snickered to himself as he imagined what fucking Danse would be like. He probably went by some manual and everything was laid out and had to follow a strict step by step procedure. Rubber gloves and all. 

Danse turned to him, handed over a paint brush and stencil, and he made a face, which didn’t help Gav’s outburst of chortling. 

“Is there a problem, Knight?”

Gavin swallowed it down and shook his head as he took the paint, “no, Sir. I was just…” His eyes fell to the faded rank marks on the arm plate of the PA, “thinking of something.”

The Paladin crossed his arms and shifted his weight as he looked down at him. “Do not get any bright ideas. Defacing armor is disrespectful and childish. I expect my sponsee to act with more decorum.”

He nodded in agreement as he stuck the stencil to the old worn out rank mark. “Do people get kicked out of the Brotherhood?” He asked as he painted. 

Danse was quiet for a moment then leaned back against the edge of a table. “Not in many years now. Soldiers are given every opportunity to excel here. Some may be headstrong, but they all fall in line eventually and stay there.”

“I suppose it doesn’t hurt that the alternative is being out on your own in the wasteland.” 

Danse nodded and his attention trailed off to the side. Gavin followed his gaze and saw Crewe and a group of soldiers up above the armor bay ‘tightrope’ walking along the top railing of the catwalks. One of the soldiers fell inwardly onto the top floor and they laughed as Crewe remained on the rail. They must have been having some sort of contest. Gavin wanted to go play with Crewe. He was much more fun than hanging out with Danse and cleaning things.

“Stay away from him, Kidd,” the Paladin’s deep voice broke him out of his stupid staring. 

“Huh? I’m not…”

“Tristan Crewe is nothing but trouble. If you want to find out how to get kicked out of the Brotherhood, that’s the lesson he’ll teach you.”

Gavin eyed the soldiers above again until they left. “Why’s he like that? Is he trying to get kicked out?”

Danse sighed, “he’s a good soldier. Kells took a special interest in him when he was a teen. He said _‘it takes all kinds of people to make the Brotherhood, especially those from different lives who think outside the box’._ And he was not wrong.” 

He leaned forward from the table and put a hand on Gavin’s shoulder, “you have so much potential and so much to teach us all, I’d hate to see you fall in with the wrong crowd… He’ll hurt you.”

Gav’s lips slowly turned into a little grin, “maybe I like a little pain.” He used one hand to pantomime a nipple twist in the air between them. 

He must have given off quite an air of desire because the Paladin actually caught it this time. His hand tightened on Gav’s shoulder for a moment then he pulled away and stammered, “that’s… That’s not the pain I was speaking of… Knight.” His face reddened only slightly as he turned away to busy himself with cleaning up an already clean workstation… Across the bay. 

Gavin quietly chuckled to himself as he went back to painting.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - 

****

Knight Sergeant Gavil stepped up and crossed his arms.

“Sir,” Gavin smiled brightly.

“What are you doing, Kidd?” The man cocked an eyebrow.

Gav glanced around the storeroom then shrugged, “learning my way around.”

“You’ve been _‘learning your way around’_ Knight Lucia for a solid hour. I believe you are quite familiar with her topography by now.”

Lucia blushed and looked away. 

Gavin grinned. 

The Knight Sergeant held a paper out toward him, “you could use some fresh air.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Gav said quietly as he took the paper and looked it over. Paladin Danse had given him the past 48 to go around the Prydwen and airport to help anyone who needed anything. Anything from emptying latrines to serving up meals. 

What he did most often, other than cleaning things which were already clean, was play gopher. “Explosives… Where do I--”

“You’ve been down here half the day _‘learning your way around’_...” Gavil pat him on the shoulder, “surely you know where to go by now.” He flashed a smile then turned on his heel and left. 

So he got caught. He had started out learning his way around the storage area, but the people interested him even more. His interest grew when he noticed a couple of them had open sorts of relationships with one another. That was cool. They were never allowed to do that in the War. Gav discovered that soldiers could have relations among similar ranks, so long as it didn’t get in the way of operations. That’s when he started openly flirting with people, mostly the women, and ended up hanging around Knight Lucia for the better part of the morning. 

“Out back,” Lucia broke his thoughts.

“Out back?” He blinked stupidly at her for a moment.

“Yeah,” she giggled lightly and pointed, “explosive ordnance. Outside the back of the airport. They mess with that stuff outside.”

He nodded, “right. Of course. Out back.” He took a couple steps backward from her and she watched him with a sweet smile until he winked at her and turned away, feeling triumphant that he had left her with a light blush on her face.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - -**

Gavin rounded a stack of sand-filled barrels and paused.

Crewe was sitting cross-legged on a large table next to a chem station casually rolling up a tight cylinder of newspaper and foil. Gav watched him for a moment as he worked. 

When he first arrived at, what they called, the Cat Box, he had been nervous. Gavin’s list of ways to die did not include exploding. 

Then he saw Crewe sitting there under the canopy and everything else vanished. 

All the people practicing disarming mines and building IEDs, all the crates of explosives surrounding the area, all the tables cluttered with munitions under the canopies… All gone. 

Gavin took a moment to wipe the stupid grin off his face and approached the table. 

“Hey.”

Crewe didn’t look up from measuring out some powder as he gave a very slight cock of his chin, “s’up?”

“I need some…” He looked down at the paper he had failed to actually read prior, “vertibird signals.” He made a face at the paper. Not very exciting. 

“Birdseed,” The man glanced up from his work and grinned.

Gav snorted a quiet chuckle -- that was a clever term. “Who do I go to for that?”

“You’re looking at him.” 

“Oh, good, that makes things easy.” Gavin held the paper out toward him.

Crewe wiped his hands on his pants and gave a little smirk as he took it, “you saying I’m easy?” 

“I wouldn’t know,” he shrugged and tried to give a coy grin, but instead, his eyes dropped away from the man’s face down to the table. Crewe had a very intense green-eyed gaze and, for some stupid reason, Gav couldn’t look him in the eye very easily.

He had spent the better part of the morning flirting with half of the Brotherhood and suddenly Gavin was struck dumb by this one man.

Crewe searched the mess of stuff scattered on the table until he found a pen and scribbled his name on the paper. He pointed to a small crate off to the side as he handed the paper back.

“Cool, thanks.” Gav made to take the paper and Crewe held onto it tightly for a moment until Gavin looked up at him.

“You ever need anything, let me know. I’ll give you the good stuff, no paperwork required.” He smiled, showing off his dimples.

Gav blinked at him for a minute then smiled and nodded. Then immediately berated himself for that missed opportunity for a flirtatious innuendo. 

But did he want to flirt with Crewe openly? What would he think about that? Flirting with women was, by far, much more simple than trying to flirt with men. Some men were more clear about it than others and Tristan… Gavin couldn’t tell. Another thing about flirting with men... Gavin had learned pre-war that many of them didn’t take too kindly to that sort of thing.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	2. Better Bonding Through Booze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had dawned on Gavin halfway through the shitshow that they were all going to be in an entire fuckmountain of trouble. _And what would Danse have to say about this?_ He’d warned Gavin to stay away from Crewe. He started laughing again. _Hysteria?_  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin had taken to playing cards in the breakroom nearly every night if he was on the Pryd. Lucky was always there along with Aleski and a cool Knight named Jonathan Bailey. Most times, Crewe would make an appearance. And when Tristan appeared, Gavin could never hold back a smile.

“Check this out!” Crewe approached the table and plopped a wooden keg down on top of the cards in the center. 

Aleski sighed loudly at him and glared. She must have been winning the hand. Gavin laid his shit cards down and was silently thankful for the interruption. He had been losing his caps, which Crewe did end up helping him win, to Lucky. She was a great poker player. 

Lucky mustered up a great deal of sarcasm and pressed a finger against the small barrel, “wow... You found some alcohol…” 

Crewe’s grin only grew wider as he pried the top off and pointed.

“It smells like ass!” Lucky wrinkled her nose as she peered inside. “Wait…” She furrowed her brow, “what’s in it?”

Bailey hooked a finger in the top of the barrel and moved it closer to himself to look inside. He made a face at the smell and pushed it away, “is it turpentine? Thought you learned that lesson… Twice.” Bailey raised an eyebrow at him.

Crewe ignored the chiding remark and didn’t even hesitate before reaching a hand in and fishing out a double fist sized black object. He held it up for a moment with a goofy ass triumphant grin on his face as though he had found and smuggled away the holy grail in a cask full of turpentine ass juice. 

Aleski reached out and poked the thing in his hand. “What the fuck? It’s a rad scorpion stinger…”

“Part of it,” Crewe shrugged and stuffed it back in the barrel. “The good parts, anyway.” He pounded the lid back on with a fist then stroked the wood almost lovingly as they all stared at him as though he had lost his fucking mind. 

Lucky pointed at herself, “are we… Going to _drink_ that shit?”

Gavin looked at her, then to Crewe. In his time, Gav had eaten some very strange iffy things and drank stuff that he never even questioned the contents of. He had never seen a rad scorpion before, but he had learned all about them from a very enthusiastic squire who rambled on and on about the dangerous things in the wastes. 

He eyed the barrel. 

Bailey leaned back in his seat and nodded to the keg, “where’d you get that shit?”

“Found it,” Crewe gave an impish little grin that clearly stated he wasn’t going to tell. 

Lucky was seriously contemplating the liquid. “I don’t think--”

“Scared?” He arched an eyebrow at her in challenge. “It’s okay, I’ll get you a ba-ba of milk.”

“I’ll shove it so far up your ass you’ll be tasting rubber nipple for a month… I’m not scared of anything.” Lucky pulled the barrel toward herself and glared at him.

“That’s the spirit!” Crewe cuffed her on the shoulder, “let’s tap this shit!”

Gav couldn’t help but let out a little snort of laughter. She was easy to persuade. He would never fall so easily to goading like that…

Then he placed a hand on Gavin’s shoulder and leaned closer. He cocked his head and smiled as he looked Gav up and down. “You in, stud?” 

“Let’s do it.” The words left his mouth before he could stop them. He stared stupidly at Crewe until the man pushed himself away, gathered up the cask, and walked off the deck. 

Lucky nearly jumped up from her seat as she followed him with Gavin close behind. Aleski sighed again and trailed slowly after.

“Guess I have to go babysit you kids and make sure you don’t do anything stupid... Or die,” Bailey said as he followed behind the group.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - -**

Lucky had brought them down to the airport proper where they sat on crates in a dimly lit back room. Bailey and Gavin engineered a spout for the thing, but they had nothing to properly drink from. Crewe said ‘fuck it’ and picked up the entire barrel and drank straight from the little spout before anyone could stop him.

Not to be outdone, Lucky followed suit immediately. 

She coughed and made a face as she handed the keg over to Gavin.

Aleski laughed, “what’s it taste like?”

“Delightful,” Lucky wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, “hints of milk and sugar… And the inside of an old boot full of coolant… With a nice oak finish.” She smirked. 

Gavin didn’t hesitate long. Crewe had told them it was made with rad-away and was most likely moonshine. Probably. 

_Bottoms up! What’s the worst that could happen?_

“That’s not ‘shine…” Gav smacked his lips and tried to work the taste from his mouth, “but the old boot coolant was accurate…” He cleared his throat to keep from falling into a coughing fit. It burned. The liquid was somewhat thick and heavy and there was a lot of sugar or something. The aftertaste wasn’t too horrible. It tasted like bad tequila. He handed it over to Aleski and forced a little smile.

Al hesitated, holding it half up to her face. Crewe put a hand on the bottom of the keg and pushed it up toward her so she had no choice but to drink it or let it spill down her chest. She got a mouthful, spilled some over her chin and shirt, then shoved it at Bailey as she glared at Crewe and coughed. 

Crewe laughed and put an arm around Aleski and she immediately brushed it off and gave him a long look until he turned his attention to Gav. 

“Good shit, right?”

“Shit, yeah…” Gavin snorted. 

Bailey took an experimental sip. As much of a sip as the spout would allow, anyway. A ‘sip’ directly from the open spout of a cask turned out to be a nice big mouthful as the chunk of stinger inside shifted. Crewe took the keg as Bailey wiped the excess mess off his chin and neck. Crewe smiled at him as the man simply licked his lips a few times and made a face.

“Big dog.” Crewe winked at him then took another drink. 

Gav watched Tristan interacting with everyone very carefully. He was still trying to figure out if he should flirt with the man or not. It seemed like he had something going on with Aleski, but the way she acted toward him made everything unclear. Tristan was sort of flirty with everyone and Gavin could never tell if it was genuine or not. 

And the more Gav drank of the shit _‘Scorpion Wine’,_ the more he wondered about things.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - -**

They ended up clad in PA, out in the sandbox at zero stupid thirty, looking for… Gavin didn’t know what. Didn’t matter. The entire moonlit world was slowly spinning, sliding to the side. Tilting… Colors were strange, even behind the green tint of the helmet’s HUD. The green was… So green. Yellow green.

Every now and then, Gavin would remove the helm and just stare at the tilting landscape as it slid off to the side. Colors were so bright and vivid. Everything looked soft and fuzzy. He laughed at a car for a solid ten minutes with Crewe laughing right beside him, not even knowing why he was laughing. Bailey had to pull them both away. 

As they walked down a busted up road, Crewe shouldered into Gav lightly and laughed, “imagine a PA boxing match…” 

“I’d kick your ass.” Lucky stomped up behind him and shoved him forward into a small tree, which was knocked down and smashed under the weight of Crewe’s armor. 

Aleski giggled as he straightened back up. “When was the last time you even wore a suit, Jessy?” 

“Just now,” she snorted. 

Crewe suddenly punched her in the side of the helmet and she fell a little to the side. Al caught her and Lucky immediately retaliated and hit him in the face with the back of her fist. 

“Oh shit!” Jessy paused as he caught her other fist mid-swing. She suddenly laughed, then Crewe laughed. 

Bailey didn’t laugh. Not at first. “Ingram is going to kill us.” 

Crewe took his helmet off and stared at the busted eyepiece, “not if Kells gets us first.” He grinned at Jessy, “wager?”

“Kells knows everything,” she shrugged, “I wouldn’t bet against him.” 

“I need to piss.” Aleski waved a hand at them and turned to walk away. 

Gavin held up his rifle, “I’ll escort you.” He walked past Crewe and the man narrowed his eyes after the two of them for a moment before continuing his bet haggling with Lucky and Bailey. 

_Or did Gav imagine that look?_

Damn that man was gorgeous. Drunk, angry, happy, being an ass… Crewe was always easy on the eyes. He should flirt with him. _He could always blame it on the alcohol…_

He turned away from Al as she stepped out of her armor and he tried to hold onto spinning thoughts. _What to say to Tristan?_ Tell him he has pretty eyes. No, that’s stupid and he’d probably heard it a million times. _God, his eyes were so beautiful._ Jade. Like the grass. Soft grass. Gavin wanted to lay naked in the grass. 

“Are you and Crewe together?” He spoke, but it didn’t feel like his words. Did he really just say that?

Al snorted from her crouching position behind a small rock, “pft… Fuck no. Tristan’s an asshole.”

Gavin half turned toward her, a little confused.

“We used to be… But, like I said, he’s an asshole.”

“But you like him?” 

“Yeah, I do.” She stood up, “doesn’t mean he’s any less of an ass.”

Gavin watched her climb back into her suit. After a moment he cleared his throat, “so… Is he--”

“Takin’ a shit over there?” Crewe yelled from the road, “hurry the fuck up, we’re going shopping!”  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - -**

There were ferals in the department store.

 _Were._

“Stand off!” Crewe giggled as he lit up an explosive and chucked it into the store. 

Everyone bolted and took cover behind the walls as the ferals inside were turned into kibble. It was a mess. 

He laughed loudly and lit another. 

They cleared the department store in a sloppy soup sandwich of small explosions and inaccurate laser fire, Jess and Crewe betting on everything they could the entire time. Who could kill the most ferals. Who could kill the most mannequins. Many mannequins died that night. 

It had dawned on Gavin halfway through the shitshow that they were all going to be in an entire fuckmountain of trouble. _And what would Danse have to say about this?_ He’d warned Gavin to stay away from Crewe. He started laughing again. _Hysteria?_

He took his helmet off to look at the pretty colors in the store. Gavin watched Crewe step out of his armor, so he followed suit. He wanted to touch everything. All the soft spinning colors. He missed colors like these. The wasteland was dull. He had come from a world of bright colors. Bright clothes. Music. Dancing. 

Gavin reached out and started petting a bright blue dress. Unnaturally bright. It seemed to glow. It was so soft. 

“That’d look great on you. Bring out the blue in your eyes.” Crewe nudged him with his shoulder. 

Gav snorted and turned to him then paused and stared, mouth half open. 

He was wearing a fluffy fur boa, a big sun hat with a white bow, and overly large sunglasses. It was fucking ridiculous. Why did he look good wearing that shit? _Because he could wear a potato sack and look great._ His bright personality would shine through anything.

Gavin reached out and started petting the fur over the man’s shoulder. He stopped himself from reaching up and touching Tristan’s hair sticking out from under the sunhat. His blond hair always looked incredibly soft and it took Gav a good amount of mental stamina to keep from touching it. Touching _him._

 _Tell him he has pretty… Everything._

No words would come. Gav just stood there petting the soft fur and grinning like an idiot. 

“I was hoping for candy…” Crewe shrugged, “but this is cool, too.”

“What kind of candy?” Gav’s mouth moved. Words came out. Not the ones he wanted.

“Anything’s good.” He took his sunglasses off and glanced around, “hard sweet candy's best. Suckers are hard to find, but sometimes traders-- Oh shit!”

Crewe suddenly bolted away and Gavin raised his rifle and followed him.

He picked up a silver bracelet with a name etched into it and held it up to show Gav, then pulled it to his chest and hugged it before pocketing the thing.

Gavin lowered his weapon and furrowed his brow at the man.

He took a breath and patted his pocket, “any time I find something with my sister’s name on it…” He shrugged and lowered his voice, “she died. This is how I remember her.” Crewe started petting the fur around his neck. Whether it was out of nervousness or just because whatever the fuck they drank made the entire world super soft was hard to say.

Gav’s like for the man grew exponentially. He had lost a sister, too. And this was some little hidden bit of Tristan that he shared which made Gavin’s heart swell. Real feelings. Something from his past. A little thing Gav suspected he didn’t tell many people. 

Crewe walked away and Gavin stared after him. That was a really cool way to remember his sister… Gav looked at the remaining bracelets. None of them had his sister’s name on them.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin wasn’t sure how it started, but they ended up destroying half the building with more of Crewe’s explosives. Something caught on fire at one point and a quarter of the top floor burned before they put it out... Laughing like fucking lunatics the entire time.

And they laughed the entire way back to the airport at Crewe in his armor. He had tied the sun hat to the top of the helmet and draped the fur around its shoulders. It looked ridiculous. It was awesome. 

Bailey found a technical document and Aleski recovered some meds. Crewe joked that should make everything better… And they laughed some more. 

The laughter came to an abrupt end when they made it back to the Pryd and Kells was standing on the flight deck. 

Lucky leaned close to Bailey and whispered, “told ya… You owe me caps.”

He whispered back to her, “caps are no good to a dead woman…”  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - 

****

Kells had a wicked sense of humor, as it would turn out. Gavin had met a couple Drill Sergeants somewhat like him in the past… But nobody could ever compare to the Lancer Captain.

Crewe had told the man that getting drunk and stupid was all part of a very important bonding process. Kells actually agreed. And then the Lancer Captain gave them all some more opportunity for bonding. 

From the moment they got back from their misadventure to nearly forty-eight hours later, they had been charged with a myriad of strange pointless punishments. 

He had made them run. A lot. He told them that if they want to sneak out of the airport and run amok, they should learn to be prepared. So they had to run in full gear with eighty-pound packs. 

He made them haul water in a daisy chain to enhance upon their cooperation skills. They were all blindfolded for that one. It went about as well as could be expected… At first. Gavin had been amazed at how well they ended up cooperating on that one. He wondered if it impressed Kells at all. Probably not. It didn’t seem like that man could be impressed by anything. 

Currently, they were all on the beach, wearing sundresses and big floppy hats, building a sandcastle together. 

Surprisingly, the one who was the most upset about their ‘gear’ was Lucky, but Gavin had received a blue dress and, he had to admit, it did look good on him. He wondered if Tristan had been entirely joking in the department store. 

Kells pointed down at the sandcastle in front of the group, “you call that a fucking castle? It looks like a blind one-armed deathclaw decided to go into construction and build a monument to molerat shit!” He kicked the side of the thing and it crumbled. Yet again. For about the fifth time. 

They tried to suppress groans. The group was exhausted. What was worse was that Paladin Danse had been watching most of their morning. He stood off to the side silently with his arms crossed, looking as disappointed as a man could possibly look. 

Gavin sighed to himself and picked up his spoon to start building the castle again. 

_Why did he willingly come back to this life?_

He glanced over to Crewe and Lucky forming crude little inappropriate body parts in the sand with their spoons and he smiled as he reached over to add to what they had made. 

Lucky giggled lightly and Aleski whispered, “looks just like Tristan’s dick.” She smirked, “same size and all.”

Crewe shook his head, “mine’s way smaller,” and he adjusted the sand-cock accordingly.

Bailey looked away and tried his damnedest to ignore them… But failed and ended up laughing a little too hard.

Kells crossed his arms and glared at them from a little ways off, “congratulations, you prepubescent little glue sniffers… Now you’re building dicks. I want to see the biggest, veiniest, most erect fucking cocks you can muster.” 

They tried to suppress childish giggles as they started building sand-dicks. 

_Why did Gavin willingly come back to this life?_

Because where else could he form lasting bonds with people he would call family while being forced to build giant dicks out of sand?  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	3. Wingman 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucky pointed after Danse, “how come you can do that with him but not TC?”
> 
> Gav shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s fun to make Danse blush. Tristan is… Difficult to read… And I don’t think he even knows how to blush.”
> 
> Bailey nodded, “probably true. I don’t think he’s capable. He’s usually the one making other people blush.” He started sorting some more cards out and glanced at Gavin, “but you could make him smile pretty easily.” He looked over to Lucky sitting on her haunches not doing a damn thing to help clean, “you just going to sit there like a fucking lump or help out?”
> 
> “Umm… Actually,” Lucky stood up and dusted her clean pants off mockingly, “I would love to stay and help you boys clean, but I have to go wingman. Speaking of helping out.” She pointed to the stairs, grinned, then practically skipped away.  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Aleski and Gavin stood on the armor deck staring at his issued suit.

“You have to think of a good name for it,” she patted the chest plate on the PA and smiled at Gav.

He snorted, “I don’t plan on wearing it much if I can help it.”

She arched an eyebrow, “why not? It’s tactically--”

“Advantageous… So I hear,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s also slow, restricting, hot, a cumbersome walking target for--”

“It’s like a personal tank suit,” she planted a hand on her hip and motioned to it, “how can you not like it?”

Gavin paused. He had a friend in the war tell him the exact same thing. He snorted to himself and smiled as he remembered Aedan and his enthusiasm about the PA back then. 

Then Gav frowned as he remembered that it had been Sebastian who had told him the armor was tactically advantageous. 

“What’d you name yours?” He changed the subject to pull his mind from sad memories. 

“Nimue,” she grinned like a proud parent. 

“Like from King Arthur?”

“Yep.” Aleski eyed him for a moment. “Not many people know where that came from…” 

He shrugged, “I love plays.” Gavin glanced at the floor between them. “Loved. I don’t imagine there’s theater around anymore.”

“Actually… There is.”

He looked up to find her grinning with excitement. He smiled in turn. She liked plays, too. Al’s posture changed to something more coy and Gavin picked up on it immediately. He couldn't figure men out half the time, but women, he knew. 

“I’d really like to see one sometime on libby. Maybe you could show me?” He moved a little closer to her.

“I’d love to.” She shifted her weight to lean closer to him in kind. “Nobody here appreciates the arts… They’d rather get drunk or go see fights in the Combat Zone.” She nearly rolled her eyes, “that’s fine too, but a good play is where it’s at.”

Gavin nodded, “I like all those things, but I miss theater the most.” 

“Me too. I haven’t gone in a while. Tristan didn’t…” She trailed off and turned back to the armor. “Maybe you should give it a cool Shakespeare name.” 

He eyed her for a moment then smiled and nodded at the suggestion. 

Suddenly, Crewe nudged between the two of them and put an arm around each of their shoulders. He leaned forward, looked at their faces in turn, then smiled, “you ladies gossiping around the water cooler?” 

Aleski brushed his arm off and stepped to the side away from him. Gavin didn’t move. He smiled back and nodded like an idiot, lost for words as he stood there with Tristan’s warm arm draped over his shoulders. 

Crewe pushed himself back and cocked his chin toward the mess hall, “grab your purses and let’s go eat. I’m starving and it’s salisbury night.”

Gavin found himself trailing after him as if pulled by a leash.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin watched the two soldiers hop out of the vertibird to rummage the building they had landed atop and he silently counted to fifty before stepping out of his armor and sitting down in the copilot spot.

“You aren’t supposed to do that.” Lucky sat back in her seat and propped her feet up on the instrument panel between the two of them. “My guard is supposed to stay in their armor.” 

“How about you wear it and I sit there? We can play role reversal. It’ll be hot. And when I say it’ll be hot, I mean the armor. It’s about two hundred fucking degrees in there.” He flashed a smile. When she raised an eyebrow at him he shrugged, “you going to tell on me?”

“Fuck no. Just letting you know… Don’t get caught.” 

“We had a saying in the military before… If you don’t get caught, it’s not against reg.” He shook his head and chuckled quietly, “some things never change.”

“Ah, yeah. We have that exact same saying.” She took off her helmet with an exaggerated motion that clearly stated she wasn’t supposed to.

“Lots of things are the same, but some are different.” Gavin looked thoughtful for a moment, “it feels like I’ve always been here in the Brotherhood.”

“There weren’t any women in the military in your time… Is that weird for you now?” 

“It was for a minute, but it’s not so much different. The bond is the same. Soldiers are the same.” He shrugged, “It doesn’t really matter to me what’s in people’s pants.”

Jessy eyed him for a moment with a little grin on her face. 

“What?” 

“Nuthin.” She laughed lightly, “just that I can’t quite tell if you’re just super friendly or have been flirting with pretty much everyone on the Pryd since your arrival.” Lucky pointed at him with a wink, “speaking of not caring what’s in people’s pants.”

“I’m friendly.” 

“You like to give hugs… Naked.” She laughed when he wrinkled his nose at her. “Yeah, I get it. Got your eye on anyone in particular?” Lucky shrugged, “sides me, of course, cuz I’m taken.” She pat her hand on the arm of her chair, “I’m married to a ten ton chunk of metal.”

Gavin smiled and looked out the window. 

After a long moment, he got more comfortable in his seat and cleared his throat, “yeah, um… What’s the deal with Crewe?”

 _“Crewe?”_ She snorted, “seriously?” She thought about it for a second then nodded, “yeah, okay. Makes sense. Everyone likes TC.” 

“So?” Gav prodded for intel.

“So what? He’s single. Perpetually single.”

Gavin stared at her as he tried to think of exactly how to word what he was getting at. “Does he… You know… Swing my way?”

She blinked at him for a moment, snorted a chuckle, then shrugged, “I don’t know. Ask him.”

“Have you ever seen him with a guy before?” 

“Not that I recall. Only chicks. Briefly. Jordyn was his longest relationship like… Ever. And that didn’t even last a year.” She furrowed her brow, “but… I don’t know. Sometimes he does and says things that really make me wonder. Not my business though.”

Gav smiled sweetly, “can you maybe make it your business? Just a little… For a friend…”

“Just go ask him.”

He sighed, “it isn’t that easy.”

“Sure it is. Watch.” Lucky cleared her throat and worked out her best deep male voice, “hey TC, I think you’re pretty hot and I’d like to do butt-stuff with you. Are you into butt-stuff?”

She laughed and Gavin held a finger up toward her, “do NOT do that. Ever again.” He cracked a smile.

She shrugged it off, “so why can’t you ask him yourself, chickenshit?”

“I like him… But I’d like him as a friend first and foremost.” He glanced down at his hands in his lap, “I don’t want to make anything awkward between us and lose the friendship.” He took a breath in the silence that followed and lowered his voice, “and, you know, two… Guys… And…” He looked up at her, “you’re awfully nonchalant about this…”

“Yeah? Are you embarrassed cuz you like TC of all people? I mean, like I said, everyone likes him. Don’t listen to what anyone says about him sucking at relationships and being a no good slacker asshole and--”

“Jess…” He stopped her rambling, “what do you think about gay people?”

She replied with a shrug, “relationships are relationships. Sex is sex. Love is love… Did you mean me personally or the Brotherhood as a whole? Because… Nobody says _‘gay’_ anymore.”

He stared at her for a long moment. 

“Wow. Okay.” She put her hands behind her head and leaned back further, “things _have_ changed a bit for you. Sure, I’ll be your wingman.”

“Promise me one thing?”

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do _\--NOT--_ say ‘butt-stuff’, for the love of God.”  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

“Didn’t you just eat literally ten minutes ago?” Lucky took an empty tray from the stack and cut in front of Crewe in line.

“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met,” he stuck his hand out to shake, “I’m Tristan and I require about six thousand calories a day in the form of sugar.” He took hold of her hand and pulled her to stand back behind himself in the mess line.

She watched him for a moment, glanced around the mess hall at the few people around, then turned to him and grinned. “Out of all the people currently on this deck here… How many do you wanna fuck?” 

He took three cookies, pocketed two of them, and replied casually, “four.” He turned to her, glanced around only for a second then amended, “five.” He smiled down at her and spoke in a singsong manner, “why ever do you ask, dear Jessy?”

She shrugged, “no reason.” She set a wrapped snack cake on her tray then turned toward the room. “Wait… Who--”

“I’ll tell you who if you tell me why.” He tilted his head at her, dimpled grin remaining firmly in place. 

Jessy stared him down with narrowed eyes.

“You started it.” He shrugged and made to leave the deck.

“Wait…” She set her tray down on the counter and stepped after him, “can I have a hint?”

“Can I?” He continued strolling down the catwalk as she heeled beside him.

“Why can’t I just ask you crazy random things with no ulterior motive?” 

“It’s not your M.O., Jessy, and we both know it.” He paused, turned to face her, and looked her up and down. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your new best friend, would it?”

“Who?” 

“You know who. Kidd.” He motioned with a cookie back to the mess, “can’t believe you’d forget your new best buddy’s name, you were _just_ sitting with him not five minutes ago.”

She scoffed, “why the hell would I ask you a question like that because of him?”

He eyed her, “I have no idea. Why did you?”

“Your stupid psychology bullshit isn’t gunna work on me.”

“Really?” His grin returned.

“Stop it, asshat.”

“Fine. When you asked me who I’d fuck, three of them were standing at the time.” Crewe finished his treat, “fair’s fair, after all. You can have the hint since I got your why.” He licked crumbs off his fingers then turned and walked away.  
  


****

\- - - - - - - - - - -

****

Lucky dropped her tray on the table and plopped down next to Gavin. “So, good news and bad news…” She eyed everyone in the room carefully, lost in some irritated thought.

“Okay…?” Gav couldn’t help but look around the room wondering what she was so perplexed about.

“There’s guys he’d fuck. So there’s that.” She pointed, “there’s only one woman in here…” 

Gavin was suddenly even more confused at her behavior, but he shook it off. “There’s actually two, far as I can say. What’s the bad news?”

She looked at him for a moment then glanced down at herself and snorted, “I don’t count.” She turned to her food and started eating.

“Jessy... What’s the bad news?”

Speaking around a mouthful and shoving another bite in, she shrugged, “not really _bad,_ bad.” She swallowed and took a drink of water.

“Jess! Would you--”

“Okay look…” She turned to him and lowered her voice, “he is _really_ fucking smart.”

Gavin smiled, “I know, that’s the reason I’m attracted to him.”

“You can’t tell me that’s the only reason. He’s fucking angelic. He’s like pictures you find in magazines. You’d be lying if you said that wasn’t a factor to your hardon.”

“He is… Yes. But I’m not necessarily turned on by the way he looks so much as-- Wait… Did you tell him I wanted to know?”

“Not so much directly… He guessed on his own.” She shrugged and picked at her food.

“That defeats the whole purpose--” He rolled his eyes, “you’re a terrible wingman.”

“I never claimed to be a good one and I would like to take this moment to mention the fact that I did not, at any point, say ‘butt-stuff’.”  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin was oblivious to many things when it came to certain human interactions. Especially those dealing with other men and attraction. Apparently, back in the War, his entire squad knew about he and Sebastian before Gavin even realized anything. Which was unfortunate and a lot of wasted years.

There were a couple things he caught, if they were glaring like a Prydwen floodlight in his face. 

One thing he noticed was that every time he got close and comfortable with Aleski, Crewe would break them up and distract them. He seemed to still be jealous of Jordyn... He wanted her, but she didn’t want him. 

Gavin didn’t want to make anything weird between he and Aleski, either, so he figured he’d ask. He had no problem being upfront with her. She made it easy. She seemed pretty happy most of the time. And smart. And beautiful. No wonder Tristan had it bad for her. But they weren’t together any longer and there must be a good reason for that.

“What’s up with you and Crewe?” Gavin asked nonchalantly as he laid a card down on the table between the two of them.

Aleski raised an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

What _did_ he mean? “So you two were together once, now you’re not. But he keeps acting like… You know…”

“Like a jealous moron?” She rolled her eyes as she drew a card from the deck.

“Uh… Yeah. That, I guess.” 

“Told you. He’s an asshole.” She clenched her jaw for a moment then shrugged it off. “And he’s incredibly jealous of anyone he thinks is… _‘his’.”_

“He thinks you’re his?” Gav furrowed his brow as he laid a card down.

She sighed, “sort of. I broke it off with him, but he forced me to. He cheated on me and was mean to me… And he did it on purpose.” She paused and stared at the cards in the center of the table. “He still likes me, though,” irritation laced her voice, “obviously.”

“Why did he do that?” Gavin was genuinely confused about why anyone would act that way. Especially toward Jordyn. 

She shrugged, “I don’t really know. His relationships never last very long and he’s the reason why every time.” She chewed her lip for a moment and lowered her voice, “it started out really well. Then one day he just started being an ass. I have no idea why.”

Gavin was quiet for some time as he played their card game. He was trying to work up the courage to ask her permission to go for Tristan, but he felt that maybe she still wanted to be with him, despite all her irritation toward the man and his actions.

Lucky appeared and pulled a chair out, turned it around, and straddled it at the table. “You playing Trash?” She watched them for a moment as they both nodded out the obvious. “Deal me in next go round.” 

Jessy eyed the two of them playing quietly as she waited for them to finish their current game. “What’s up with this weird ass silence?” 

Aleski raised an eyebrow, “what weird ass silence?”

The two girls looked at one another for a moment and had some sort of mental conversation that Gavin just wasn’t privy to then Lucky spoke up, “is this cuz he wants to fuck TC?”

“Jess!” Gavin stared at her. _How did she do that?!_ He had always suspected women were telepathic, now he knew it. 

Aleski opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out, and she stared at Gav for a moment before collecting herself and shrugging, “fuck him all you want. I just wouldn’t rec a relationship with the bastard.” 

Gavin tried to relax and appear cool about it. “I’m not looking for a relationship.” Was that a lie? He wasn’t sure. 

Lucky gave a nod, “there’s lots better people to have an actual relationship with.”

The girls gave each other another one of those _‘entire conversation at a glance’_ looks and Aleski shrugged, “she’s right.” Al pointed a card at Gavin before laying it down, “couldn’t help but notice the way you look at Danse. Speaking of better relationships.”

“Danse?” Gavin wrinkled his nose. “But he’s…” _What?_ A Paladin? His sponsor? Way the fuck out of his entire league?

Jess shook her head, “naw, D hasn’t been close with anyone since… Well, in a long time.” 

Gavin perked up a little but tried to hide it, “why? What happened?”

Aleski shrugged again, “that’s his story to tell. Point being, there’s other people better suited for relationships around here.”

“Noted,” Gav nodded slowly and tried to keep from eying her. 

Was she telling him that so he wouldn’t go after Tristan? She must still be really hung up on him. Would it be better to take him so she’d move on, or leave him be so they could get back together? Did she care more than she was letting on? He should probably just leave him be… Gavin was really enjoying the friendship he had formed with this group and didn’t want to mess it up. 

But he _\--really--_ wanted Crewe and the more he was told not to go after him, the more he wanted him.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

“That’s just a smoke grenade?” Gavin cocked his chin to the thing reluctantly.

“Yup,” Crewe nodded almost proudly. “I can make all colors of them… I use crayons.”

“Crayons?” 

“Uh huh. Crayons. You know, those wax things little kids draw all over the walls with…”

“I know what crayons are…” Gav narrowed his eyes for a moment. He wasn’t an idiot. Of course, when it came to explosives, maybe he was. 

Tristan chuckled as he lit the thing and tossed it into the clearing. Blue smoke started to billow out of it and they both watched it in silence for a while. 

As it started to die down a little, Crewe smiled, “blue’s my favorite.”

“Is blue your favorite color?” Gavin immediately cringed a little inside as he asked. What a dumb thing to say.

He shrugged, “sometimes. Depends on my mood... Usually red’s my favorite color. But I’m not allowed to use the red because… You know… Those are for birdseed.” 

“You’re not _‘allowed’_ to do a lot of things you still do anyway.” Gav smiled sidelong at him then glanced down at the ground.

He smiled right at Gavin and nodded, “that’s how everyone should live. Life’s too short for so many arbitrary rules, you know?” 

“Life’s too short for a lot of things.” 

There were suddenly about a hundred things Gavin wanted to say just then. 

_Tell him you like him. Ask about Jordyn. Tell him he’s pretty. Kiss him._

_No. Don’t. He’ll get mad and hate you for it…_

“You trying to get with Danse?” Crewe suddenly asked as he turned back to staring out over the field.

“What?” Gav blinked stupidly.

“I’m in the same squad as you, in case you’ve missed that.” Crewe grinned sarcastically then held up his rifle and peered through the scope for a moment. 

“I’m… I don’t know. Why?” One thing Gav kept forgetting about Tristan was that the man was insanely perceptive. 

“Just wondering.” Crewe offered no more. 

Gav stared at him for nearly a solid minute before asking, “why, is there something I should know about him?” After all, everyone kept lending him ‘words of advice’ regarding Tristan, maybe he was up to the same. 

“Nope. I think you should. Maybe you can get that stick out of his ass and he’ll be more fun.” Crewe chuckled. 

Gavin couldn’t help but snort a little chuckle at that, himself.

“One thing though…” Crewe eyed him, “get all that fucking out of your system first. He’s more of a one person type guy… You know?” 

Gavin opened his mouth and spoke before he could stop himself, “is that why you and Jordyn broke up?”

Tristan narrowed his eyes slightly then turned away and peered through his scope again. 

“I mean… Why did you break up?” Gav tried to save the conversation.

Crewe was quiet for so long that Gavin thought he’d probably never speak to him again. 

Then he lowered his voice, “no.” He continued to scope the horizon, “I wasn’t very nice to her. She deserves much better.” 

Gavin wanted to ask why. He wanted to know what happened. But this time he kept his mouth shut. 

He suddenly turned to Gav and smiled, “so yeah, I’m free and able to fuck whoever I want.” He cocked his head slightly and looked Gavin up and down. “And I’m all about that…”

Gavin stared stupidly. 

Again, he had forgotten how perceptive Tristan was. And, apparently, Crewe had no idea how clueless Gav could be. This entire time, all the way back from their first meeting when Crewe somehow knew Gav had never really played Spades much, did he know Gavin liked him? Had he been flirting? Had he just been messing around with him? Did he not realize how insane Gavin had been making himself this entire time--

“Incoming!” Crewe turned away and started firing at a few ambling ferals that had made their way into the clearing, drawn in by the blue smoke. 

Gav lifted his rifle and started putting rounds into them as they appeared. 

Apparently, Crewe got really bored standing watch while the others rummaged buildings and his entertainment was tossing smoke grenades to draw out some targets. 

Gavin could appreciate that…

But it couldn’t have come at a worse time.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

“I think Tristan likes me, but I still can’t be certain…” Gavin nearly sighed as he tossed a card at the bucket on the floor.

Lucky shrugged, “I think he does, too.” She tossed a card.

Gavin eyed her, “how do you know?”

She snorted, “I don’t, I was just being positive or whatever.” She tossed two cards at once and they both missed the bucket to land on the floor with the rest of their misses scattered about. 

“Not helpful,” he rolled his eyes as he opened a new deck of cards and handed her half. “You’ve known him for a really long time, how can you not be able to tell if he’s into someone?”

“I don’t know,” she tossed five cards and got one in, “not my business I guess.” 

“Did you notice when he started liking Jordyn?”

“Oh yeah. He asked me if she was single.” 

Gavin did sigh this time. Jess could be frustrating every now and then. 

“What?” She shrugged, “he already knows you’re single. I don’t think there’s anything he needs to know about you other than if you’re into guys and you’ve made that pretty apparent… So…” She shrugged again in an overly exaggerated motion and threw another card at the bucket without looking. 

Bailey made his way onto the deck and stopped short of their card mess on the floor. He glanced up at the two of them sitting on the crates, then stepped over the cards and bucket to sit beside them. Lucky handed him half her stack of cards then took some more out of Gavin’s hand to make up for it.

“You two are like a fucking tornado in here…” Bailey said quietly as he tossed a card at the bucket and missed. 

“Well, stop throwing cards on the fucking floor and hit the target and it’d be less of a mess you have to clean up.” Lucky smirked at him.

“Me? I didn’t do this shit.” He stared at her… Then tossed another card.

“Too late. You’re an accomplice.” Jess tossed another five cards at the pail and got four in then silently applauded herself for it.

Bailey snorted and tossed another. “You guys are going on libby tomorrow.”

“Yeah… Gunna go to the bar,” Lucky shrugged. Then she sat up straight and set a hand on Gavin’s arm, “oh! Perfect! You can fuck TC on libby!”

“Jess!” He stared at her… Again. 

She furrowed her brow for a moment then glanced over at Bailey. “What?” She looked back to Gavin then thumbed at the other Knight, “it’s just Jon.”

Gavin sighed. He supposed it shouldn’t matter. Maybe if it made its way around the entire Pryd, then Tristan would find out and approach him so he wouldn’t have to do it. Being a male and trying to tactfully get with another guy could be frustrating at the best of times.

Bailey grinned around Lucky at Gav, “really?”

She replied for him, “what? TC is hot.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and stared up at the ceiling.

Bailey shrugged, “I guess. He’s kind of--”

“An ass. So I hear…” Gav finished. 

“Well, no…” Jon tossed a card, “I was going to say he’s kind of… Well, I was going to say it nicely and also that he’s not really my type, being a man and all.” He paused, “does TC like guys?”

Jess nodded, “yup. Just trying to figure out if he likes _\--this--_ guy,” she nudged Gav lightly with her shoulder and smiled.

Bailey raised an eyebrow at her, “you try asking him?”

“I told him to go ask but he’s a chickenshit and--”

“No, Jessy… _\--You--_ ask him,” Jon pointed at her for emphasis. As if he needed to. 

“Why does it have to be me?” 

“Because,” Gav smiled and patted her thigh, “you’re my wingman.” 

A deep voice across from them broke the stare down Lucky and Gavin were having, “soldiers!” 

Paladin Danse stood over the bucket and mess of cards scattered all over the floor. He motioned to the deck with a little irritation, “this is a violation of regulation section 37-D under fire hazards. You will clean this mess up ASAP.”

The three of them stood and spoke in unison, “yes, Sir.” 

As they knelt down to start picking up the four decks worth of cards off the floor, Danse softened his tone and motioned to Lucky and Gavin with his head in turn, “you two will be on liberty in less than 24 hours. I expect that you can hold back on making any further messes until then.”

“We were playing a skill based game…” Lucky grinned up at Danse, “figured you’d appreciate that.” 

“You were throwing cards all over the breakroom, I fail to see how that is skill.” The Paladin crossed his arms.

Lucky pointed at the bucket, “do you realize how difficult it it to get cards into a little target area?”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “I know you three have games to play which don’t involve making a mess.”

“All the best games are messy,” she grinned. 

Gavin started sorting out some cards. “We needed more people to play poker…” He glanced up at Danse, “do you play?”

“I don’t gamble.” 

“You don’t always have to bet to play poker. You can play for fun,” Bailey said quietly as he counted out cards in a deck to be sure they were all there.

“You should come down here sometime and play with me.” Gavin’s grin turned impish, “it’ll be fun.” He just couldn’t help himself. 

Danse didn’t catch the double meaning at first, “I don’t see how that would--” and then he suddenly paused and stared down at him as Lucky giggled quietly. “I don’t think that… Would be appropriate.”

“Awe, D…” Lucky smiled sweetly, “but it’d be fun. You remember fun, don’t you?”

“I know fun.” Danse had lost a little composure.

“Playing solitaire?” Lucky snorted. She took Gavin’s lead in tossing innuendos at the Paladin, “playing with yourself isn’t as fun as playing with someone else. When was the last time you played with someone?” 

Gavin snickered quietly and Bailey hid his amusement behind busying himself with the cards on the floor.

“There is nothing wrong with playing with yourself…” Danse started to blush slightly and corrected, “playing Solitaire. Alone.” He took a breath and pointed to the deck, “clean this mess.” He turned and left to hide the red on his cheeks. 

The three of them chuckled quietly.

Lucky pointed after Danse, “how come you can do that with him but not TC?”

Gav shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s fun to make Danse blush. Tristan is… Difficult to read… And I don’t think he even knows how to blush.”

Bailey nodded, “probably true. I don’t think he’s capable. He’s usually the one making other people blush.” He started sorting some more cards out and glanced at Gavin, “but you could make him smile pretty easily.” He looked over to Lucky sitting on her haunches not doing a damn thing to help clean, “you just going to sit there like a fucking lump or help out?”

“Umm… Actually,” Lucky stood up and dusted her clean pants off mockingly, “I would love to stay and help you boys clean, but I have to go wingman. Speaking of helping out.” She pointed to the stairs, grinned, then practically skipped away.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

“Hey, TC…” Lucky grinned as she sat herself down on his bed and got comfortable.

He didn’t look up from his comic. “S’up, shorty.”

“What do you think of G?” She asked outright.

Crewe licked his lips and turned the page before shrugging, “he’s cool.”

She sighed.

“What?” He glanced up at her. 

“Was he one of the people in the mess when I asked who you’d fuck?” 

Crewe laughed quietly. “You still hung up on that?”

She snorted, “no.” 

“Well then it doesn’t matter, does it?” He flashed a smirk and turned a page to continue reading.

She stared at him for a moment then sighed, “okay, yeah.”

“I thought the hint I gave you was pretty good. Not my fault you can’t remember who all was standing up when you asked.” He set the comic on his lap and closed it. “There weren’t even that many people on the deck at the time.” He pointed at her, “this was your game, after all.”

He grinned at her in such a way that made it clear he had caught her telling him everything he wanted to know without even saying a word. 

“Okay, smartass, you got me…” Lucky threw her hands up. “So what do you think of G?”

“What do I think of him? I think there were only two people in the entire mess technically sitting down the moment you asked.” 

She furrowed her brow and blinked at him. “He was sitting… You like him?”

Crewe laughed and opened his comic back up and continued reading.

Jessy chuckled quietly to herself. After a moment she swung her legs off the bunk to leave. “He likes you, too.” 

“Yeah. I know.” He nodded and turned the page.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	4. Liberty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crewe dropped his hands and shrugged, “a little bird said you like me.”
> 
> “That little bird is way out of line.” Gav pointed at the door.
> 
> He nodded, “out of line, but not out of her mind.” Tristan cocked his head and bit his lip with a little smile as he regarded him. 
> 
> Gavin’s thought train derailed right the fuck off a cliff at that look.  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Lucky followed Gavin over to the bar, staring at him expectantly the entire way.

“Rum and cola. Two.” He glanced at her then back to the bartender, “three.” He leaned against the bar and looked her up and down. “What?”

“What are you doing?” She hopped up to sit on the bar to be more eye level with him.

“Ordering drinks?” 

“No. I mean…” She glanced across the bar at Crewe who was talking to some woman by the pool table, “you two are really fucking stupid. You both keep looking at each other when you think the other one isn’t looking and you have these stupid fucking looks on your dumbass faces… You know he knows you want his ass, why are you wasting time with _that_ over there when TC is… You know… Right there. Go talk to him.”

Gavin looked over to his own table where his immediate conquest smiled and waved. He gave her a smile and a nod.

He turned back to the bar and shrugged, “he seems preoccupied.” He paid the tender and scooted one of the drinks toward Jess.

“First of all,” She took two large swallows of the drink and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt, “that woman he’s _‘preoccupied’_ with is a prostitute. He does it all the time.”

Gavin furrowed his brow at her then looked to the tender and the man confirmed it with a nod of his head. 

“Thought you said everyone likes him? Why does he…” Gav trailed off as he stared at the woman Crewe was talking to.

“I don’t know, because he doesn’t like commitment?” Jessy shrugged with a small level of irritation. “Doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with him for a while.” She glared at the woman left at Gavin’s table. “You don’t want that bar-bitch. You want TC.” She crossed her arms and raised an expectant eyebrow.

He stared at her for a moment then looked to the bartender. 

The man smiled sympathetically, “pretty apparent.”

“Really?” Gav made a face at the two of them and they both nodded pointedly in agreement. He had been trying not to let it show and he couldn’t pinpoint anything he did that was so apparent to everyone. Then again, Gavin had always been somewhat oblivious to these sorts of things.

Gavin allowed himself to openly watch Tristan for a long moment. He was mesmerized by everything the man did. The way he moved his hands when he spoke. The way he twirled the pool cue then used it to point at things. His smile. His laugh... 

“I don’t know what to say to him.”

Jess leaned close and smirked, “hey, TC, I think you’re hot and I’d like to do butt-stuff with you.”

Gav pushed her away, “do you even know the meaning of subtle?”

“Nope!” She laughed and finished off the drink before hopping off the bar to walk away.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin smiled and nodded at the woman beside him. He didn’t quite hear what she had said, but he was pretty good at looking like he was paying attention. Years of being dressed down in the war had taught him a lot.

He was watching Tristan and the woman, _\--prostitute--,_ he was with. She was fawning over him and he was showing the barest level of interest in her, but just enough to keep her there at his side while he socialized in a small group. Although, it seemed like she was there because she actually wanted him. That man probably got discounts and freebies more often than not.

Crewe was catching glimpses of Gav, more noticeable the more the man drank, and Gavin continued to watch him more unabashedly. Probably the rum. Probably. 

“Are you here?” The woman at his side spoke quietly and leaned forward to look Gav in the eyes. 

He blinked at her then smiled, “of course.” 

“I don’t think you are.” She smiled in return but regarded him quietly for a few long seconds. 

Gavin let out a quiet sigh and glanced down at the glass in his hands. “I’m sorry.” 

“Ah… Is it an ex-lover, or some woman who’s more eye-catching than myself?”

“You are gorgeous and I really enjoy your company…” Gavin put a hand on hers and looked her in the eyes. He hesitated, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want her… He wanted someone else. 

Lucky suddenly appeared and leaned heavily against the table. She pointed at the woman, “I sure could use you right about now.”

The woman pulled away from Gav and stared stupidly. 

“So, we’re playing darts over there and I need a partner.” Lucky looked the woman up and down with a grin, “what are you, like six foot two?”

The lady gave a confused smile and nodded, “yeah… I am…”

“You know how to play darts?” 

She shrugged, “I know how the rules go…”

“Awesome! You’re halfway there!” She reached a hand out to the woman and she hesitated briefly before taking it and standing slowly.

Jess smiled over her shoulder at Gavin, “don’t worry, I’m only borrowing her for a while. Go powder your nose or whatever.”

He stared stupidly after the Lancer then chuckled quietly to himself. He turned his attention back to the pool table, but Crewe wasn’t there. Gav looked around the bar… Tristan wasn’t anywhere. He narrowed his eyes for a moment in thought then downed the remainder of his drink, stood up and went to the bathroom.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin stepped into the room and swallowed down the laughter that threatened to escape. Maybe Lucky was a good wingman, after all.

Crewe was leaning against a sink picking at his nails. 

“Hey…” Gav stared at him a little stupidly, “what are you doing here?” He mentally berated himself for the ridiculously dumb words that left his fool mouth. 

“Waiting for you.” Tristan grinned at him through his lashes then went back to eyeing his nails casually. 

“Um… Okay…” Gavin stammered for a moment. “Why?” Wow, he was doing great so far. Blame it on the rum. 

Crewe dropped his hands and shrugged, “a little bird said you like me.”

“That little bird is way out of line.” Gav pointed at the door.

He nodded, “out of line, but not out of her mind.” Tristan cocked his head and bit his lip with a little smile as he regarded him. 

Gavin’s thought train derailed right the fuck off a cliff at that look. 

“So?” Crewe brought him back to his senses.

“So…” Gavin stared then shook it off and sighed, “yeah.”

He snorted and crossed his arms loosely over his chest, “wow… You sound so thrilled at the idea.”

“No… I mean yes.” _Where the fuck were his cool confident words when he needed them?!_ “I do… Like you. But I don’t want anything to be weird between us so I don’t--” He bit off the waterfall of stupid pouring from his lips, took a breath and restarted, “I think you’re… Attractive… And I want to do… stuff with you. I mean… Get to know you. Better.” He rolled his eyes at himself and stared up at the ceiling in exasperation to avoid the look on the man’s face. 

To Gav’s surprise, Tristan shrugged it off and smiled faintly, “it’s okay, I get that a lot.”

Why was the man so difficult to read? Was it because it mattered on some level? He really liked TC. Gavin wasn’t usually so awkward with people. Hadn’t been for a couple years now. He could approach a person, straight out proposition them, then walk away to the next if he was turned down. No worries. 

_‘Just ask him.’_

Gavin took a breath and carefully spoke, “are you into guys at all?”

He stood there silently leaning against the sink for, what seemed like, an eternity before shrugging, “maybe. I don’t know.”

“You… Don’t know? Have you ever...?”

He gave a very small nod. 

Gav was suddenly hit by a hundred questions. 

All those questions must have shown plain as day on his face because Tristan glanced over at the wall and lowered his voice, “I’ve been mistreated by men in the past.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” He shrugged, “it is what it is.”

“I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Or say anything stupid… More stupid…”

“What do you want from me?” The look on Crewe’s face was extremely guarded though his tone remained mostly conversational.

“Want from you?” Gav shook his head, “I don’t want anything from you… Nothing you don’t want to give freely.”

“Huh…” The look melted away to slight shock and his posture relaxed a little. After a moment of silent contemplation, Tristan pushed away from the sink and took two slow languid steps toward Gavin. 

He cocked his head to the side again and a small grin crossed his lips. “What do you wanna do?”

And Gavin’s thought train, laying at the bottom of the cliff, exploded into a ball of flame and shrapnel.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - - -**

Somehow, Gavin had completely relaxed after the two of them walked out of the bar together. Fresh air. More confidence in himself since he discovered more of how Tristan felt. Well, not so much how he _really_ felt rather than that he had agreed to Gavin’s proposition.

His proposition which had been blurted out in very unsmooth inebriated words. 

The two of them made their way to Crewe’s room at the Dugout, talking casually about people who had been at the bar and other things. He wasn’t shy or ashamed of anything, it seemed. Gavin was still getting used to that. Tristan had been amused when Gav asked if he should meet him at the room later on or follow ten steps behind. 

Gavin had a momentary painful thought as he walked beside Tristan right up to his door unabashedly… He wished he could have done this with Sebastian. He had always longed to be able to show public affection with his then-boyfriend in the war. Hold hands, kiss, go on dates… Not have to hide what they were doing from everyone. 

As soon as the door closed, Crewe stood in the middle of the room and turned to him. “I would like to take a moment to reiterate,” he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes slightly, “you’re only here to do what you said and nothing more.”

The look on Tristan’s face tore at Gavin’s heart. Had there ever been any men at all in Crewe’s life who hadn’t hurt him? The thought was a little sickening. 

Gavin offered a smile and put his hands up, “just here to suck you off.”

“Nothing in return.”

“I get to make you feel good for a while.” His smile grew, “that’s what I get in return.”

Tristan eyed him, “you’re fucking strange.” He shrugged and dropped his arms, “but I’m not about to turn down a good blow, so knock yourself out.” 

Gav snorted a little chuckle and shook it off. “So…” He glanced around the room, pointedly overlooking the bed. 

“So?” He knelt down to unlace his boots then stood and kicked them off haphazardly. 

He didn’t want to suggest anything that would upset Tristan or do anything that would seem threatening in any way… He was pretty sure that man could very well kick his ass, if not kill him. There was something hiding just beneath Crewe’s smiling boyish demeanor that suggested he was very dangerous and this new world had no laws outside of personal morals to bind people. This is where he had lived his entire life and Gavin was only new here.

Gavin stepped closer to him, making sure to leave a good three-foot space in between. “You wanna just stand there or maybe sit…” 

Tristan looked him in the eyes, searching for something. Gav smiled faintly. He was suddenly lost in the man’s beautiful green eyes.

Crewe relaxed and spoke quietly, “I’m not… Used to this.”

“If I do something you don’t like, just tell me to stop and I will.” Gavin carefully put his hands on Tristan’s waist. He was so warm and firm under his fingertips that it was difficult to keep from pulling the man’s clothes off right then and there just to be able to touch his skin.

Gavin had seen him in various states of undress right down to walking around naked in the locker room and he had dreamt about putting his hands on TC. His stomach knotted at the thrill of finally being able to feel him.

His body tensed for a moment then relaxed completely. He slowly leaned forward and kissed Gav softly, paused for just a second, then kissed him again, more deeply. 

Gavin let him lead, but failed to stop himself from pulling the man closer to himself. He drank in all of Tristan’s passionate kissing and the heat of his body. His warm mouth. Soft lips. Tongue. Teeth…

He suddenly put a hand firmly on Gav’s chest and took a step back. He ran his hands through his shaggy blonde hair in frustration at something Gavin couldn’t figure out. Though, his drunk mind could hardly hold onto any one particular thing at the moment. The growing hardon did nothing to help. 

“Sorry…” Gavin nearly whispered the word as an almost question.

Crewe shook his head then pulled his shirt off and threw it to the side. He looked irritated, but not at Gavin, in particular. 

Gav tried really hard not to stare openly at his body as the man took a couple more steps backward and unfastened his pants. He tried not to stare. Failed miserably. Tristan was a little taller than Gav and lithe. He wasn’t overly muscular, but every muscle, bone, and line was gracefully prominent on his toned body and the way he moved was enthralling… Even while irritated. Or, maybe, _especially_ while irritated.

He took the pillow off his bed and dropped it on the floor in front of the large armchair and sat down, leaned back, and grinned wolfishly at Gavin. He was definitely still down to play.

The alcoholic buzz Gav was feeling stopped him from sticking to any one train of thought outside of wanting desperately to touch the half-naked man in the chair and he moved forward without any more prompting. 

His better judgment faded away as Tristan’s demeanor changed to more playful and amiable. Gavin completely ignored the little voice in the back of his head that was telling him this man was completely unpredictable and maybe he should be more careful…

He put his hands on the arms of the chair, slowly leaned over him and kissed his neck. Tristan made a small sound as he lifted his chin, wordlessly asking for more. His tongue ran slowly along the man's pulse line and he scraped his teeth along smooth skin into a light nip to get him to make more sounds. And he did. He smoothed a strong hand firmly up Gavin’s arm, along his shoulder, to the back of his head and played his fingers through his hair, encouraging him to bite.

Tristan made a tight fist in Gav’s hair when he bit his collarbone and the deep-throated near grunt sound he made that time brought Gavin slowly to his knees, exploring the man’s smooth tight chest with his mouth and hands along the way. 

As his hands ran down along Tristan’s ribs, he arched his back and rolled his hips toward Gavin, pressing his enticing V-line against his mouth as his pants were lowered a little more and he came to rest at the very edge of the seat to lean back farther. He fisted Gavin’s hair and sucked air between his teeth when Gav made a light mark with his teeth then followed with his tongue to lick the pain away. 

TC let out a quiet moan as he eagerly pushed his pants down as far as he could reach and Gavin took them the rest of the way off, tossing them somewhere behind to clutter the floor. He spread his legs and Gav nestled between, laying firm kisses and nips along his abdomen and hips. Tristan put both hands on Gavin’s head and made a soft pleading sound. Nearly a whimper. Gavin ran his hands firmly down the man’s sides and let one hand trail over his erection, fingers brushing along the warm skin from tip to base, reveling in the hard twitch under his palm. 

He wanted to make Tristan whimper. Gavin loved making others lose control and get loud whenever he was able. TC was promising to be a loud partner. Gav pressed his lips against the soft crown of his hard cock and smiled against the flesh when TC pushed his hips eagerly forward. He imagined a time when he could possibly be with the man on a bed. Both naked. Teach him patience. Play it out longer. Explore every inch of his body.

Gavin looked up through his lashes and watched Tristan’s face as he took him in slowly. He bit his lip and inhaled deeply as he watched Gav for a moment, then he slowly closed his eyes and leaned his head back with a long drawn out moan. Louder. 

He pressed his tongue firmly along the underside and sucked gently as Tristan played his fingers through Gavin’s hair, clutching gently every so often when Gav took him deeper. 

_Fuck, Gav loved that._ He loved the taste of him. The way his cock fit in his mouth. The way his tight abdomen felt as he ran the fingers of his free hand over him. Those sounds he made. Louder. Unabashed moans and half-hitched whispers of Gavin’s name as Tristan slowly moved his hips. He moaned against him as he took him in as far as he could. Moved faster. 

The pleading moans started to become more desperate. Higher pitched. A whimper. A whispered _‘please’_ as his fingers tightened in Gavin’s hair. Gav closed his eyes and imagined him making those same sounds as he fucked him on the bed. He reached a hand down into his pants to ease some of the ache. The want. _Fuck, he wanted so badly to take this man._ Feel his warm body writhe against him. 

Another loud whimper. Another soft hitched _‘please’_ and Gavin’s name on his tongue. His muscles tightened and he arched his back a little then grabbed fistfuls of Gavin’s hair as he released in his mouth. Loud. Desperate. Gavin reluctantly pulled his hand from his own cock to keep from making a mess right then. 

As TC relaxed into the chair by degrees, Gavin gently sucked off the remaining spend, touched him softly for a moment, then set his chin gently on the man’s hip and smiled up at him. He was so sexy with that soft red glow on his cheeks.

When Tristan looked down at him, Gav pressed his lips against his abdomen and mumbled against his skin, “love the way you taste…” 

TC replied quietly, “love the way you taste me…” He grinned and ran his fingers softly through Gavin’s hair. 

He felt like he could just lay his head down on him and sit there for hours enjoying the feel of the man’s hands playing through his hair. _Just like Sebastian used to do..._

Tristan put his hands on Gav’s arms and urged him upward. He didn’t hesitate to move up the man’s body. He carefully placed a knee on the seat between Tristan’s thighs as he moved back in the chair. Gavin ran his hands up his ribs as he was pulled into a kiss. He let out a soft sound against TC’s mouth as the man ran his nails over Gav’s back and shoulders over his shirt. 

After a moment of kissing, Tristan pulled back. He looked Gavin in the eyes then nudged him off and away. 

“So… You should go…” He ran his eyes pointedly down Gav’s body and grinned, “take care of yourself.” He remained lounging naked in the chair and tilted his head a little. “Been fun. Ta ta.” He wiggled his fingers and waved Gavin away. 

_Just like that._   
  


****

###  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	5. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin stood there, staring after him, blinking stupidly. The forecastle… Of all places. Why did he think that was a good idea? And he told that Knight… Were they going to get in trouble? 
> 
> Gavin smiled. Fuck it. 
> 
> It would be worth it.  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin had quite a few one night stands with men in his time. It was something Nora understood that he craved and she couldn’t quite provide. Every so often, he would go into a town for the night, find someone, then return home. It wasn’t exactly looked highly upon among his family, so that was one thing he tried to keep from others. An unspoken non-secret. They knew. But he did love and provide for Nora and, so long as he was fulfilling his male duties, nobody said a word.

What he was always searching for, he had come to realize, was someone he could pretend to have a relationship with for that moment in time. Gavin romanticized many things in life. The war had taken away his lover, someone he wished he could be with openly, and so he played pretend with other men just to have a fleeting moment of the genuine love he had felt with Sebastian. Nora had been an arranged marriage, but the love he had formed with Seb had been completely organic. Gavin had chosen that relationship himself. Grew it and cultivated it himself. 

He knew he’d never find what he was looking for, but it felt nice for the time. 

And he found that he could play pretend to his heart’s content with Tristan. 

_But was it pretend?_

He really liked Crewe. A lot more than he had ever intended to. And he was now free to actually have the type of relationship he had always craved in his life. He could openly stare at Tristan with a dumbass fool grin on his face for the world to see and nobody really cared. 

So he did. Often. 

“What?” Gavin wrinkled his nose at Lucky as she stared at him with a little smile on her lips.

“Nuthin…” She took her helmet off and hopped out of the aircraft after him. “Just trying to imagine the exact words Kells will yell at you if he ever finds out about this.” Her grin widened by increments until she finally broke out in a fit of giggles.

“This was a supply run… I procured supplies,” he shrugged.

“Super important supplies. That we went completely out of our way for.” Jess walked beside him down the flight deck. “...And also spent Brotherhood caps on.” She poked a finger against a pocket on his vest. “Don’t forget that part, cuz it’s my favorite part.”

Gavin placed a protective hand over the pocket, “these _are_ super important supplies.”

“Well, if you’re trying to catch TC, candy is definitely the way to do it.”

He shrugged, “I just wanted to be nice.”

Jess snorted, “whatthefuckever.” 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Gav wrinkled his nose at her as she continued to follow him.

“Naw, this is cute as fuck and I wanna see how it goes. As your wingman, I’m rooting for you.”

She continued to shadow at his side all the way through the Pryd until Gavin found Crewe lounging on his bunk reading a comic. Sometimes he was easy to find. Sometimes. 

Tristan looked up from his comic and smiled, “s’up?” 

Gav wished he knew what was going on in TC’s head. He acted the same as he had before, which was both relieving and somewhat disheartening. Gavin really liked him and wished Crewe would like him the same way. He couldn’t tell how the man felt, he never opened up about feelings or himself. 

He could definitely see why Al thought the man was an asshole. He could be very standoffish most times. But some moments when Gavin had been with him in the Dugout proved otherwise. Intense and passionate… Then TC would detach and pull away as if trying to fight emotions.

“So… We were on a sup-run and I found something…” Gav reached in his pocket as Lucky gave a little snort and watched intently from Gavin’s bed. 

Crewe perked up considerably. It was adorable. 

Gavin pulled out a handful of suckers and dumped them in Tristan’s eager hands. 

“Oh, no way!” His eyes lit up and his smile really showed off his dimples. “I love you so much right now!” He stood and gave Gavin a quick tight hug.

Gav held his breath for a moment then nodded dumbly in reply. He longed for those words to be real and meaningful. 

“It wasn’t a problem,” Gav shrugged it off. 

Jess giggled quietly, “no problem at all.”

He glared over his shoulder at her, “do you have an off switch?”

“Nope… The Brotherhood never issued me one.” She pulled her feet up and got comfortable in a cross legged position on his bed. 

Crewe laughed as he fingered through the candy and immediately found one to open and stick in his mouth.

Gavin watched him for a moment then shook it off and pointed to the handful of suckers, “I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I got them all…”

Tristan pulled the sucker from his mouth and held it up, “red’s best, but they’re all good.” He dropped the rest in a pile on his bed next to his comic.

He took a step closer to Gav and lowered his voice, “wanna taste?”

“Yes…” 

He leaned close, touched the sucker to Gavin’s lips, then pulled it away and replaced it with his mouth. 

He tasted like cherry candy. _Delicious._

Tristan mumbled quietly against his lips, “meet me on the forecastle and I’ll give _you_ a treat…”

Gavin moaned quietly against his mouth in response. 

“Kidd! Crewe! Knock that shit off!” A patrolling Knight stomped up to them and Gavin pulled back immediately out of reflexive habit. 

Crewe let out an irritated sigh and rolled his eyes toward the armored man. “We’re not doing anything against reg, so piss off Lemaire.” He popped the sucker back into his mouth and turned away from the Knight. 

Lemaire nearly huffed, “you can’t be making out in the barracks and--”

“If you’re pissed about us making out in the barracks, you should see what we’re about to be up to.” Crewe grinned at him and gave a wink just to antagonize the man. 

Gavin stared stupidly at Tristan.

The Knight pointed at Crewe angrily, “if I catch you two--”

“You’ll bring popcorn?” TC snorted a laugh.

Lucky giggled and stood up, “gotta catch ‘em first.” She punched Gav lightly on the arm as she walked past to leave the deck. “Welp, this has been entertaining for a second, but I got shit to do.” 

Tristan chuckled and gave her a mock salute as he watched her go.

Lemaire crossed his arms and didn’t move.

“What are you going to do? Follow me around all day?” Crewe made a shooing motion with one hand, “go do your damn job and patrol. You can’t be up my ass 24/7… And I would like to reiterate, we’re not doing anything against reg.”

The Knight said nothing and stood still as the two of them stared one another down for a moment, then Lemaire stomped past, making sure to touch Crewe roughly with his armored elbow as he went. Gavin glared and took a step after the Knight and Tristan put a hand on his chest to stop him. 

“He’s just mad because he wants me and can’t have me. He’s a cuntbucket.” Crewe waited until Lemaire was off the deck then shrugged, “so… Forecastle. Give it thirty minutes.” He licked the sucker and winked, took two steps backward then turned to leave.

Gavin stood there, staring after him, blinking stupidly. The forecastle… Of all places. Why did he think that was a good idea? And he told that Knight… Were they going to get in trouble? 

Gavin smiled. Fuck it. 

It would be worth it.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin clutched the railing and peered down at the water below as the cool late evening breeze ruffled his hair. It was a long way down. He wasn’t afraid of heights, but he had no clue how it was physically possible for the Pryd to stay in the air and he didn’t trust any bit of it. The more he thought about the witchcraft that must be keeping the thing aloft, the tighter his grip on the railing grew.

Until Tristan touched his shoulder lightly to get his attention.

He stood there, smiling his cute dimpled grin, as if he weren’t sixty some odd feet above the rocky shoreline standing on magical rusted metal. 

“Fancy meeting you here.” Crewe bit his bottom lip and looked Gav up and down.

“You come here often?” Gavin joked a little as he relaxed and stepped closer, partially to get away from the edge of the deck, but mostly because he wanted to be near Tristan.

“I’ll come as often as you want, wherever you like,” he grinned. 

Gavin took him by the waist. “Is that so…” Things were much easier now that he knew where Tristan stood with him. Gavin felt much more bold... And it was now even more difficult to keep from ravaging the man.

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded as he leaned forward and kissed Gav gently. 

His kissing was always gentle. It had surprised Gavin in the Dugout how gentle Crewe was. 

And he still tasted faintly of candy. 

TC pulled away and leaned against the railing, his back to the airport. He was still smiling, but Gav couldn’t quite figure out why Tristan kept pulling from kissing like he did. Gavin really loved the kissing and always wanted much more of it… But he allowed Tristan his comfort and didn’t persist when the man stopped him. 

“I’ve always liked sucking on things…” Crewe mused, “you seem to like it, too.” 

Gav nodded and grinned. 

Tristan cocked his head, arched an eyebrow, and unfastened his pants without another word. 

It was a clear order. Not even so much of a request. Gavin wanted to process that for a moment, but he found himself on his knees almost immediately. It didn’t matter if it was an order, Gav wanted to do it just as much as TC wanted it. 

He had been dreaming of the next time he’d be able to. He also dreamt of doing more. _So much more._

Gavin gave one quick apprehensive look past TC’s leg to the airport, then shrugged to himself and tugged the man’s pants down to his thighs. If he would have been caught doing this in the War, he would have been shot. But Crewe didn’t seem to care, so it must not be a big deal now. He trusted that the man knew what he was doing.

Plus it was kind of exhilarating to be out on the forecastle in front of God and everyone, even if the sun was setting.

His cock twitched at the thought of it. 

Gav ran his hands up over Tristan’s thighs, following with firm kissing and licks as he moved closer to the man’s already hard cock. 

The images of fucking the man over the railing were interrupted by little fleeting thoughts of Lemaire actually finding them. Or anyone else, for that matter. Unfortunately, that made Gavin go from wanting this to last a long time, to trying to get Tristan off as quickly as possible. Which TC seemed to be all for. 

Gavin adjusted himself on the metal deck and pulled Crewe into him to encourage him to fuck his mouth, which he did. He put both hands on Gav’s head and moved his hips gently at first, but more aggressively as Gavin put three fingers firmly around the base so he could take him better without choking. 

Tristan started making noises and Gavin moaned quietly against him. His free hand clutched at TC’s ass tightly as encouragement and it wasn’t long after that the man’s movements started to get sporadic. He jerked his hips a little, let out a loud couple of grunts and a moan Gavin was sure the entire Wasteland heard, and released. 

“Oh… fuck... you…” TC grinned as he leaned back heavily against the railing.

Gavin wiped his mouth, cleared his throat a couple times, then stood up carefully. His knees hurt. 

“Fuck me?” He smiled. 

Tristan chuckled quietly and slowly started to adjust his pants. “Yeah, fuck you.”

“That a good fuck you or a bad fuck you?” 

“It’s an outstanding fuck you. You’re pretty fucking good at this.” He ran a hand through his hair to brush it out of his face, but it fell right back. 

Gavin loved the man’s perpetually messy hair. He smiled at him and took an awkward step forward, hoping for more kissing like he’d done in the Dugout. Hoping for more of anything, really. He wanted so badly to hold him. Kiss him. Touch him. _More._

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Tristan asked quietly.

“No... I liked it.” Gav snorted, “but next time remind me to wear my knee pads.”

TC laughed, “good thinking.” 

He didn’t decline the mention of ‘next time’ and that made Gav smile. _There would be more._

Tristan pushed himself away from the railing and pressed up against Gavin, playfully setting his hand on his chest as he moved his head close. 

He smiled and ran his other hand over Gavin’s half hardon, making it twitch lightly. Crewe stood there like that for a moment, rubbing Gav firmly over his pants until he was fully hard, then gave him one long deep kiss… And he pulled away. 

“Think of me.” Tristan winked as he took a step back toward the hatch, gave a mock salute, then turned and left the forecastle. 

Gavin stood there staring at the door for a moment, then looked around the dark forecastle and the airport below. He sighed and turned away from the door as he unfastened his restricting pants. 

He wondered if there would be anything else between the two of them. TC was strange sometimes and really difficult to figure out. When the man had his dick out, he seemed more caring and sweet, but the moment Gav finished him off, his attitude changed drastically and it was a little hurtful. 

Maybe it was because they had been on the forecastle and it was just a quick thing… Maybe he could be with him the next time they were on libby. 

Gav smiled as he thought about that. Fucking Tristan in the Dugout… Hearing him whimper and say Gavin’s name as he writhed, sweaty and slick. 

He grunted quietly as his hand moved faster and he tried to keep quiet. Gavin took a quick glance over his shoulder at the airport below and gripped the railing tightly in his free hand. The images in his head put Tristan in front of him right there over the railing and Gav grunted again and released a good amount right on the edge of the deck. 

He leaned on the railing and chuckled quietly to himself as he looked at the mess. There was just something he rather enjoyed about this. He’d have to do it more often. 

Gavin wondered if he could talk anyone else up to the forecastle.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

“So how’d it go?” Bailey said as rested his rifle up against the fallen tree and took a seat next to Gavin.

Gav tried to be cool and shrugged, but then a smile spread across his face and he couldn’t help himself, “went well.”

Bailey smiled at him as Gav handed over a half eaten MRE.

He motioned to Crewe off in the distance standing guard as they all rested along the side of the road, “he’s a good guy.”

Gavin grinned at Tristan stupidly. “Yeah…” 

The man had been throwing rocks at a car for a while… Until Danse reprimanded him for making so much noise. Everything he did was adorable, even the troublemaking bullshit.

Jon lowered his voice, “what’s up?”

“Nothing. Why?” Gav eyed him.

“You seem… Conflicted.” 

“I dunno.” He shrugged, “he can be difficult to figure out sometimes… Have you known him long?”

“Few years. He and I aren’t extremely close, but we call each other friend.” Bailey smiled, “and when TC decides to call someone a friend, it really means a lot. He doesn’t trust anyone.”

Gavin nodded, “yeah…” 

“It just takes him a while to warm up to people.” Jon smiled, “you’ll get there. You’re extremely likeable.” 

“Thanks,” Gav snorted. 

It had taken him a long time to become who he was now. When he was a teenager at the start of the War, Gav also had a tough time trusting others. He fought a lot and was a very bitter young man. Friendship and love had helped him be better than that. 

He wanted to help TC get past whatever his trust issues were. At least with him. It’d take a lot of work, but he’d probably be worth it.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin stared down at the dead bodies that lay on the floor.

The world started to slowly come back into full view. Tunnel vision subsiding. Fight or flight fading away with the last bits of adrenaline. 

Tristan nudged him with an elbow and gave a faint smile, “way to fuck shit up.”

Gav nodded, but didn’t smile in the slightest for the time. 

“Victory party?” TC said as he leaned forward to look at Gavin’s face. 

The man was trying to cheer him up. Make him smile. But that’s not what he needed at the moment. Crewe was great at making people feel good and laugh, but he wasn’t the best at commiserating. 

Gav forced a tiny hint of a smile, “yeah. Later.” 

TC paused for a moment then nodded and took a step back to go start a clean up and Gavin watched him go. He wished Tristan would just hold him and be a comforting presence, but that’s not who TC was. He had his good points, for sure, but there were many times Gavin just wanted to sit in silence or talk about things and the man was not _‘that guy’._

He sighed and moved out of the lobby to a hallway. He needed a moment. Just a moment. 

Gavin leaned heavily against the wall then sunk down to sit. 

He unstrapped his helmet and dropped it to the floor beside him then put his head in his hands as past memories and ghosts haunted him. 

Death and war was something he knew. A strange familiarity that oddly felt like home. Didn’t mean he liked it. Gav never had a problem killing people when they had been firing on him to begin with. _Enemies._ But afterward? After the adrenaline subsided. After he came back into his right mind. After. 

He glanced down at his shirt where blood splatter stained the green materiel. Then he immediately thought about Sebastian. Seb would always pull his mind from this stuff. He wasn’t here now. He was dead. Long dead. 

Gav remembered the first time he killed someone. The second time. The third. The blur of numbers after that. Seb had been there for them all. 

He stared at the blood stains. 

Someone sat down beside him, but he didn’t look away from the dark red-black splotches on his shirt as his mind recounted all the times before. 

_After._

A hand reached out and smoothed over his shirt. Over the blood splotches. Wiped away his memories for a moment. 

Gavin blinked at the hand, then turned his head. 

Danse nodded silently at him with a very faint smile. 

He stared at the man for a long moment then gave one little nod and turned to look at the wall opposite them. 

“You did well, soldier,” Danse said quietly. 

“Thanks… I guess,” Gav sighed. 

“It never gets easier,” Danse said as he made himself more comfortable against the wall. 

“No,” he agreed. 

There was a long silence that followed… But it wasn’t uncomfortable. Sometimes all Gavin needed was for someone to sympathize and sit next to him. Someone who knew exactly what he was feeling and thinking. Someone who had gone through it all. 

Nora, bless her heart, always tried to talk to him about it. About the nightmares and flashbacks. She could never understand it all and Gav couldn’t even begin to describe it. 

All he needed was someone who could relate and sit next to him in silence. 

Danse’s comforting heat beside him was all he wanted. The warm strong presence. A rock. An anchor.

After some time, Gavin looked over to him and smiled a thank you. 

The Paladin smiled back. The smile touched his warm brown eyes. Gav wanted to lay his head on the man’s shoulder for even more comfort… But he refrained. 

He wanted Danse to hold him in his strong reassuring arms and tell him everything was okay. 

_Everything was okay._

Gavin took a breath and stood and Danse stood with him. They smiled at one another once more then moved back into the large open lobby of the Hospital they had just cleared out. 

_And that was soldier life._

Brief moments of peace and camaraderie… Then these little sudden moments of violence. Moments of friendship and deep caring bonds… Moments of loss and heartache. Moments of love and compassion. Too brief. 

Moments. 

_Life._  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	6. Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He continued to run his fingers through the man’s beautiful blond hair, he couldn’t stop himself, but he spoke quietly, “Tris… You don’t have to if you don’t want…” It was difficult to say it… Gav _really_ wanted him to. _So badly._ But he didn’t want him to feel obligated or do it out of pity.  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin continued to flirt with pretty much everyone he took any interest in. He loved flirting. He loved how it made him feel, and also how it brightened other people’s lives. He had always enjoyed making other people feel good… Any way possible.

His flirting had led him to quick sex sessions hidden in the locker room or parking garage, or other places around the Airport. Even the forecastle at one point. Places they had to be quiet. And fast. And mostly clothed. And… There was never any meaningful cuddling or talking afterward. 

And Crewe continued to be a part of that. The man would come around and pull Gavin aside every so often, happily take Gav down on his knees, then continue on with whatever he had been doing prior. 

That was what he always hated in his past with Sebastian in the War. No time to lay together bathed in the light sweaty afterglow of sex and just… Be together. Have a real relationship. Share intimate moments whenever they wanted.

But the closest thing he had to that, at the moment, was Tristan. 

TC didn’t really stick around afterward, either, but he felt a connection with the man in the times between whenever they hung out together. They talked and laughed. Shared comics and light hearted stories about missions. Sometimes, they would just sit or lay together in the same space reading comics or playing card games in comfortable silence. 

And Gav found himself comparing that to time with Seb, also. He tried not to compare, but he couldn’t help it. Sebastian used to sit and read books and Gavin would lay next to him in a bunk as he did. They’d steal kisses and soft touches if they ever found themselves alone… Which was hardly ever. 

So, whenever Tristan pulled Gav aside, he was always eager to go.

Gavin glanced over at Crewe laying next to him on a bedroll. 

TC was staring back at him… Grinning in the dim light of the large room.

They were with the squad outside the wire… But not too terribly far from the Airport. Far enough away that they had to stop for the night in the large apartment complex. They had cleared it out easily, since nobody was in it or even around for miles, then Danse had told them they were staying the night. For whatever reason.

Gavin didn’t mind. He got to do something other than be on the Pryd. It was like a weird mini-vacation from utter boredom.

And laying next to Tristan, even though there was a good three feet between their bedrolls, was a nice feeling that he completely romanticized in his own mind.

“Hey…” Gavin mouthed quietly at him so he wouldn’t wake the others who were sleeping around them.

TC cocked his chin in reply then moved closer and whispered in his ear, “I could go for a break right about now…”

Gav pulled back to give him a look, “from sleeping?”

The man bit his lip and nodded slowly then looked Gav’s face over... And it hit him.

“Me too…” He whispered with a grin.

Tristan rolled away and stood silently, taking the warmth his body had been providing right along with him. He quietly left the room and Gavin looked around at the sleeping soldiers… Then got up as quickly and silently as he could to follow after. 

As soon as he went around the corner of the lobby into the hallway, Tristan grabbed him by the arm and kissed him, pressing his body as close as their gear would allow. 

Again… Gavin briefly found himself comparing it to some moments with Seb, but it melted away as Tristan moved a hand under the bottom of his vest onto his hip.

Gav looked around the dark hallway with a little apprehension and whispered, “I don’t think--”

TC cut him off with another deep kiss. 

He pulled back and paused inches from Gav’s face, “you don’t want to?” He gave a mock pout… Then his hand slid to Gavin’s crotch over his pants. He moved his lips to Gavin’s ear and spilled warm breath against his neck, “I think you want to…”

There was nothing he could do to hide the twitch his betraying cock gave as the man squeezed gently and goosebumps ran down his spine. 

“I do… But the patrol... Danse…” Gavin looked down the hallway. 

Tristan used his free hand to point upward, then cocked an ear. “Is upstairs.” He grinned, “we’re going to go down… Stairs.”

Even in the low light, Gavin could see a bright sparkle in the man’s green eyes. And it was beautiful. He glanced down and smiled, then nodded. TC took his hand and they made their way quietly to the subfloor. 

They entered one of the few rooms in the basement area and Tristan immediately found a lamp to turn on. Then they both cringed at the terribly decorated room.

“Wow…” TC said as his eyes went to the leather sofa draped in zebra striped fake fur… Then to the brightly colored wall paneling with gaudy multicolored squares. 

There were more fake fur rugs all over the place. Stylish chairs that looked very uncomfortable. A chandelier that made absolutely no sense and looked like it was in the way more than served any purpose. 

Tristan went to the bedroom, turned the light on, and started chuckling. “This is cool.”

Gavin stepped up behind him and stared at the round bed sitting in the middle of the room, almost completely filling the space. It had black satin sheets, a leopard print comforter, and many multicolored decorative pillows. 

“Cool isn’t exactly the word I would use…” Gav said as he poked around the clutter sitting around the top of the dresser.

TC turned to face him and spread his arms, “but I make any room look better.”

Gavin smiled at him, glanced down at his feet for a moment, then nodded and moved closer. “You are definitely something I’d like decorating my bedroom.”

“Is that so?” Tristan immediately pulled the straps on Gavin’s vest to take it off. 

“Mm-Hm…” He nodded as he leaned in for more kissing. He could never get enough of that. He couldn’t get enough of anything the man gave him. 

And TC knew exactly how to hold Gav’s interest and make him do anything. Keep him craving and wanting. Keep him addicted and never give him enough. 

He pulled away from the kiss.

And there it was. That thing he did which kept Gavin chasing after him and hungrily begging for more. 

It was frustrating. 

Did he do that on purpose just to make Gav crazy? Had these moments been calculated just to keep Gavin hooked? If he wanted his dick sucked, he could just ask, he didn’t need to keep playing games...

He stepped after Tristan this time, but didn’t move to kiss him again. 

TC took a breath and glanced down at the floor for a split second, then stepped back again and started removing his own vest. 

Gavin watched him for a moment then finally found the courage to ask him outright, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. What do you mean?” He dropped his vest to the floor then unstrapped his thigh holster to remove it.

“This... “ Gav tried to choose his words carefully, “you pull away from me sometimes and change…” He didn’t even really know how to describe it. 

TC shrugged and set his holstered weapon on the dresser. 

Gavin eyed him then removed his own holster and set his weapon down next to Tristan’s. 

They stared at each other in silence for a moment then the man shrugged again, “told you… I’m not used to this.”

“Kissing?” Gavin furrowed his brow.

“No… You know... “ He motioned to Gav then himself, “this.”

Gavin was silent for a moment then gave a slow nod. By _‘this’,_ he either meant being comfortable with another man sexually, or some sort of caring relationship that involved making out and cuddling. It was clear he didn’t really want to talk about it, so Gav reluctantly dropped the subject… But he had a little better insight into his mind now. 

The man cleared his throat quietly then moved toward the bed. He snorted at it then turned around and smiled brightly, “suck my dick.” 

Gav smiled back and nodded as he moved close and reached out to unfasten the man’s pants. It was amazing how he could just suddenly derail Gav’s thought train and then make him do things while he had been trying to think about other shit. 

But this was why they had come downstairs in the first place, wasn’t it? And Gavin definitely still wanted him. Wanted to make him moan quietly and call his name as he tilted his head back and came. That was an image Gav revisited often in his mind and could never get enough of. When that man was in the throes of passion… It was a sight to behold.

Tristan ran his hands through Gavin's hair and watched as he lowered himself down to his knees.

Just before Gav moved his head close, Crewe tightened a fist in his hair and pulled away. 

“What is with you?” Tristan sighed.

“What do you mean?” Gavin was really confused.

He refastened his pants with irritation and sat on the bed then motioned to Gav, “every time I say suck my dick you hit your knees.”

“Yeah?” Gavin furrowed his brow, “I like it. Don’t you?” 

“Yeah. I do. A lot.” He sighed again, “but this is… You realize I’m just using you… Right?”

Gavin moved to the bed and sat next to him carefully. “I like it. I like you.”

“Why?” Crewe rolled his eyes. “I’m not being particularly nice to you.” 

Gav stared at him. He wasn’t sure what to say for a while. He shrugged and looked down at the floor. He shouldn’t have opened his mouth about the distancing and kissing issue.

Tristan sighed once more, “can’t you take a hint?”

“I don’t know. I just want… I don’t know.” _He did know._ He wanted the relationship. The closeness. To reenact his time with Sebastian. But he also enjoyed making Tristan feel good, even if he was being used. Gavin didn’t really see it that way because he also enjoyed the time. 

_Besides, wasn’t he using TC just as much?_

“You shouldn’t like me. I’m an asshole.” 

Gavin looked up at him. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? I just am.” Tristan gave an emphatic shrug as if it were plain as day.

“You don’t have to be. Why are you?” Gav persisted.

“Because. It’s better this way, you know?” He said quietly.

Gavin tilted his head and regarded him silently for a moment. It suddenly started to all make sense. “Why?”

“Stop asking me that. Quit trying to figure me out,” Crewe glared dangerously. 

“Tris… You don’t want to be an asshole and push people away. Why are you doing this?” Gavin was trying to speak carefully, but his accusation was bold and he looked the man right in the eyes. He tensed and readied himself for a fight. 

He stared silently at Gavin for a while, glaring angrily. Then it melted and he looked away. “I ruin people.” 

“You can’t ruin people…” Gavin said quietly. 

“I ruined Jordyn,” he raised his eyebrows for emphasis. “She could have been a Paladin. I fucked it up three times for her. First time she declined the promo to be with me, second time she declined to come out here to this shithole to be with me, and the third time I got her in trouble…” 

“She chose to do those things, Tris. She’s a big girl and far from stupid.” 

“Yeah, but it’s still because of me. And now here you are getting in trouble because of me when you could be so much better.” Tristan smacked him on the thigh with the back of his hand to drive home the point. 

“You didn’t put a gun to my head. I’m here because I want to be. I really do like you and want to be with you. I make my own decisions.”

He snorted, “learn to make better decisions.” 

Gavin poked him in the thigh and smiled a little, “you’re here with me because you want to be… If you’re so scared of ruining people, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t keep pulling me aside to be with me.”

Tristan glared for a moment. “No, I just like getting my dick sucked.” 

“I also think you want companionship.” 

He stared then shrugged it off, “so... I’m only human.” 

“So… Enjoy the companionship and stop being an asshole on purpose to push people away. You might find some happiness,” Gavin smiled. “Let people decide for themselves what they want to do in a relationship with you. We’re all grown ass adults here.”

Tristan let out an irritated growl as he flopped back on the bed.

Gavin carefully laid down on his side next to the man and smiled at him.

After a moment of staring at the ceiling, TC eyed him, “so what? You want to try a relationship or some shit?”

“Whatever you want.” 

“I want you to suck my dick,” he snorted a little laugh. 

Gavin reached over to touch him and Tristan grabbed his wrist, “but I suppose I could try not being such an ass to you.” 

He pushed Gavin back by his wrist and rolled over him then sat up to straddle his hips. 

“I think I like the sound of that…” He said as he ran his hands up Tristan’s thighs.

“You do.” TC grinned and untucked Gav’s shirt to slide his hands underneath along his chest. 

He chuckled quietly, then sucked air between his teeth when Tristan curled his short nails pointedly into his skin in an urgent, yet somehow oddly gentle way. Gavin clutched the man’s thighs tightly in response then let out a satisfied quiet moan. 

“You like that?” TC spoke quietly as his hands caressed his chest and smoothed away the slight pain.

All Gavin could manage to do was bite his lip and nod. He was pretty sure he’d like anything Tristan did to him. 

He pushed Gav’s shirt up as high as he could and leaned down. His height and how he was sitting led his mouth to the top of Gavin’s chest where he laid a few firm kisses then pressed his open mouth against warm flesh and ran his tongue across the skin into a sucking bite Gavin was positive left quite a mark. 

_He reveled in it._

The pain and pleasure mixed into a wave of goosebumps across his entire body and he let out a louder moan as his hand went to the back of Tristan’s head to gently hold him there for a moment longer. 

Then he moved down and kissed him a few more times, left one more mark, then scooted himself further down Gavin’s legs to the edge of the bed while trailing more teeth and firm kisses along his ribs along the way as far as he could reach.

Tristan slid himself off the bed between Gav’s knees and started to unfasten his pants.

Gavin propped himself up on his elbow and ran a hand gently through TC’s hair. It was so soft. 

He continued to run his fingers through the man’s beautiful blond hair, he couldn’t stop himself, but he spoke quietly, “Tris… You don’t have to if you don’t want…” It was difficult to say it… Gav _really_ wanted him to. _So badly._ But he didn’t want him to feel obligated or do it out of pity.

“I never do things I don’t want to do…” He grinned as he tugged Gavin’s pants down over his knees then started touching him gently. “Thought you knew me better than that.” 

He was about to say something. Probably something stupid. But it immediately vanished as he watched Tristan put his mouth on his cock. 

Gavin lowered himself back down on the bed and scooted his ass close to the edge as Tristan used a hand to push his pants further down to his boots so he could spread his knees wider. 

TC stopped for a moment and removed his hand and Gav raised his head in slight concern. Was he going to pull away? _Please don’t stop…_

The man reached up and grabbed a pillow off the bed and stuffed it under his knees on the floor with a grin... Then nestled himself between Gavin’s thighs as close as he could manage once again. 

He was gentle at first, but a little impatient. Tristan seemed like he was used to things being quick, so that was what he did. His gentle tongue swipes and hand movements soon turned into hot wet sucking and a firm grip. 

And Gav loved every minute of it. 

He tried to keep his hands off TC’s head, for fear it’d upset him, but he couldn’t help it and soon found himself caressing him, tangling his fingers through his impossibly soft hair as he moved. 

He also tried to keep quiet and failed pretty miserably at that, too. 

It only worked to encourage Tristan to continue what movement he’d done to make that sound… Which made Gav louder. He pulled a small decorative pillow close and bit down on the corner of it as he felt his muscles start to tighten to a breaking point which he couldn't contain.

He reached down and tapped TC on the side of his head to get him to stop. 

Gav bit the pillow again as the man continued for a moment, then pulled his head back and finished him off by hand. He spilled against his own abdomen in a couple thick waves, tilting his head back and moaning loudly into the pillow as he did. He may have cussed… Or called out Tristan’s name… Or made some incoherent wordless sounds… He couldn’t be sure. 

Gavin let out a long deep breath against the pillow then dropped it to the side and stared at the ceiling for a moment then closed his eyes. 

He felt Tristan get up and move away and he was suddenly a little sad. _Was he going to leave now like always?_ He didn’t really want to sit up and look. He heard him rummage the dresser for a few seconds, then he felt TC sit down on the bed beside him.

Gav opened his eyes and he was there… Smiling. 

“Damn. You’re messy.” He reached down with some article of clothing he’d pulled from the dresser and wiped Gav’s skin clean then tossed it on the floor. 

“Mm,” was all Gav managed to say as he smiled stupidly at Tris.

After he had come back to his right mind, Gavin propped himself up on an elbow and looked at TC with a grin. “Your turn.”

He snorted quietly and shook his head, “I’ve had plenty of turns. This one is all yours.” He laid down on his back close to Gavin and folded his hands over his abdomen. A clear sign that read the man meant what he said, but he was visibly aroused.

“You sure? I hear you really like getting your dick sucked…” 

Tristan shook his head then turned to look at Gav, “said I was going to stop being such an ass to you. Meant it.” 

Gavin blinked at him. He kind of wanted to argue… Because he wanted to return the favor. But it wasn’t a _‘favor’_ to return. TC was working to show him his better side and pressing the issue would take away from the earnest gesture. 

So, instead, Gavin carefully laid down beside him, tried to work his pants up while still being near Tris, then gave up and got comfortable with his pants around his upper thighs. After a moment, Gav carefully put a hand on Tristan’s chest, watching his face to gauge his response. He didn’t seem to mind. 

Instead of moving away or making a face at him, TC reached up and put his hand gently on top of Gavin’s.

They lay like that for a few minutes then Tristan spoke quietly at the ceiling, “I didn’t mean to kiss you.” 

Gav opened his eyes and remained silent as TC gathered his thoughts. 

“In the Dugout. That first time. Or the second time. Or any time.” He turned his head and looked Gavin’s face over, pausing to gaze into his eyes. “But I couldn’t help it.” He turned back to staring at the ceiling. “Kissing is… Something intimate. More than sex. More than anything. I didn’t mean to do it because I knew I’d get attached. But I just… Can’t help it with you.”

Gavin thought back to the first time they kissed. How timid he had been, then how passionate… Then how he pulled away and had been irritated. That was why.

“You’re right about my bullshit behavior. I’ve been working pretty hard to keep you close and push you away at the same time… It was pretty shitty of me and I’m sorry for that.” 

He wanted to say something. Ease the man’s mind. But Tristan needed the silence to work through what he needed to say. So Gavin pressed his hand firmly against TC’s chest and curled his fingers a little as a comforting gesture. 

Tristan squeezed his hand in response and continued, “I’ve never actually kissed a man before.” He snorted a little chuckle then gave a half shrug at that thought.

Gav frowned a little. 

TC turned his head to look at him again and nodded, “yeah… So you get the idea. The sex I’ve had with men in the past wasn’t exactly… Caring. And sometimes it wasn’t even consensual…” He paused and gave a faint smile, “but all this time with you… I don’t know…You make it easy.” He got quiet as his eyes searched Gavin’s. “Thanks.” He sighed something like a sigh of relief, “thank you for never hurting me or pushing me even after I’ve treated you like shit and thanks for sticking around anyway… Just… You know. Thank you.”  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	7. Yes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He frowned slightly at a thought. “Word travels fast…” It was an almost question.
> 
> “Indeed it does... “ Bailey nodded with a little grin, “we’re a bunch of bored soldiers living together in a tin can.”
> 
> “So… Everyone knows?” Gav asked quietly as he stared out over the dark horizon.
> 
> “Pretty much.”  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - -

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin was standing in the locker room with a towel around his waist while he smirked at his reflection in the mirror. Tristan had, indeed, left quite a mark on his chest. And another just a little lower.

He liked it. _A lot._

He’d never really been marked like that before. There was no way he could… If anyone had ever seen it back then…

Gav touched his fingers lightly to the bright red bruise and was revisited immediately by the vivid memory of Tris between his knees. 

The door opened and two people stepped in, so Gav wiped the stupid look off his face and continued to comb his hair. He glanced over and blinked for a moment as Lucky and Crewe stood there. Sometimes it was still a little odd when women came into the locker rooms or shower area. He didn’t really mind things being shared by everyone, man or woman, but it still threw him off every now and then.

He adjusted the towel and smiled as he turned to face them.

“Wow,” Jess immediately pointed out the mark on his chest, “what in the Waste attacked you?” She laughed.

He glanced down at himself then briefly to TC and shrugged. He worked pretty diligently on not blushing or grinning at Tristan like a fucking moron. 

Crewe stepped up beside him, tilted his head and looked at his handiwork, then turned to her and smiled, “his boyfriend mauled him… It was messy.”

Then Gav _did_ grin like a fucking moron. He stared at TC in a slight stupor. 

“Boyfriend, huh?” Jess put a hand on her hip, cocked her head to the side, then a slow smile crossed her lips. 

Gavin was still staring at the man. “... Yes?”

Tristan turned to him and smiled, “yes.” 

“Well… Looks like I’m a pretty damn good wingman after all,” she smirked at Gav.

“Jess,” he sighed. He couldn’t even be surprised at her blurting shit out anymore. 

TC chuckled, “she’s not half bad.” 

She crossed her arms, “pretty sure if it weren’t for me he’d still be a chicken shit with a hardon and no boyfriend.”

Gavin snorted, “thank you, Jess.”

“You’re welcome,” she dropped her arms and flashed him a smug look. 

“Remind me to repay the favor one day.” 

“Yeah right,” she waved a hand at him, “I’m not interested so good luck with that.” 

Gavin put an arm around Tristan’s waist to pull him closer, now that he felt like that was a thing he could do. 

The man eased against him and put his arm around Gavin’s waist in return. He leaned his head against Gavin’s and spoke quietly, “don’t thank her just yet… I’m working on it… But I’m still an asshole.” 

Then he slid his thumb under Gavin’s towel and pulled it off to let it drop to the floor. 

Gav immediately covered himself with a hand, which didn’t really do too much for it.

Jess dropped her eyes then pulled her attention elsewhere, “I just remembered I have shit to do… Far the fuck away from here.” She hesitated for a very brief moment, then turned around and left the locker room.

TC laughed. 

Gavin watched her go then turned his head to the man, “you suck.”

“You’d know.”

Gav bit his lip to hold back the grin. Failed. 

After a moment, Tris pulled away from him, but didn’t go far. “So… I need a shower and could really use some help.”

“I just got out of the shower…” 

TC reached up and wiped his finger along the top of the mirror, then smudged a stripe of black dust across his chest.

“You missed a spot.” 

He laughed and looked down at himself, “well, shit. Looks like I did.” 

Gavin reached out and started unbuttoning Tristan’s shirt. As his hands worked, the man leaned forward and kissed him without any hesitation. He shrugged off the material and put his hands immediately back on Gav. 

He ran his hands slowly up TC’s sides, pulling his tight white undershirt up as he did. As he revealed more skin, Tristan pressed it against him until they were chest to chest and they had to break from passionate kissing as the shirt went over his head and then onto the floor. 

Their kissing started to get more heated as Gavin worked on the man’s pants, Tristan pressing against him and making it a little difficult. Gav didn’t mind. His hands continually paused as he got lost in the feel of Tristan’s mouth. His soft lips and his tongue playing gently against his own… Tasting faintly of candy. 

TC spoke quietly against Gavin’s mouth, “about to say fuck it… And take a shower in half my clothes…”

Gav realized his hands had been still against the man’s pants just shy of pushing them down. “Sorry…” He mumbled back against his lips. He’d have to move away for Tris to get out of the rest of his clothes… And Gavin didn’t want to break any of the contact with him. 

Tristan was the one who stepped away and cool air immediately rushed over Gavin’s chest. The man moved down, pushing his own pants along his thighs with the movement, and he paused briefly to press his lips firmly against the bright red mark on the top of his chest… Then the lower one. Then his mouth went to Gav’s nipple just below it and he sucked gently, ran his tongue over the hard flesh, then continued his way down to sit on the bench with his pants halfway around his calves.

Gavin followed him and knelt down, still trying to be as close as possible while the man worked to unlace a boot. Gav kissed his shoulder as he bent forward and his hands fumbled to work on TC’s other boot. He trailed kisses and light nips along his shoulder up to his neck where he paused and slowly ran his teeth along the skin there. Pushing his tongue out against the man’s goosebumped flesh then sucking into a little bite until Tristan fell still and let out a quiet sound. 

“You’re making it hard…” TC spoke breathily, “to get my clothes off.” 

“Mm-hmm,” Gavin deeply purred against his ear. 

He kicked off the one boot he’d been working on then leaned back away from Gavin to let him finish with the other. Tristan ran his hand through Gav’s hair gently, but in a firm way to keep him at his task without stopping to pounce on the man. It was difficult. 

TC kicked off the other boot and Gavin wasted no time in taking his pants the rest of the way off and tossing them and his socks to the side to litter the floor with the rest of his clothes. 

Tristan stood and Gav remained on his knees for a moment, running his hands over the man’s thighs and looking up at him. 

He allowed Gavin to caress his thighs, hips, ass, and hard cock for a short while before he took him by the wrist and urged him to his feet. Immediately Gav went to kiss him.

TC pressed a finger to Gavin’s lips just short of touching his and grinned, “shower.” Then he pulled him into a stall. 

The water was cold and Gav put his back to it to let it get warm before it hit Tristan. He stood there, running his hands through the man’s hair and smiling as he looked into his beautiful jade eyes. 

He smiled back and rested his hands on Gav’s waist. It was like a strange slow dance in a tiny shower stall as they stood like that. Gavin didn’t need to romanticize it in his mind -- It was perfect. 

And he was fully and completely with Tris in that moment, nobody else crossed his thoughts for the first time in a very long while.

Finally, TC’s smile grew bigger and he spoke quietly, “what?”

Gavin shook his head slightly, “you’re gorgeous.”

“I know,” he snorted quietly. “... Not half as much as you, though.”

Before Gav could argue that absurd statement, Tris cut him off with a single, slow tender kiss. Then pulled away to reposition the both of them so he was under the shower head to get his hair wet.

As Gav stood behind him, running his hands over TC’s back, he wondered how far he could go with the man. He might call himself ‘boyfriend’ and display passionate desire, but he was probably still a little apprehensive about certain things. He had to be. Gavin had never asked him about how sex went between him and other men, there was no way he could bring that up, especially after the things he had said about it before. It’d upset him. He knew what he _wanted_ to do with Tristan, but he couldn’t be certain if that’s what he’d be into or not. 

Tris was both dominating and submissive all at once somehow. Gavin had always been on top with other men, but how was he supposed to bring that up with this man in his arms while still trying to give him space and not freak him out?

Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. There may not even come a point where they have sex. Could Gav live with that? He wasn’t sure if he could in the long run… But right here and now, his main focus was making Tristan feel safe. 

TC soaped his hair and started washing it, then Gavin’s hands went over the tops of his until he dropped his arms and let Gavin do it for him. 

He let out a quiet hum of appreciation as Gavin worked. “I could get used to this…” Then he slowly reached his hands behind him and found Gav’s cock. 

“Yeah…” Gavin nearly whispered as he smiled, “me too…”

Bubbles ran down the small space between them along TC’s back, then over Gav’s chest as he pressed against him. Tristan moved his hand slowly. He was standing so close that the head of his cock rubbed against one side of the man’s ass with every stroke of his firm soapy grip. 

Gavin closed his eyes and his hands slid from Tristan’s head down to his shoulders then upper arms where he paused and held on firmly. He focused on the feeling of the man’s muscles moving under his palms. He desperately wanted to fuck him but couldn’t quite tell if what he was doing was an invitation. 

So he stood there struggling with his desire for a moment before trying to distract it by something he knew would be okay. His hands moved down TC’s chest where he could reach and he smoothed soap over his skin, then back up over his shoulders, arms, back… Gav let out a quiet moan as his hands moved around Tristan’s slim waist, tight abdomen, hips… Then he gripped him in one hand as Tris was doing with him. 

Gavin pressed his forehead against TC’s shoulder and made a sound. Louder. Tristan turned around to face him, then they both wordlessly continued what they had been doing, but this time pressed closer together to rub up against one another as they did. 

The way TC’s hands moved captivated Gavin. He had always had a fascination with the man’s hands. When he spoke. When he worked. When he touched him… 

He nestled his head against Tristan’s shoulder and neck and made sounds against his skin. Felt the man’s free hand run up his back onto his shoulder and grip tightly as he moaned and moved faster. Started rocking his hips… Rubbing up against Gav’s hip and more desperately against his hand. Tris leaned heavily against him and pressed Gavin’s back to the corner of the stall, not losing an inch of the close contact as they moved. 

Gavin let out a soft whimper and bit the man’s neck then found himself whispering against his skin, “don’t stop…” 

Then he mumbled the man’s name and felt him release against his hip. Hot. Gav moaned louder, clutched at his shoulders, and spilled in Tristan’s hand and over his thigh. 

They stayed like that for a few moments. Close together. Gavin’s face nestled against Tristan’s neck. Touching lightly. 

“The water’s cold…” TC spoke quietly and brought Gavin out of his reverie. 

Gav blinked a couple times as the words registered then he chuckled. “Sorry.” He reluctantly nudged Tris away and slipped out from between him and the wall. 

He picked his towel up off the floor and started to dry himself as TC rinsed off in the cold shower. 

The door opened.

Danse stepped into the locker room and paused when he saw Gav standing there. 

“Sir.” Gavin smiled at him and made no real attempt to hide his nakedness from the man. 

“Knight.” It didn’t seem to really faze him. What he did give a slight pause at… Was the marks on Gavin’s chest. Danse looked down at the floor and moved further into the room, then gave pause once more at the clothes scattered around.

Then TC stepped out of the shower. 

Tristan grinned as he pulled a towel from the shelf and stepped close to Gav. 

“Sir,” he finally said quietly. 

Danse hesitated for a moment as he stared at the two of them. “Knight…” 

Then the man looked away and brushed past the two of them to a restroom stall in the adjoining room. 

Gavin felt bad for some reason. He wasn’t quite sure why. Then TC leaned in and bit his collarbone hard enough to probably leave another light mark and Gav smiled.

“You’re going to need another shower if you keep that up.”

Tris pulled back and shrugged, “that’s fine. So long as the water warms up first.”

“As much as I’d love to live in the shower with you…” Gavin chuckled, “we got shit to do.” Tris opened his mouth and Gav added, “that doesn’t involve doing each other.”

“Pity,” He sighed as collected his clothes from the floor.

Gav got dressed then paused in front of the mirror before pulling his t-shirt on. TC did leave a new mark on his collarbone. Right near the edge where it could possibly be seen from under a shirt. He smiled at it, then the look melted away into a little frown. 

He was pretty sure that mark had been made out of possessive jealousy. Were the other ones the same?

He pulled his shirt down, ran his hands through his hair, then turned to walk out of the locker room beside Tristan.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - 

****

Bailey sat down on a lawn chair next to Gavin’s and spoke quietly as he leaned his rifle against the low wall of the rooftop, “so you and TC, huh?”

Gav stared at Jon for a few seconds then smiled and gave a nod. He liked that he was able to be open about it. Felt good to have people know and not have to hide. 

Then he frowned slightly at a thought. “Word travels fast…” It was an almost question.

“Indeed it does... “ Bailey nodded with a little grin, “we’re a bunch of bored soldiers living together in a tin can.”

“So… Everyone knows?” Gav asked quietly as he stared out over the dark horizon.

“Pretty much.” 

Gavin hesitated. “Jordyn?”

“Well…” Jon snorted, “Jessy told me so I imagine so. Those two talk about everything.”

“Everything?” Gavin chewed his lip for a moment. She probably told Aleski right from the start and Jordyn never said anything. She must not mind. If she did, the woman never let on about it. They still hung out together and she was the same smiling joking Knight she’d always been around him.

After a long pause, Gav lowered his voice, “Danse?”

Bailey shrugged, “yeah. Why do you think you’ve been separated from patrolling the same times as TC?” He flashed a smile, “so now you get to enjoy my company. I know I’m not half as entertaining as your boyfriend, but you’ll have to make due.”

He thought about that. Ever since Danse walked in on them in the locker room together, he and TC had been made to work opposite shifts and keep busy far away from one another. Their relationship wasn’t hindering ops, there shouldn’t be a reason to separate them like that. _Was Danse angry?_

He had told him to stay away from Crewe and now here he was in a relationship with the man. Yeah… Danse was probably mad. 

“So you were married…” Jon broke his thoughts, “to a woman.”

Gav nodded.

“And you had a boyfriend?” Bailey furrowed his brow. 

“Not at the same time,” he shrugged. “I was with Sebastian in the War…” He thought about it. “I was betrothed at the time, though.”

“You were betrothed…” He paused, “did she know about your boyfriend?”

Gavin chewed his lip. “Not for a while. I told her later.” It hadn’t been because he was ashamed or anything… He just had a difficult time talking about that stuff with Nora. Or anyone, for that matter. 

“She was cool with it?” Jon didn’t speak with accusation, just curiosity.

Gav shrugged again, “I guess. She didn’t seem mad.” He stared out across the moonlit landscape as he recalled how that conversation had gone. “She was more sad than anything. For me. I think it’s why she didn’t mind too much when I fucked around with guys sometimes.” He looked at Jon, “I always came home to her though. That shit with guys was meaningless sex.”

Bailey nodded in silent understanding.

“Why?” Gav eyed him. It was a strange thing to bring up out of the blue.

“Relationships like that are more common now than they used to be. You can probably understand why. Monogamy is harder to find.” He smiled, “I’m in a monogamous relationship. But sometimes I wonder. I’d never cheat, though.”

“I didn’t cheat,” Gavin immediately defended himself. “We both discussed it and it was an agreement--”

“It’s cool. I get it,” Bailey held a hand out toward him, “you’re actually more normal around here than you even realize.”

They were silent for a while as they both went back to watching the land.

Then Jon spoke quietly, “TC is the monogamous type though. Just so you know.”

Gavin eyed him then gave a slow nod. That’s why he had brought it up. 

Again, Gav found himself wondering if he could have a long-term relationship with Tris without sex. Tristan believed kissing to be the ultimate show of love and passion, but Gavin didn’t. He needed physical, sexual, shows of that affection. He could easily separate sex, fucking, and making love into different categories… And he needed the lovemaking. He needed intimate moments of cuddling, holding hands, and deep meaningful conversation. 

All things Tristan didn't really seem to be into.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - 

****

“Hey, Al…” Gav smiled and gave a little wave to the woman.

“S’up?” She smiled in return so Gavin sat down at the breakroom table across from her.

He wanted to talk to her about Tris, but now that he sat there with her, he had no idea how to even begin. Or if he should even bother. 

“What are you reading?” He motioned to the book she had closed when he approached.

Jordyn held it up and smiled, “Hamlet.”

He chuckled and she snorted a laugh along with him. 

“Speaking of which,” Gav leaned back in the chair and pointed a finger at her, “been thinking about what to name my armor.”

“Oh yeah?” She raised an eyebrow, “something from Hamlet?”

He shook his head, “no… Arthurian Legend.”

“Outstanding!” She sat up straight with interest.

“Gringolet.” 

Aleski furrowed her brow in thought, “I’m not sure I know that name…”

Gavin smiled faintly, “it was the name of Sir Gawain’s horse.”

She gave him a look, “you named it after a Knight’s horse? And here I thought I was well versed in King Arthur stuff… How did you even know that?”

He shrugged, “I had a horse named Gringolet. I didn’t name him, though, so I wanted to know about the name. Looked into it.”

She stared at him for a very long moment.

“What? Yeah, I know… Horses aren’t a thing anymore. Which sucks because I really miss--”

“Gavin,” she leaned closer to him and continued to stare dumbly, “do you even realize how fucking ridiculous that is?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, “no. My family raised horses… I had a horse.”

“No.” She suddenly started laughing, “your fucking name is Gavin!” 

He blinked at her, thoroughly confused.

Al continued to laugh, “your name is Gavin and you had a goddamn horse named Gringolet!” She slapped the table with her palm to calm herself down, “your name is a variant of the name Gawain, you dumb fuck. How don’t you know that but you know the name of a literary horse?”

Her laughter got louder and she pointed, “you’re literally Knight Gawain! This is awesome!”

Gavin stared stupidly, blinked a couple times, then started laughing right along with her. 

After they had collected themselves, she wiped her eyes and nodded, “yeah. Gringolet is a perfect name.” 

She leaned back in her chair and got more comfortable then eyed Gav for a moment, “wanna know something more funny?”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Tristan.” 

Gavin’s smile faltered a little.

“Knight Tristan,” she continued, “is one of my favorite Knights Of the Round Table. Him and Gawain.” She looked down at the table and gave a little snort of laughter, shook her head, then leaned closer, “there’s a really long series of stories that were written about Sir Tristan. They’re romance. A little guilty pleasure of mine. I love romance novels.” 

She glanced around the breakroom and lowered her voice, “some people write their own stories based off things that exist already. Fans of the famous work. Sometimes plays, or recordings, radio shows, or books… I read this story written by some nobody person once…” Aleski grinned, “it was about Gawain and Tristan.” She eyed him, “together.”

He blinked at her, unsure of what to say. 

Jordyn leaned back in her seat, “what do you think of that?”

After a moment he found his voice, “I think I’d like to read that story.”

“yeah, you would. It was pretty hot.” 

“How’d it end?” 

Al shrugged, “same way some of Tristan’s other stories ended in certain legends… He gets stabbed in the back.”

Gavin stared at her.

“What? You asked.” She folded her hands over her book on the table, “how’s it going so far?”

“Not bad…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to upset her.

She nodded, “give it a minute. He’ll fuck it up.”

“Jordyn… I think he feels kind of shitty about the way he treated you.” 

“Good,” she snorted.

“He was the same to me…” The words left his mouth before he could stop himself. He wasn’t sure why he even said that.

She eyed him, “he treated you like shit so you thought it’d be cool to be his boyfriend? What’s your foreplay like?”

“There is no foreplay…” Gavin snapped his mouth closed and clenched his teeth. He didn’t want to start an argument with her. 

After a moment she sighed, “sorry. I’m just pissy.” She shook her head, “not at you.” Jordyn stared down at her hands, “I just wish I could have gotten through to him at some point.” Her eyes went to his and she smiled faintly, “hopefully you can. He deserves good things in his life. I’m honestly happy for him… Not as happy for you if he doesn’t treat you right… But I hope you can knock some sense into his stubborn ass. Perhaps he’ll open up to you more and relate because you’re both men.”

Gavin nodded, “that’s the hope.”  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... If you don't know... Gavin DOES end up paying Jess back for her awesome wingman skills and he sets her up with Maxson. It's a fun ride. [Getting Lucky](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7078312/chapters/16089169) takes place probably a year after this story.


	8. Doing Inventory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do realize, prostitutes are cheaper than me. And you can get into their pants a hell of a lot quicker.” 
> 
> “I like hanging out with you.” Gavin shrugged, “I’m not expecting sex from you just because I do something nice. I just want you to have a good time.”
> 
> Tristan cocked his head and eyed Gav, “we can do all these things as friends… It’s the sexy stuff that defines the whole _‘significant other’_ deal.” 
> 
> “Your significant other should be your friend above all else.”  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****

Gavin found himself down in the storage room doing boring storage shit one day and he figured he’d make the most of it… So he sought out Knight Lucia again.

She was one of the people he had talked into some quick sex hidden in the back of the storage room one day, but that’s not exactly what was on his mind right at the moment. He was just looking for a way out of the utter boredom of doing inventory. 

Inventory was the worst. 

Nothing was ever interesting about it. Things didn’t generally go missing or need to be shot, so Gavin was mindless about the work. Sometimes he would just write numbers down without checking. Most people did. So long as all the munitions were always accounted for, nobody really cared. 

“Anyone ever tell you that you make this look really work?” Gav grinned at Lucia. 

She snorted, “I look like everyone else… But thanks.” She raised an eyebrow, “you, on the other hand, could wear a sack and look great.”

Gavin straightened up and spread his hands, “so long as the sack is on my head, I think I’d do good.” 

She giggled, “whatever. You know you’re good looking so shut up.”

He grinned at her, working a little extra hard on making it one of those special ‘knee trembling’ looks. 

“Stop that,” she waved at him but blushed lightly. 

He chuckled and turned back to doing inventory. He felt triumphant for the moment. 

He wrote some numbers down then turned to her, “this is… Asinine.” There really was no need to point out the obvious, but he did so anyway in hopes to strike up a conversation. 

“You’re tellin’ me!” She laughed lightly, “I do this all day pretty much every day!”

“How do you even live?!” Gav joked. 

“Well… It helps when I have a really sexy helper…” She grinned and took a step closer. 

Gavin feigned ignorance and pointed to himself, “me?”

“Yes… You.” She moved closer. 

He waved a hand at her, “I’m not.” Gavin turned from her to write something down. 

He wasn’t looking to get with Lucia, he was just happy to flirt. Ever since Tristan basically claimed Gavin as _‘his’,_ he had only really thought about being with him. But he was still really fucking horny. He remembered what Bailey had said about Tristan being monogamous. If that’s how TC was, then that’s how Gav would need to be. It was difficult. 

But not impossible. 

He grinned to himself as he imagined bringing Tris down to the storage room and fucking him on top of crates in the back. Damn… That’d be hot. 

He stood there staring through the shelf to the other side where a bunch of crates were piled up in a corner. He imagined Tristan bent over them. 

He was suddenly brought out of his reverie when Lucia laid a hand on his arm and spoke softly, “Gavil is on break…”

Had she been speaking to him? Gav shook his head and smiled at her, “I would love to take full advantage of that, but--”

“S’up, kids?” Crewe peeked around the corner of the shelf, grinning.

Gavin pointed to him, “but I have…” 

He didn’t know what to say. _A boyfriend?_ Probably would have worked. Gav wasn’t quite thinking clearly enough to say it. He should have. He immediately berated himself as he moved closer to Tris and kissed him on the cheek to show what he meant. He hoped that worked. 

Lucia smiled and glanced down at her feet, gave a little nod, then walked away. 

“What’s up with that?” Tristan cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. It was very accusatory. 

Gav shrugged, “nothing. Inventory.” He smiled, “boring shit. You know.” He didn’t think much of anything else. 

But Tristan must have. He regarded Gavin silently for a moment then pulled him close and kissed him deeply. 

“I got shit done early… Wanna take a break?” TC grinned mischievously. His sparkling eyes and dimples were definitely a weakness for Gav.

He looked down at his clipboard. He was nowhere near being done. And nowhere near being able to take a break. 

“Absofuckingloutly.” Gavin grinned back and tossed the clipboard on a shelf. 

Tris leaned in and kissed him again and Gavin mumbled against his mouth, “I hear Gavil is on break…”

“Mmm… Fifteen minutes?” Tristan mumbled back against him. 

Gavin nodded and started moving him toward the far back corner where it was darker. 

As soon as they got there, Tris pulled back. 

“So… You mad that I’m not a chick?”

“What?” Gavin furrowed his brow. “No…” Was he mad about Lucia?

Tristan glanced down at himself, “I mean, I don’t have tits or anything, but this body is still pretty--”

“Fucking amazing,” Gavin finished… A little more angrily than he had meant to. 

TC grinned and wrapped his arms around Gavin’s shoulders. He must have liked the reply. 

“Tris…” Gav said carefully, “I really want to be with you. With… YOU.” He raised an eyebrow and hoped that sunk in the right way. 

“Hot,” was all he said. 

That didn’t help. It gave Gavin no insight to how he felt about sex or anything, one way or another. But Gav still found himself grinning like an idiot at the reply then enjoying the feeling of Tristan’s lips on his neck. 

He urged TC closer to the crates in the corner then pushed him against them carefully, working to gauge his response. He seemed really into it. So Gavin leaned over him and continued to kiss him. Fuck, he loved the kissing. So much. Tris was so good at it. And he always tasted sweet. He pressed up against the man as he leaned back on the crates.

Gavin could feel TC’s slight arousal and it only spurred him further. He ground his hips against Tristan, trying to relieve his own ache through friction. 

“I take it you missed me?” He said coyly as his hands worked to unfasten Gavin’s pants. 

“Mmm…” He purred against the man’s neck with a slight nod, “I always miss you…” 

And wasn’t that the cold hard truth?

Every moment spent away from him, Gav counted minutes until he could touch him again. He wondered if Tris felt the same way. He didn’t really seem to. Everything they did was always on TC’s time. Whenever he wanted it. Whenever he felt the need. Sometimes Gav would approach him, but if Tris was busy with other shit, he didn’t seem to care to drop what he was doing at the moment…

So… Everything was on TC’s time. That made Gavin crazy for him. 

One of the neat things about getting with men, Gav had found in the past, was that they were easy. They didn’t require the same level of courtship a female did most times. Everyone was different, of course, but it seemed like Gavin could just tell a man _‘hey, let’s fuck’_ and that would be the end of courtship, in most cases. 

Tristan… Was very different. 

He acted more like a female. Or, at least, the civilian women Gavin had worked to get with in the past. 

That’s why he sought out men more often than women for quick sex. 

One reason, anyway. 

But TC was definitely worth the trouble in Gavin’s mind. He found that he really wanted to make Tris happy and feel good. He wanted to spend any amount of time with him. 

And the sexual moments… Were the best. 

Gav paused and closed his eyes as Tristan reached into his pants to touch him. His hands were so strong, but somehow delicate and nimble. His fingertips played along Gavin’s skin until he was fully erect and grinding against his hand and thigh. He thought about the time in the apartment complex with Tris between his knees. And he thought about the time in the shower. He thought about a hopeful future where he could fuck TC… Hopefully in a loving manner. 

“Tris…” Gav moaned quietly against his neck, “I really want you…” He was still trying to figure out how to approach the subject. 

“I want you, too…” He pulled back slightly to look into Gavin’s blue-gray eyes and smile. 

Gav paused. Were they on the same page, finally? 

“How do you want me?” Gav cocked his head and grinned slightly. Hopefully. 

He gave a little shrug, his hand never pausing in movement, “naked.” 

“Tris…” Gavin groaned out the name. Partially out of frustration…

He only chuckled and kissed him in reply. 

Tristan was very perceptive. That fact finally sunk into Gav’s head. He had to have known what Gavin was getting at. All this damn time. Was TC afraid? Apprehensive? Or just not into actual sex? 

“Tristan... “ Gavin whispered breathily against him. He couldn’t even find the words to continue his thoughts at the moment. 

“Uh-huh…” Tris purred against his neck in response… But said nothing else as his hand moved faster. 

Suddenly a deep voice from down the rows of shelves boomed out angrily, “Knights!!” 

Gavin jerked back away from Tristan, which was somewhat of a mistake since the man had a firm grip on his dick at the time. 

“Sir!” Gav tried to adjust his pants, but the hardon made it extremely difficult. 

Tristan remained lounging back against the crates and gave a little wave to Danse with the hand that had been on Gavin’s cock, “Sir…” He grinned rather smugly. 

“Don’t you two have work you should be doing?” Danse didn’t move any closer, but he crossed his arms over his chest angrily from the distance. 

Gav looked away sheepishly and rubbed a hand over the back of his head. 

Tristan pushed himself up from the crates and shrugged, “not really, no.” Another little flash of a smirk, “I’m pretty effective when I put my mind to something.” 

“I see that,” Danse spoke curtly… Then suddenly corrected himself, “I know you’re good at your work.” He pointed toward the back of the airport and corrected further, “with explosives. And other--” He cut himself off with an angry shake of his head, “do I need to find you something to do?”

Tristan motioned toward Gav, “I have something to do, Sir.”

Danse narrowed his eyes dangerously and suddenly TC lowered his head and slunk away from the crates and Gavin to stand closer to the Paladin.

He took a breath and nodded, “thank you, Sir. I’m sure I can find some work that needs to be done…” And he stood very still, waiting to be dismissed. 

Gavin just stared at the two of them. Tris was bold sometimes but generally knew where lines were that he should never cross. 

Danse glared at Tristan for a moment then gave a curt nod, “then get to it, Knight.”

And, with that, Tris nodded and left. 

And then Gavin was standing there alone with the Paladin. 

“I was… Um...” Gav glanced around then pointed to the shelf where he had left his clipboard, “doing inventory…”

“Kidd…” Danse sighed and dropped his arms, “do not allow things like this…” He motioned after TC, “to hinder your work ethic.”

“I um…” Gavin glanced toward the back door where TC had retreated, “yes, Sir.” 

Yeah… _‘Yes, Sir.’_ Gavin _wanted_ to comply… But he had a very hedonistic nature. He knew if Tris came back around he’d jump on the chance to get with him. Pun intended in every way possible. He was still hard and thinking about the man, even as he was being chastised by the Paladin. It was a strange conundrum. 

Danse did well to look him in the eye, “Kidd…”

“Gavin…” He smiled, “you can call me Gavin…” It was more familiar. More friendly. Didn’t sound so much like being yelled at.

He blinked a couple times then gave a nod, “Gavin… You have the makings of an exceptional Brotherhood soldier.” He raised an eyebrow, “I don’t want to see you influenced by… The wrong people.”

He eyed the door for a second and gave a shrug, “you said it takes all kinds of people to form the Brotherhood…”

“Kells said that and I quoted him,” Danse leveled his gaze.

“Doesn’t make it any less true… Right?” Gav asked carefully. 

After a handful of seconds, Danse gave a small nod, “I have found that to deny a soldier of their personality, much of their ability can suffer.” He pointed at Gav, “however, soldiers need to fall in line and follow regulations or the squad and even the Brotherhood as a whole can suffer.”

“Yes, Sir…” Gav spoke quietly. Then he cocked his head to the side, “are you… Mad at me?”

He regarded Gavin silently for a moment then shook his head, “no. Why would I be angry with you?”

“You… Told me to stay away from Crewe…” Gav said carefully.

Danse sighed, “part of me knew you wouldn’t. He’s very… Alluring.” Then he redacted, “his behavior can be enthralling.” He lowered his voice, “and I understand that he’s attractive.”

Gavin smiled. He couldn’t help it. “You think he’s hot?” Maybe that’s why Danse was upset… Did he like TC?

“He’s very…” Danse cleared his throat, “good looking, yes.” His cheeks reddened only slightly as he ran a hand over the back of his neck, “he’s not my type, however.” 

“What’s your type?” Gav leaned closer.

“Not Crewe,” he replied curtly. 

Gav recalled the time Bailey said Crewe wasn’t his type either. “Is it because he has a dick?” He grinned. 

Then Danse’s cheeks flushed further. 

“No.” 

Gavin very nearly asked, out loud, if the Paladin liked butt-stuff. He worked to swallow down laughter at that. _Dammit, Jess._

Danse lowered his voice even further, “I prefer someone I can have a meaningful relationship with. Crewe is not that type.”

Gav blinked. “No… He isn’t, really.”

“That’s fine for some people,” Danse motioned to Gavin, “but not me.”

That hurt a little. 

“I prefer meaningful relationships.” 

Danse furrowed his brow, “then why are you with Crewe allowing him to get you in trouble when you could be with… Someone else?”

“I like him,” Gav shrugged. He really had no other way to reply. 

“Is it _him_ you like, or the _idea_ of him?” 

Gavin stared stupidly at the Paladin. “I like… _Him.”_ He furrowed his brow and stared at the ground for a moment as he thought about it. He really did like Tris. He was a good friend. Good soldier. They worked well together and had a lot of fun in their downtime... But whenever Gavin wanted meaningful intimacy or relationship talk, Tristan was not _‘that guy’._

“You don’t sound too sure.” 

“I’m not, I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, “I haven’t…” He dropped his hand, “I haven’t gotten over the loss of… Someone…” He shrugged, “working on it.”

“I understand how you feel. I lost someone very important to me, too. It’s been a few years now and I’m still not completely over the loss.” 

Gav nodded, “I thought finding someone new might help.”

“It very well could, if you find the right person.” A little distant smile crossed his lips, “I haven’t found the right person yet, and maybe you haven’t either… But that’s not to say they don’t exist.”

He looked down at the floor again and gave another nod, “yeah. Guess I’ll just keep working on that.”

Danse moved closer and set a hand on Gavin’s shoulder, forcing him to look up into the Paladin’s brown eyes. “While you’re working to figure it out, try to stay out of trouble.”  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - -

****

Gavin was standing with Jess and Knight Jensen, talking and laughing, when Tristan approached.

He stepped between Gav and Jensen, forcing her to move away to the side. Then he put an arm around Gavin, just as he had done with Jordyn in the past.

Lucky grinned, “I was just talking about you.”

“Of course you were, that’s a great topic,” TC shrugged. 

Gav smiled at him. The man’s arrogance was somewhat of a strange turn on at times. It really shouldn’t be, but Gavin was enamored by it. He wondered how much of it was just a show. The cocksure men he had known in the past were usually very insecure, even if, like Tristan, they could back up all of their shit talk just fine. 

“What do you wanna do tomorrow night on libby?” Jess asked casually.

“Gavin.” TC grinned then leaned over and kissed his neck.

Gav tried not to stare dumbly at him. Managed this time. He nodded, “sounds good.”

She snorted a laugh, “before that.” 

Jensen pointed at the two of them, “don’t you guys… Do… Other things? Go on dates?”

Jess rolled her eyes, “that’s so civilian.” 

“Why?” TC shrugged, “dates are a waste of time.”

Gavin turned his head and eyed him, “I like dates.”

Tris motioned to Jess, “she’s right, though. Dates are a thing civilians do. Are you a fucking civvy? No.” 

“Dates aren’t a waste of time,” Jensen cocked an eyebrow at him, “it’s how you get to know each other better and spend time one on one… Fully clothed.”

Tristan snorted a laugh, “but one on one time is better done naked.” He looked at Gav, “I know everything I need to know. We live together for fuck’s sake. He sleeps right next to me.” 

Gavin’s smile faded as he stared at TC. 

“What?” Tris stared right back. 

The girls fell silent as the two men regarded one another in a heavy silence for a long moment. 

Tristan dropped his arm from around Gavin’s shoulders and sighed, “you’re acting like Jordyn.” 

Jensen pointed at him, “maybe if you woulda taken her on a date she wouldn’t have--”

He cut her off with a dangerous glare then turned to stand in front of Gavin, “fine, loverboy. You wanna go on a fucking date?” Gavin opened his mouth to reply, probably with some angry words, then Tris crossed his arms and added, “then go date Jordyn. You guys can do some of that theater shit you two love so much.”

“TC! Don’t be an asshat,” Jess reprimanded. 

Gavin took a deep breath and tried to keep his mouth shut. He didn’t want to argue. 

Tristan glanced at Jess then back to Gav, “I already know all about you. I know about your sister. About your ex, Sebastian, who you’re still hung up on, your love of sunsets and theater and romantic flowery shit. Your favorite color is green, your favorite food is medium rare steak, you were discharged from the War because you took a bullet to the back, you value family, integrity, and perseverance, you’re a huge comic book nerd, you were a sniper in the War and guns get you hard… Do you want me to go on? I could do this all fucking day.”

He had no idea Tristan knew all those things about him. Gavin blinked in surprise for a moment then glanced down at the ground, “I can count all the things I know about you on one hand.” 

TC looked at Jensen, then to Jess, then back to Gavin and he lowered his voice, “I don’t like talking about myself. Nothing about me is important.”

“Yes it is,” Gav said quietly and reached out to take his hand. 

He allowed Gavin to pull him closer. “Trust me… It isn’t. You don’t wanna know.”

“Yes I do.” He looked into TC’s eyes and smiled. 

Jess suddenly moved to the side and took Jensen by the arm, “we gotta go… Somewhere.” Then she nudged the Knight away with her to leave the two of them alone. 

Tristan turned his head and watched them go, then turned back to Gav and thumbed over his shoulder, “Jensen’s cute, huh?”

“Don’t change the subject.” 

“I’m not. I’m done with that subject and I started a new one,” he smirked. 

Gav eyed him suspiciously. 

“What?”

“How are you looking for me to respond?” He asked carefully.

“Honestly?” TC raised his eyebrows expectantly. 

“Why?” Gavin was starting to understand a few things now. The reason TC knew so much about him… He played psychological games intended to gather intel through perception. He was very good at them. 

Gavin had a big problem with mindfucks. 

Tristan suddenly dropped his gaze and shrugged, “dunno, still wondering if you’d rather be with a chick is all.”

“Would _you_ rather be with a woman?” 

“Nope.” Tris put his arms up on Gavin’s shoulders and pressed against him, “if I wanted to be with a chick… I would be. But it’d be nice if you’d be more like a guy and not wanna go on a date.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and was about to respond and Tristan chuckled, “but if you really wanna do this date thing… I guess I could give it a try. But don’t expect me to talk about my past…” He cocked an eyebrow. 

Gav nodded in reply as Tris leaned closer and kissed him.

Between kisses, he mumbled against Gavin’s mouth, “what do you wanna do?”

“Food?” He mumbled back.

Tristan moaned against him as an affirmative.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - -

****

Gavin laughed and Tristan shrugged, “what? This is one of the things you know about me.”

“Correct,” Gav nodded, “but I didn’t expect that you’d just order dessert for supper.” 

He shrugged, “life’s short. Eat dessert first.” 

_“All_ of the dessert…” Gavin pointed his fork at the arrangement of plates in front of Tristan. The man had ordered literally everything off the dessert menu. 

“I’m a growing boy,” TC flashed a grin then started shoveling cake in his mouth. 

Gavin smiled as he watched Tris enjoying the sweets. 

Then he frowned, “are you hypoglycemic?” He knew someone who had been discharged from the Army for that.

“I dunno. Probably,” he said around a mouthful. He swallowed and took a drink of water. “If I don’t eat sugar all day long, I get dizzy and shit.” He paused and stared down at a plate, “sometimes I pass out if I don’t get enough sugar…” He glanced up at Gavin, “don’t tell anyone.” 

Gav blinked at him, “Tris… That’s kind of a big deal. And dangerous. Does Cade know?”

Tristan leveled his gaze, “see? This is why I don’t like talking about myself. I don’t need a mommy looking out for me.” He sighed, “and yeah, Cade knows.” He rolled his eyes, “and Maxson, Kells, Jordyn, and Jessy all know. And you now. So don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.” He suddenly snorted, “but if Jess knows it seems like everyone would.”

“Nuh-uh… You’d be surprised how well she can keep a secret. You just have to tell her it’s a secret and not to tell anyone and that girl will take it to the grave.” He grinned.

“Ah, that’s how it works,” Gav nodded to himself. 

When the server came back around, Gavin smiled at Tris, “what do you like to drink?”

“Alcohol,” TC smirked.

“What kind?” Gav rolled his eyes, still smiling.

He shrugged, “moonshine’s good.” 

Gavin ordered it and Tristan stared at him for a moment. Then he smiled and ran a finger in a little circle over the tabletop coyly. “Nobody’s ever wined and dined me before…”

“I kinda figured.” 

“You buy me expensive candy, feed me, buy me top shelf ‘shine…” He grinned impishly, “Gavin Kidd… Are you trying to get into my pants?”

“Shit… You’re onto me,” he chuckled. 

“You do realize, prostitutes are cheaper than me. And you can get into their pants a hell of a lot quicker.” 

“I like hanging out with you,” Gavin shrugged. “I’m not expecting sex from you just because I do something nice. I just want you to have a good time.”

Tristan cocked his head and eyed Gav, “we can do all these things as friends… It’s the sexy stuff that defines the whole _‘significant other’_ deal.” 

“Your significant other should be your friend above all else.” 

Tristan regarded him silently with the little smile remaining on his face as the server returned with a bottle of Bobrov's Best. 

Gavin started filling the two glasses and TC pointed at the bottle, “you afraid I have cooties?” 

“I already have your cooties.” He glanced up as he pushed a glass toward him, “but we don’t always have to be heathens.”

Tris tipped the glass to him, “you’re cute.” Then he swallowed it in two big gulps and held the glass out for more. 

Gavin filled the glasses only one more time before the two of them were sharing the bottle. They moved their chairs closer together and started people watching. 

It turned out that Tristan’s perception skill was off the charts. It became something of a fun game.

TC leaned close and spoke quietly as he motioned to a couple with his chin, “she’s cheating on her husband.” 

“How do you know that?” Gav squinted at the woman to try and figure it out. 

“Her ring finger has a tan line and indentation on it. No ring. She’s hiding it,” he snorted.

“Maybe she’s recently divorced or lost her husband?” 

“You think she got over her spouse so quick and had time to meet and do this whole dating shit a few times over? Those two are pretty familiar with each other…” 

Gavin was buzzed, but not too far faded… He watched the couple interacting. They were definitely familiar with one another. They weren’t talking much, just doing a lot of drinking and touching. 

“What’s up?” Tristan nudged him.

He realized he had been staring at the couple a little too long. Gav looked Tristan’s smiling face over, then put a hand on his jaw and kissed him. 

“Okay… You wanna go get a room?” Tristan grinned against his mouth.

Gavin pulled back a little, glanced around the patio and noticed nobody giving one single fuck about the two men in the corner making out. 

“This is the first date I’ve ever been on with a man…” Gavin smiled faintly, “thank you.” 

“You’re welcome…” Tris looked into his eyes for a moment, then must have started to get uncomfortable with the feelings. He shifted in his seat and finished off the ‘shine. 

“Now we get to do _my_ thing.” He nudged Gavin and stood up with a devious grin.  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

****


	9. My Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He paused for a moment and pulled back to look TC in the eyes, “you…” He tried to shake his mind clear, “you _do_ know the meaning of foreplay…” He chuckled at his own stupidity as Tristan laughed.  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin stepped into the room behind Tristan and paused to stare as the man plopped down in the chair to take his boots off. He just stood there watching him as he thought about the first time they’d been in this very same room together... Tristan naked in that very same chair and Gav on his knees.

He had been, not so, patiently waiting for the time they could be in the room together again, but now that they were there… Gavin felt a little nervous. His eyes went to the bed, then back to Tris. 

A little voice in the back of his head that sounded surprisingly like Jess piped up, _‘just ask him.’_

TC kicked his boots off and raised an eyebrow, “you forget how to take your clothes off? Need help?” He grinned but didn’t get up from the chair. 

Gavin shook off the nervousness. He’d just play it however it goes and be happy all the same. 

He took a few slow steps closer to Tristan and smiled down at him, “do you even know the meaning of the word _‘foreplay’?”_

He shrugged as he sat up straight, reaching to unbutton Gavin’s shirt. “It’s that stuff that happens before sex that makes you crazy…” 

Gav snorted a little laugh and ran his hand through TC’s hair as he worked. “You’re… Not wrong.” 

His hands moved down to Gavin’s pants. “If I’m not mistaken… It involves some,” he grinned up through his lashes at Gav, “touching… Dick sucking… Making out…” 

“Yes...” Gavin nearly whispered as he watched Tris intently. 

“Yes…?” He cocked his head and flashed a coy grin.

_‘Just ask him.’_

“Tris… I want to fuck you,” he spoke quietly. The ‘shine definitely helped with that.

He shrugged, “of course you do…” 

Gavin let out a quiet groan, “would you just…” He took a breath and tried to set aside the frustration, “tell me yes or no? Definitively?”

His hands paused in working Gavin’s clothes off. 

Then Gav was suddenly worried that he upset the man. He didn’t want him to think everything that happened earlier was out of expectation. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“I know you wanna fuck. Trust me.” He was stern with his words, but there was a smile on his face. He nudged Gavin back and stood up. “Sometimes… I get male prostitutes.” He patted Gav’s chest as he moved around him and sat himself down on the bed. 

“Um… Okay…?” That man could be really confusing to figure out sometimes. “I’m not a prostitute…”

“I know,” he pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the floor, “and it was pretty shitty of me to treat you like one before. So… I’m trying to… _Not_ do that. I’m working on it. Hence the date and whatever.”

Gavin sat down in the chair and started unlacing his boots as he tried to work through what Tris just said. He really wished he knew what was going on in the man’s head, but asking him never yielded any results. 

He pulled his boots off and tried to make it sound casual as he asked, “what do you do with them? The guys. The prostitutes.” He was trying not to be too terribly blunt about it. The ‘shine did not help that.

TC moved to the center of the bed and got up on his knees to unfasten his pants, “have you never paid for sex before?” 

Gav thought for a moment then shook his head, “no… But I’ve… Been paid a few times in the past.” He chewed his lip and looked Tristan in the eyes, hoping he wouldn’t judge him too harshly for that.

He shrugged, “then you know.” 

“It was just dick sucking. Handjobs. Nothing else,” Gavin confided since it seemed like Tristan didn’t really care. He had never told anyone about that before.

“Gav…” Tristan smiled, “I got you something.” 

He blinked stupidly at the man as he changed the subject completely. Or rather, completely avoided having any type of deep personal conversation. 

Tris pulled something from his pocket and tossed at it him. 

He caught it and looked the thing over. It was a small bottle with a handmade label. 

“What…?” He furrowed his brow at it. 

“Well,” Tristan continued as he removed his pants, “it’s actually for me more than you… But you get the idea.”

He opened the bottle and sniffed at it then poured some on his fingertips. It was slick. Gavin grinned. He snorted at the bottle as he eyed the label, “what’s this made out of?”

“I don’t fucking know. Plant fibers or some shit. That’s why there’s corn on the label, I assume.” 

“That’s corn? I thought it was a really bad dick drawing…” Gavin capped the bottle and turned it sideways to look at the terrible hand-drawn label.

“Gav…” Tris drawled, “you have a sexy naked man in a bed and you’re over there contemplating bad art…”

He glanced up at Tristan, who was lounging sideways on the bed with his head propped up on one hand. Completely naked. 

He crooked a finger at Gavin, “now get over here and fuck me until I can’t walk right.”

Gavin nearly jumped out of the chair. He tried to be smooth about it, but he just couldn’t quite manage. He tossed the slick on the bed and shrugged out of his shirt, pulled his undershirt off, then almost fell as he hopped out of his pants. TC laughed as he rolled over onto his back and started touching himself lightly. 

He had really meant to be more cool about it. In his dreams, he was confident and suave as he shed his clothes and took Tris… but in reality… He fucked it all up. 

That was reality for you. 

Tristan didn’t seem to care. He was all smiles as Gavin crawled on the bed over the top of the man and started kissing him. 

They tangled their legs together in such a way they could grind against one another’s hips and thighs. They remained like that for a while, kissing, biting at one other’s necks, pressing closely together and moving… Touching. Exploring. 

When Gav moved both legs between TC’s thighs, the man tensed up and whispered against his neck quietly, “don’t… Hurt me.”

Gavin spoke quietly against his shoulder and neck, “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Not in the bad way…” Tris mumbled against him. 

He nodded and continued to bite the man’s neck and lick away the pain. Suck gently against his pulse line, nip his earlobe and skin every so often. He tasted good. Smelled good. Testosterone mixed with a hint of metallic sulfur from his work. It made Gavin want to devour him in the strangest way. 

Gav was beyond excited to finally know what Tris wanted. And he had to have planned for it… He had that bottle of slick… Gavin’s head swam as memories of being with Tristan sexually in the past swirled around. All the touching… Dick sucking… Kissing… 

He paused for a moment and pulled back to look TC in the eyes, “you…” He tried to shake his mind clear, “you _do_ know the meaning of foreplay…” He chuckled at his own stupidity as Tristan laughed. 

“Don’t get butt-hurt I’m better at it than you,” he grinned smugly. 

_“You’re_ about to be butt-hurt…” Gavin growled as he rolled them both over so Tris was straddling his hips. 

TC chuckled and caressed Gav’s chest, “that so?”

“Mm-hmm,” Gavin bit his lip and gave a slow nod.

“We’ll see.” Tris picked up the bottle and poured a good amount onto his palm. It dripped out of his hand onto Gav’s lower abdomen and ran between him and Tristan’s thigh. 

Gav slid his fingers between them and gathered the spilled slick and started rubbing it on TC’s cock as the man sat himself up more on his knees and reached between his legs. Tris ran his slippery hand over his own ass, then over Gavin’s erection. He slowly stroked him a few times, watching Gav’s face intently. 

TC hesitated and Gavin moved a hand between them, slid his middle finger over Tristan’s slickened skin, then made a few small circles around his opening to get him to relax. As soon as he readjusted the way he was sitting and relaxed a little, Gavin gently eased his finger inside to the first knuckle. 

Tris bit his lip and let out a quiet moan. 

“More?” Gav asked quietly.

He nodded and released Gavin’s cock, moving both hands onto Gav’s chest and raised his hips slightly to give him better access. He slowly removed his finger, then pressed inside deeper. Then moved it out again even slower. He repeated the movement until Tristan relaxed more and started making deep throated sounds.

“Good?” Gavin smiled.

“More…” Tris held up two fingers for a second then put his hands back on Gavin’s chest.

He slowly withdrew his finger once more, slid his other fingertips through the slick on Tristan’s ass, then put two fingers together and carefully pressed inside to his second knuckle as best as he could in the position and moved until Tris started rocking his hips lightly against Gav’s hand. 

Gavin reveled in the look on TC’s face as he bit his lip and moaned softly. He started touching himself with one hand, the other still clutching at Gav’s chest, and the sight of the man’s arm and shoulder muscles flexing made Gavin have to close his eyes for a moment. He really wanted to be patient. He wanted it to last a long time. But also wanted to ravage the man. 

TC sat up straight and removed his hand from his cock, “more…” He grinned and took hold of Gavin’s wrist to move it away. 

He licked his lips and ran his hands up Tristan’s thighs as the man reached between them and took ahold of him once again. He adjusted his knees on the bed, took a moment to position himself, then didn’t hesitate this time. 

Tris parted his lips and exhaled deeply as he eased down a little and Gavin had to close his eyes again to avoid getting too excited. He let out a long drawn out moan and leaned his head back as Tristan sunk down and took him deeper. Gavin’s grip on the man’s thighs tightened as Tris moved to adjust to being filled, then he started rocking his hips slowly, relaxing completely until Gavin was fully seated inside him. 

Then he rolled his entire body from his chest down through his hips against Gav in a slow languid motion. 

“Oh… Fuck…” Gavin mouthed as he watched him move. 

He was slow in his movements at first, still adjusting, but he used his entire body with everything he did. Tristan curled his nails against Gavin’s skin as he started moving a little faster, more comfortable with what he was doing. Gav ran his hands over the man’s thighs a couple times then started touching him lightly, mimicking Tristan’s pace. The look of bliss on his face was amazing to behold. 

When Tris started moving faster and making more noises, Gavin began rocking his hips to meet each downward motion until he couldn’t handle it anymore and put an arm around him, rolling them both over so he could take more control. Tristan laughed lightly for a moment then bit his lip and moaned loudly as Gavin started in on him again. Harder. 

By this time, Tristan was fully relaxed and very into what he was doing. Any fears the man had at the start seemed to be completely forgotten in the moment as he controlled the bottom position, guiding Gavin’s pace and movements. He wasn’t shy about how he wanted things done and how he wanted Gav situated. Tris pulled his knees up and rested his ankles on Gavin’s shoulders and made him drive deep and pull out slow for a while, then speed up and pound him so hard the bed frame scratched the wall. 

Gavin really loved that the man took control like that and knew what he wanted… It made the actions all the better for Tristan, which made him incredibly loud and really into it. 

However, it made it very difficult for Gav to control his own inevitable release. 

He wanted it to last a long time. Hours. Then maybe go a few more rounds. He wanted to give Tris the best time he could manage. That’s how he’d imagined it, anyway. In reality, it was more like thirty minutes before Gavin was working to get Tris to slow down what he was doing, then giving up completely.

Gav’s thighs trembled as his muscles tightened and he started getting more sporadic with his movements. He made to pull out before he came, but Tristan held him tight and made him release inside. He’d wanted to cum _on_ the man, but this was good, too. Better even. He slowed down then stopped and lay still for a moment before pulling out and rolling to the side. Tristan sighed quietly as he dropped his legs and started seeing to himself again.

“Not done with you,” Gavin grinned as he ran his hand over the man’s thighs, hips, then cock. 

TC looked surprised for a second then relaxed back into the bed and closed his eyes as Gavin touched him. He thought back to the time Tris said sex he’d had with other men wasn’t very caring… Tristan must have never had sex with another guy that ended with them both getting off. Sad thought. Gavin aimed to correct that. 

It didn’t take too long before TC was clutching at the covers on the bed once again. He moved his hips lightly against Gavin’s fist around him, then his entire body tightened, trembled, and relaxed as he spilled against himself. 

Gavin touched him lightly for a moment then let his hands drift off over the man’s body, fingertips sliding over the slick mess on his abdomen. He let himself half fall into more of a lying position next to TC and continued to rub the spend over Tristan’s skin idly. He really wanted to snuggle up next to Tris, despite being hot and sweaty, but Gav just settled for being as close as possible without their bodies touching. Tristan seemed to like it that way as he made no motion to close the distance. 

He let out a contented sigh then a quiet snort, “yup…” He turned his head to Gav and squirmed a little and his snort turned into a chuckle, “my butt’s pretty hurt. Good job, killer.” 

Gavin smiled at him and nodded in acknowledgment. He was getting pretty tired, but he swore to himself that he’d only take a short nap then they could have another round. He could do better. 

After a few minutes, TC rolled off the bed and Gav opened one eye and watched him. He wondered if they were going to sleep together. Actual real sleep. He didn’t see why not… After all, they basically slept together on the Pryd and in the field. Tristan went to the bathroom and Gavin heard the shower turn on. 

After a moment, TC called from the bathroom, “you going to join me, or what?”

Gav laughed to himself then rolled lazily off the bed. He really wanted to sleep for a while, but a shower couldn’t hurt anything. 

As it would turn out, Tris wanted to wash off, get dressed, and go back out to the taphouse for a while… Then back to the Pryd. 

“We have the room for the night,” Gavin motioned to the bed as Tristan came out of the bathroom drying his hair. 

“We fucked… Date’s over…” TC looked somewhat confused. 

Gav blinked at him. “Sex doesn’t have to be the end of a date…” 

Tristan glanced around the room at the bed, then his clothes on the floor, and back to Gavin. “What’s after fucking?”

“Um… Sleeping?” He laughed.

“I’m not really tired,” he shrugged.

Gavin sat down on the bed and motioned to the door, “how about you go play for a while… Then come back when you are?” 

The two men stared at one another for a moment before TC shrugged and started getting dressed. Gavin really wanted to bring up the fact that Tristan wasn’t doing a very good job of not treating him like a prostitute, but he bit his tongue. He watched Tristan leave without another word and Gav crawled under the covers, staring at the door in hopes TC would change his mind and come back. 

He didn’t come back. 

Not until after the sun had come up. And the man was ridiculously drunk. 

Tris fell into the bed beside Gavin with all his clothes on and immediately fell asleep… But he did happen to roll over next to Gav, body pressed close, so he took the opportunity to lay an arm over the man and cuddle for an hour before they had to leave.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin had spent the next couple of days wondering if Tristan had felt like having sex was just part of the dating process. A thing he had to do. Even though Gav had told him, more than once, that he was under no obligation to fuck, he still had to wonder if Tris viewed it that way.

He seemed to have had a really good time. In fact, when Gavin asked him a couple times, he said he did. Until he stopped giving him a reply because he said Gav was being ‘weird and clingy’. He wasn’t being clingy, he was just constantly confused at what the fuck was running through the man’s head.

The only person he could talk to about this particular behavior was Aleski. Gav wasn’t sure if he should, but he felt like he needed some sort of help understanding Tris. Jessy was no help at all… She approached relationships and sex much the same way Tristan seemed to in that she didn’t do things that would produce a solid close bond. She laughed at the idea of cuddling and dates just as TC had done.

“Hey, Al…” Gav started then hesitated. 

“S’up?” She smiled up at him from her bunk and dogeared the book she was reading, setting it on her lap and scooting herself back to allow Gavin room to sit.

He carefully sat down, glanced around the barracks, then lowered his voice, “can I ask you a question about TC?”

“Sure,” she shrugged casually.

“I don’t want to upset you or anything but…” He worked to explain himself.

“It’s fine,” she assured with a smile, “I’m over him.”

He was pretty sure she wasn’t completely over him, but she claimed to be so he figured he’d just say his piece and if she got upset it was now on her.

“Is he always so… Emotionally detached?” He hesitated again then added, “... After sex…”

She snorted a laugh, “you guys fucked?” Aleski cocked her head in thought then shrugged, “he can be. It takes him a very long time to get close with someone to the point he’ll be more… I don’t know… Better with it. We’d been fucking for nearly a year before he would actually stick around and be close afterward.”

“Did that upset you?” 

“Naw,” she waved a hand at him, “I’m not really the super cuddly type so it worked out for us both.” She tilted her head as she regarded Gavin, “does it upset you?”

“I like cuddling…” He said quietly. 

“He likes it, too… It just takes him a bit to get there,” she assured then thought for a moment. “I’m not sure if I can guarantee it, though… Things could be different between the two of you because you’re both men.”

Gavin didn’t know what it was like to be in a full relationship with a man, he’d only been with Sebastian but it’d been a very different time and place where the relationship had several restrictions on it due to being in the Army at the time. Maybe it really would be different because they were both men. Perhaps only women would give him what he needed in a relationship… He couldn’t be sure, all he knew was that he wanted these things with Tristan right now and nobody else.

He was suddenly hit with a wave of emotions as he thought about Sebastian again. He wished Seb were with him now… They’d have the perfect relationship here in this new world. Gav was trying to turn a relationship with Tristan into what he had envisioned for himself and Sebastian, and he knew it wasn’t right to do it, but he couldn’t help it most of the time. 

“You okay?” Jordyn brought him out of his brooding.

“Yeah… Just thinking,” he shrugged and stood up. “Thanks… I suppose I’ll just give it more time and see how it goes.”

She nodded, “you’re going to have to if you want it to work. Think of TC like a wild dog… Skittish and untrusting. It’ll take time to build up his trust and get a relationship of any sort out of it, but once you do it’ll be pretty amazing and worth the trouble.” 

Jordyn glanced down at her bed in thought and smiled in such a way that confirmed to Gav she was definitely not over Tris yet.  
  


###  **\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**


	10. Inciting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tris…” Gavin hesitated, “he got in trouble. Because of me.”
> 
> TC shrugged as he leaned back against a stack of crates and pulled Gav close, “comes with the territory of being a Paladin. That’s one reason I decline promos,” he smirked, “I would hate to have to be responsible for someone like me.”  
>   
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


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### \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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Over the past couple weeks, Gavin had managed to get Tris to be a little more cuddly, but it seemed to be only in the barracks late in the evening. Rarely. Gav was pretty sure the man only did it to be possessive and show off, but he didn’t care - he had Tristan cuddling next to him and he didn’t give two shits how he got those cuddles, fabricated as they were.

“Grognak has some smooth lines… You could learn something here.” Tristan snorted and lifted his head off Gavin’s shoulder a little to smirk up at him. 

“Shut your mouth and turn the page.” Gav moved his hand off Crewe’s shoulder to push his head back down. 

He reached up to the comic in Gavin’s other hand they were both reading. “He just punched a giant gorilla in the face and she dropped her panties… I think he has said literally five lines to her.”

“Romantic,” Gav scoffed.

“I dunno, I’d drop my panties if someone punched a deathclaw in the face on my behalf.” 

Gav snorted a chuckle, “I like you a lot, Tris, but I’m not going to punch a deathclaw.”

“Pity. I’d like to see that.”

“You’d like to see me mauled to death?” 

He moved his head again to look at Gavin, “saying I’m not worth it?”

“Anyone who’d give it up after five grammatically incorrect lines of dialogue and a brainless deathwish isn’t worth it.” He smiled, “you’re worth a lot more.”

“Where was that smooth talk in the Taphouse bathroom?”

“Didn’t need it,” Gav shrugged, “I still got the sexy guy in my bed in the end.”

“Huh… So you did...” He spoke quietly then lay his head back down on Gavin’s shoulder and settled in tighter against his body. 

And then their moment was inevitably ruined.

“Crewe!” Knight Lemaire barked from across the deck.

Gavin tensed up, but TC didn’t move at all from his spot as the armored Knight stomped up to the bedside. 

“What have I told you about this?” The Knight motioned angrily to the two of them in the bed. “Get off that cot.”

Tristan remained right where he was. “No thanks, I’m pretty comfortable.” He lifted his head only slightly so he could give Lemaire a good smirk, “are you not comfortable?”

“It’s against regulation. Get out of that bed.” The Knight didn’t back down.

“Actually,” Crewe rolled over a little and raised a finger, “it’s not. Nowhere in the regs does it say we can’t be in each other's bunks. With or without other people on said bunk at the time.” 

Lemaire removed his helmet and stared at him angrily. 

Crewe stared right back. “Go ahead and challenge me if you think I’m wrong. Go fetch a copy of the R&R and I’ll wait right here.” 

He grinned at Gavin, “if you’re going to skirt rules and find loopholes, you have to know what every one of the rules are. I know regs forward and backward.” 

Lemaire opened his mouth and Tristan sat up and cut him off, “In fact, nowhere in there does it even mention handjobs, cocksucking, and fucking between soldiers of equal ranks. We could all have a massive orgy right here and it would break zero rules.” 

He had purposefully raised his voice and the rest of the room started to take notice. There were people staring and a couple soldiers had wandered in from off deck to see what was going on.

Gavin just stared at Tris in a slight stupor, strangely turned on in that moment.

Lemaire had to shake off the light blush that crept up on his cheeks at Crewe’s language. “It goes against protocol… Decorum...”

Tristan snorted, “decorum can suck my dick. I’m on time off and there’s no civilians around, I don’t have to pretend I’m some pretentious ass wagon.”

“Crewe!” The Knight’s cheeks reddened brighter than ever.

“Lemaire!” Tristan mocked. 

The Knight tried to defend his point and hold his conviction, “you cannot--”

Crewe suddenly jumped onto the footlocker at the foot of the bed and looked the armored Knight in the eyes, “I can’t _what?”_

The man, dressed in full power armor, actually took a step back from TC. Other soldiers moved closer to stop any fight that was about to break out. 

Gavin found himself even more turned on.

“I can’t be human?” Crewe spread his arms out, “I can’t show affection to someone I like?” He glanced around the room at the soldiers, _“--we--_ can’t?” Tristan pointed a finger at the Knight, “I am sick of your shit, Lemaire. You and the other stuck the fuck up assholes around here who are lonely and bitter and take it out on us because we won’t suck your cock. Stop telling us we can’t openly express how we feel and be human and normal. We’re all sick of being forced to hide moments of intimacy with those we love and who could be killed and taken from us at any given moment. I will be damned if the last fucking act of love I show someone who could be dead tomorrow will be five minutes of time spent hiding away in the locker room or under the catwalks or in a fucking shithouse.”

A few soldiers agreed… Loudly. They started clapping and whooping. 

Gavin wanted to cry at that entire sentiment. Where was Crewe back in the war when he needed him? Back in time… Before. 

Lemaire looked around at the people surrounding him, then glared back up at Crewe. He was too far into it to back down and now his pride had been injured. 

He took a breath and attempted to hold his ground, “you’re about to be written up for--”

“For what?” Tristan spread his arms wide, “for fucking my boyfriend? Go ahead. Write me up cuz I’m dying to read that report.”

He turned around, planted his feet on either side of Gavin, then dropped down to straddle his hips and kissed him deeply. 

The soldiers cheered… Then started kissing one another just to further mock Lemaire as he shoved his way through them and off the deck.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin and Crewe both stood side by side on the Command Deck at attention. They had been there for a good twenty minutes waiting to get lit up.

But the thing was, neither the Elder nor the Lancer Captain knew exactly how to deal with the situation and had to spend some time discussing the best course of action. 

Tristan stared straight ahead with a smirk plastered on his face and Gavin continued to grin like an idiot right alongside him. He wasn’t sure how much trouble they were about to be in, but it had been worth it. They hadn’t even been able to fully undress and fuck since Lemaire ran to Maxson immediately and the whole ordeal had been broken up before anything truly good happened between anyone. 

Maxson and Kells had both stormed into the barracks to find the two of them, and a few more soldiers, in various states of undress and… Action. Even though several people had been involved, The two who started it were the only ones now standing on the command deck.

When they heard footsteps behind them, their dumbass grins vanished. 

Kells stepped in front of them. “Inciting a riot…” He held up a folder of papers to emphasize his words, “is easy to deal with.” He narrowed his eyes a little at Crewe, “but you didn’t incite a riot, did you?”

“No, Sir, I did not,” Tristan replied confidently.

“What _did_ you do? Why the hell are you standing here right now, Knight?”

“I incited an orgy, Sir.” 

Kells shot Gavin a look and he swallowed hard, his jackass grin suddenly vanishing without a trace. 

“You two have far too much time on your hands, I think,” the Lancer Captain pointed the folder at them in turn, “too much pent up energy.” He flashed a grin and Gavin’s stomach knotted. “I want you kids to have fun tonight. Enjoy your time off, because tomorrow, at some unthinkable and ungodly hour, I’ll be giving you both a friendly wake-up call and you’ll start your new lives.” He patted Crewe on the chest, “you’ll need some knee pads and toothbrushes - and not for the reasons you’re both undoubtedly hoping.” He paused to let that sink in, then barked, “dismissed.”  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - -**

Gavin had walked back to Teagan’s cage alongside Crewe. “How did we not get thrown off the flight deck for that?” They were in trouble, but not as much as he thought they would be.

Tristan shrugged, “told you. I know the regs forward and backward.” 

Teagan handed him a ball chain and Crewe smiled his thanks as he turned away from stowage and immediately used his teeth to break the chain smaller as they walked.

Gavin watched him add the ball chain around his wrist with the others. “Been meaning to ask… What’s up with that?”

Tris laughed quietly, “these are how many regs have been written or revised because of me.”

“No wonder you know them all so well,” Gav snorted. 

“Yep!” He held his arm up and modeled the bracelets off. “Someday I’ll have an entire metal sleeve.”

“And the Brotherhood will have a lot of really strange regulations.” Gavin laughed, “you’re the reason weird warning labels are put on household products, aren’t you?”

“Especially the ones that say _‘for external use only’,”_ he grinned. 

“And now the Brotherhood has a regulation all about not fucking in the barracks,” Gav raised an eyebrow at him. 

Tristan made a face, “yeah… This one actually kind of sucks. Sorry about that.” He shrugged, “guess we’ll have to fuck everywhere else.” He paused in the middle of the catwalk and placed his hand on Gavin’s chest, “speaking of which… Did you guys have ‘Storage Room Duty’ in the War?”

Gavin furrowed his brow as a reply. 

“SRD is when people meet up to fuck in the back of the storage room or in storage closets,” Tris grinned. 

“I’ve done that… We didn’t have a name for it back in the War other than ‘highly illegal’ and ‘possible grounds for execution’ though.” 

“They’d kill you for that?” 

“Yeah, in some cases.” Gavin chewed his lip. “We weren’t really allowed to be with each other in any way back then and the things certain Officers would take you out back and shoot you for were pretty arbitrary sometimes. We were very expendable back then.”

“But you did it anyway?” 

“Well… Yeah. Some people did. I did.” He grew quiet, “me and Seb... It wasn’t like how it is now. We had to hide everything all the time.” Gavin looked down at the ground, “I couldn’t do things like this with him. If anyone found out we were together…” He let out a sigh and shrugged it off. “So… Yeah. Storage Room Duty… I am familiar.” 

Tristan looked at him for a long moment then nodded, “good. Find me there in four hours.” He leaned forward and kissed him deeply then pushed away and walked off as if they hadn’t just gotten in deep shit for the things they’d done.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - -**

Tris was insatiable some days. Gavin had managed to move their relationship from Tristan using him for quick BJs, to odd brief moments of the two of them doing things, and on to Tristan not being able to get enough and nearly fucking right in the middle of the barracks… Then wanting more.

There was still no deep personal conversation. There was some cuddling now, but it was usually short-lived and only under certain circumstances. Everything was still done solely on Tristan’s time. Gavin still wondered if things the man did were because he’d felt obligated - It felt that way more often than not. He also wondered if their relationship would ever even out and become equal or if this was how it would be - All based on sex done whenever Tris felt like it. 

TC seemed happy, though. Except for the times Gavin was found speaking a little too comfortably with women. Or men. Anyone, really. 

Gavin arrived in the storage room a little early, hoping to catch TC sooner, but the man wasn’t around. 

But Danse was. 

“Hey,” Gavin waved.

He nodded his head in acknowledgment. He was frowning. 

“What’s up?” Gav tried to relax the atmosphere. 

“You realize,” Danse started, “that as your sponsor, I get reprimanded right alongside you, right?”

“Um…” Gavin slumped his shoulders, “sorry…”

He crossed his arms and Gav slumped even further. 

“What can I do to make it right?” He tried to straighten himself back up, but felt thoroughly whipped. 

Danse raised an eyebrow, “take responsibility for your actions and do not repeat them.”

Gavin nodded, “no worries there… I don’t think we’re allowed to do that again. But it wasn’t against reg before--”

_“All_ your actions. Everything leading up to the thing that landed you in the shithouse.” 

Gavin blinked at the man. He must be pretty pissed off - he didn’t usually talk like that. 

“Can I do your punishment for you?” Gav asked carefully. 

Danse dropped his arms, “you don’t even know what it is.”

“I don’t care, I feel like I owe you that much.” He paused, “wait… It’s not firewatch is it?”

He shook his head, “no. I would prefer firewatch. And, no, you may not take over my responsibility. I failed and I will endure the punishment.”

There was a long silence then Gav asked quietly, “what is it?”

Danse shook his head again and remained silent. 

“You didn’t fail,” Gavin glanced down at his feet, “I did. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’m sure you will,” the man nodded, “you may have messed up, but you have yet to disappoint.”

Gavin remained silent, but gave a little half-smile up at the Paladin. 

“I understand,” Danse set a hand on his shoulder, “I was young once, too. I messed up a few times, just like you. I spent some years running around acting on impulse and getting dressed down.”

“Really?” Gavin snorted quietly, “I can’t imagine you getting in trouble.”

Danse smiled, “more than once.”

“What’d you get in trouble for?” Gavin moved a little closer so they could speak quietly.

Danse hesitated for a moment then shook his head and chuckled quietly at some memory, “I used to drink with my friends… And they were surprisingly a lot like your friends, so I’m sure you can imagine.”

Well, this was a fun new side of the Paladin. Gavin smiled up at the man, “I would love to hear more.”

“I’m sure you would,” Danse’s smile grew.

The sound of footsteps approaching made Danse drop his hand from Gavin’s shoulder, where it had been the entire time, and he stepped back. 

“Sir,” Crewe grinned as he approached. 

Danse frowned and gave a curt nod, “Knight.”

Tristan stepped up next to Gavin and took him by the wrist. He pressed close and grinned at the Paladin, “so, Kells is going to murder us tomorrow and he told us to enjoy our last night alive…”

“Good thinking,” Danse snorted, “I’ll leave you two to it, and the three of us can enjoy our last night of sleep. I do suggest you get sleep at some point, we won’t be for quite a while.” He turned on his heel and, before leaving, he waved a hand at them, “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Gavin stared after the Paladin. That’s what his punishment was… It was whatever their punishment was going to be. He’d have to be stuck with the two of them for… However long. 

“What were you talking about?” Tris asked as he pulled Gavin to the far back corner of storage.

He shrugged, “nothing, really. About getting in trouble.”

TC eyed him, “you get yelled at?”

“Not exactly. That probably would have been better.”

“Huh…” Was all he had to say about that. 

“Tris…” Gavin hesitated, “he got in trouble. Because of me.”

TC shrugged as he leaned back against a stack of crates and pulled Gav close, “comes with the territory of being a Paladin. That’s one reason I decline promos,” he smirked, “I would hate to have to be responsible for someone like me.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

“I’m good at what I do. I’ll make it up to him,” he shrugged again then frowned, “you wanna spend this time talking about Danse, or you wanna fuck?”

“I’m talking about _you_ right now.”

“And I hate it, so can we not?”

They looked at one another for a handful of tense seconds before Tristan worked to derail the whole thing with a kiss. 

Gavin sighed to himself, allowed the kiss, then hesitated again.

“You don’t want me?” TC narrowed his eyes a little. 

“I want you.” 

“Still thinking about Danse?” His eyes narrowed more. 

“No, Tristan, I’m thinking maybe we should actually get sleep tonight since we’ll be up early doing whatever the hell for the rest of our lives.”

He rolled his eyes, “it won’t be that bad, Kells just likes to scare people. We’ll probably just have to clean shit.” 

His hands started working at Gavin’s pants and his mood shifted, “we’ll make it quick.” He leaned in and spoke quietly against Gav’s ear, “I want you real bad right now… And I want to clear my head of this shit. So… Please…” He ended with a light nip on Gavin’s neck.

Gavin smiled a little and gave way to the attention. He really did want TC. Badly. And it did make sense that the man used sex to clear his head. Gavin was no stranger to avoidance as a main coping mechanism -- he did it all the time. 

But he didn’t want another quicky. Not really. Would have been nice to change it up a bit and have it not be so… Loveless. 

Though, he was not about to turn it down. 

The two of them kissed for a few minutes, hands working at pants and sliding under clothing along tight smooth skin, then Gavin turned the man around and pushed him down over one of the crates.  
  
  
  
  


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	11. How'd It End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _-“How’d it end?”_
> 
> _-“Same way some of Tristan’s other stories ended in certain legends... He gets stabbed in the back.”_   
>    
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - 

  
  
  
  
  


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Gavin had always looked forward to libby, but this time it was doubly so. They _did_ have to clean shit - for nearly two solid weeks. All day long.

And a wake-up call from Kells was anything but pleasant. The first time, the man had unceremoniously dumped Crewe out of his bed, mattress and all, onto the floor and that had woke Gavin fast enough to avoid having it done to him. The second time, Kells dumped cold water over TC. Gavin didn’t avoid that one. Then, when they had started working to wake themselves up before Kells could do it, the Lancer Captain arrived an hour earlier with a bright floodlight aimed in their faces. 

Since what they’d done hadn’t been technically against regulation, just more of an irritation to Maxson, their punishment wasn’t too terribly hellish. They were still allowed libby and that’s what mattered most.

Because they’d been made to clean all day, every day, with Danse babysitting the two of them, there were no moments to be alone. They couldn’t even touch during that time spent working together. The flames had been rekindled for Gavin and he wanted Tris more than ever and he couldn’t wait to get into a hotel room and get loud and dirty.

But first, they’d gone to the bar to get shitfaced and rowdy. That was good, too. 

Since getting together with Tris, Gavin was forced into crowds. He didn’t mind, he really liked people. TC was, indeed, well liked by most everyone, it seemed. People were just drawn to him. Gav knew he sure was for the very same reasons they all were. The man knew how to draw attention, hold the spotlight on himself, and make everyone around him laugh and have a good time.

Gav sat near the pool table where TC was laughing with some people, at least one of them Gavin could now recognize as being a prostitute. 

He watched them interacting and wondered if anything Tris ever did had been just for Gavin alone. It was unlikely. But he was happy with TC. Then again, Gavin was pretty sure that man could get anyone addicted to him just the same. 

He took a long drink from the glass in his hand to try and push those thoughts from his head. _He was happy._ He really was. He finally had what he wanted in life… He supposed. 

So why was he even sitting there thinking so hard about it?

Jess sat down in a chair beside him and grinned. 

“S’up?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged, “you’ve been here for three hours…”

“Yeah… And?”

Jess placed her elbow on the table then put her chin in her hand and looked him up and down, “you came in here attached to TC at the hip… Figured you two would be off somewhere doing butt-stuff by now.”

“For fuck’s sake…” He wrinkled his nose at her then they both laughed. 

“Seriously, though…” She lounged back in the chair, “what’s up?”

Gavin watched as Tristan moved to the bar with his little entourage to get more drinks.

“I don’t know.” He sighed, “he’s… Really weird sometimes.” When Jess gave him a questioning look, Gav took a drink to gather his thoughts then motioned to the bar with his glass, “case in point.” He had no idea how to explain his feelings to her in a way that made sense. They hardly made sense to him.

She looked Gavin over for a moment and chewed her lip. 

The silence made him talk more, “sometimes I think he’s sweet… Then I realize he’s just doing his thing and not really thinking about me like…” He lowered his voice, “like how I think about him.”

She nodded in understanding. “That’s how he does it. Maybe it’s just not the right thing for you if you’re looking for him to act different.”

Gav blinked at her. “That… Makes sense.”

“Does it?” She snorted as she reached over and took his drink. 

“Is this how he was with Jordyn?” He pointed to the bar.

Jess shrugged, “kinda… But she was different than you toward him… Also, I can’t really compare that shit… Him having a boyfriend is probably different than him having a girlfriend and I've never seen that to be able to say.”

That also made sense. 

He changed the subject slightly to avoid overthinking shit, “he really is something else, isn’t he?”

She grinned and gave a nod, “high speed, low drag.” 

Gav furrowed his brow at her.

“You didn’t hear that in your Army?”

He shook his head no. 

Jess shrugged, “someone who knows his shit and is good to go. Good leader. Good soldier. The right charisma…” She thought for a moment, “Promotable… Although, TC doesn’t want a promo. But everyone’s cool with it, they still treat him like a leader… Which makes him low drag and not high drag… Even though he causes some friction every so often.” She grinned, “it’s not so much the bad type of friction in any sense of the word.” 

Gavin looked to the bar and Tristan turned to come back to the table, smiling brightly at Gav as he carried drinks and the people followed behind.

She pointed at him, “someone like that is tough to keep up with… But you don’t wanna change it about them. That’s what makes them who they are, you know?”

Gavin nodded in understanding. Tristan being any other way just wouldn’t be Tristan… And that’s what Gav loved about the man.

Tris set a drink down in front of Gav and a bottle in front of Jess then a woman handed him his own drink that she’d been carrying for him. 

“Cheers!” TC grinned as he held his drink out for gavin to tap rims against.  
  


**\- - - - - - - - - - -**

Tristan continued to do what he was doing, leaving Gav to his own drunken devices, for the most part. He figured there would be some point when the two of them would go to a room together… But it didn’t seem to be any time soon. Other than smiles, some touching, and a couple light kisses every so often, Tris did his thing.

So Gav started to enjoy himself more instead of waiting for the man. He started talking to people. At one point, he found himself near the back by the bathroom with the girl he was pretty sure was a prostitute. She’d wandered away from Crewe and started talking to Gav as she left the bathroom… Then just stayed there and continued to talk. 

He was pretty buzzed by that point, so more things were funny to him. He laughed at the stuff she joked about, then he’d lean close and say something to make her laugh just as much. 

Always did love to make people feel good…

Gav was unsure how long they stood there in the back talking, but when he turned back to Tristan, he saw the man sitting with a girl on his lap. 

And he was staring blankly at Gavin. 

Did he piss him off?

He approached a little timidly and TC smiled up at him so Gav relaxed a little and smiled in return, His drunk mind trying to grasp at details. Failing. He didn’t seem angry. And he shouldn’t be. Gavin was allowed to talk to people just as TC did. Yeah, he wanted to fuck that girl, but he didn’t leave the bar with her or anything. 

He sat down next to Tris, still smiling despite the woman sitting in the man’s lap. He didn’t mind. He knew Tristan would be with him soon enough… And Gavin didn’t look nearly half as pretty as the woman. TC liked the attention, so Gav let him have it. 

Crewe pulled her close and said something in her ear that made her giggle, then he patted her thigh and motioned to nothing in particular, “so I’ll catch you later, then…” 

He stared at her as she sat there hesitantly then slowly slid off his lap, waved her fingers at him, then walked away… Smiling back at him until she was across the bar. And he sat there smiling right back at her with that same look on his face Gav had seen many times before. 

_‘Been fun. Ta ta.’_

Tristan picked up a beer from the table and took a drink.

“Hey…” Gav smiled at him and moved closer.

He nodded, “hey.”

“Wanna get out of here?” Gavin put a hand on the man’s thigh. He didn’t want to wait anymore. Soon he’d be past the point of being able to fuck and he knew TC had been drinking just about as much.

He shrugged, “sure.”

When Tristan didn’t move, Gav cocked his chin to the door, “let’s go…”

“Oh…” Crewe set his beer down on the table and pointed, “with _you?_ Nah.” He narrowed his eyes dangerously and Gav suddenly gained a slight amount of sobriety. 

Tristan pointed to the woman Gav had been talking to, “seems we’re gunna be fucking hookers tonight.” 

Gavin stared stupidly at him. “What?”

He glared.

“Tris… What the fuck? I’ve been here all night waiting for you to...“ He tried to figure out what could have pissed him off so much, “I was just talking to her.”

The man tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. “Wow.”

Gavin tried hard to think of what he did. There was absolutely no reason for Tristan to be so angry… He was just talking… They were laughing. She touched his arm… Maybe he was mad that they were so close and touching… He furrowed his brow. He had been really close to her... 

He suddenly took a breath and put a hand out, “Tris--“

“Are you just really drunk, or really stupid?” 

Gavin shook his head. It was something he’d done in the past, thought not much of it, then the alcohol had taken him the rest of the way… He had made no motion to stop that woman from kissing him -- right in front of Tristan -- then promptly disregarded it. 

It meant nothing to Gav… But it was a very big deal to TC. Gavin had, in that single moment, actualized all of Tristan’s fears and the base of his jealousy.

“Come outside with me…” Gavin stood up and motioned to the door. He was pretty sure they were about to fight and he wasn’t certain it’d remain verbal. 

He hesitated then drank the remainder of his beer, stood up, and followed Gav outside. 

As soon as they were a good ways from the Taphouse, Gavin turned to face him, putting his hands out defensively, “Tris, I’m sorry…”

“You’re the one who wanted this relationship shit,” he pointed angrily at Gav’s chest, nearly touching him, “you can’t fucking deal?” He spread his hands and took a step back, “then say so.”

“Yes, I wanted a relationship with you… But not like this.”

TC narrowed his eyes and looked him up and down, “what the shit does that mean?”

Gavin turned himself more sideways to the man and prepared to get punched in the face as he spoke, “this jealousy bullshit you do. It borders on insane.”

Tristan took a single step closer then stopped. “Jealousy bullshit? You kissed that hooker. _Kissed_ her. With complete disregard for me.” 

“You’ve been acting fucking crazy long before tonight.”

“You wanna see me act fucking crazy?” He took another step closer until they were mere inches apart. 

Gavin moved until he hit the walkway railing behind him. He tried to work anger and frustration out of his voice and calm down, “no… I don’t… And I don’t want to fight.”

Crewe clenched his fists a couple times then relaxed only a little. His voice lost some of its heat, “wouldn’t be a fight. It’d be your ate up ass on the ground in a puddle of blood.” He hit Gavin hard on the chest with his palm and backed off a step. 

He’d gained a good amount of sobriety by this point, and he was sure TC had, as well, which was probably the only thing keeping them from actually beating the shit out of one another. It took quite a bit of restraint on Gavin’s part to remain passive when Crewe tapped him to instigate.

They stood in a heavy fog of tension for several seconds with their eyes locked, grasping for dominance. Gav always won these tests of dominating will with the man and eventually TC huffed and looked away. 

“Tris…” Gavin dropped his hands, “I can’t do this.”

Crewe slowly relaxed his shoulders. 

His voice was considerably lower as he looked up, “me either.”

And then another thick silence washed over them both. 

The two of them had never been on the same page. Half the time they weren’t even in the same book. Gavin never knew what the man wanted or was thinking, and Tristan knew what Gav wanted but didn’t really care to give anything unless Gavin confronted him directly and forced it out of the man through dominance. That was no way to have a loving relationship -- it was unhealthy for both of them.

“So…?” Crewe glanced over at him.

“So…” 

After a moment, TC moved next to him and leaned against the railing. He crossed his arms loosely and sighed, “so… Maybe I deserved that…” Crewe motioned back to the bar with his head.

Gavin slowly shook his head no. Tristan didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. 

Interesting how everyone kept saying how TC would be the end of this relationship and it had actually been Gavin who fucked it up. 

_-“How’d it end?”_   
_-“Same way some of Tristan’s other stories ended in certain legends... He gets stabbed in the back.”_

“Maybe I took some shit for granted... Not just you.” He chewed his lip for a moment then looked up at the night sky. “It’s not easy… Being with someone like you… Or her.” His eyes rested on Gav’s face and he smiled faintly, “you know?”

At the look of slight confusion on Gavin’s face, TC shrugged, “I’m scared I guess… That you’ll suddenly realize you’re stuck with my emotionally damaged broken ass and leave. Harder with you… You’ll fuck anyone and they’d all be better than me.”

“That’s… Not true.” 

“What? Fucking anyone or better than me?” He snorted and toed at the cement with his boot.

“Both of those.”

TC shrugged, “one of those, at least.”

“Both.” Gavin repeated as he turned to the man and put a hand on his shoulder, “I like you. A lot. As a friend, or a lover, or anything. But a friend first… And that’s why I spent weeks freaking out about approaching you… Then several more weeks chasing after you as you tried to push me away.” He squeezed the man’s shoulder to emphasize his words, “and you were worth every minute.” 

“The parts where I was an absolute cunt?”

Gav shrugged, “some minutes were better than others.”

They looked at one another then both smiled. 

“I liked all those minutes.”

“The parts where you were an absolute cunt?” Gav raised an eyebrow.

He glanced up at the sky for a moment in mock thought then shrugged, “I got good head… So yeah.”

Gavin let out a pointed sigh. 

“I’m kidding. Fuck.” He adjusted himself against the railing, “I actually feel kinda shitty for that.”

“Good.” 

They were quiet for a while before Gav broke the silence, “feel shitty for the way you treated Jordyn?”

He nodded, “every day.”

“It’s not too broken, you know. That relationship.” He leaned forward a little to see Tristan’s face better.

He looked away, “nah… I fucked up pretty good with her.” 

“You didn’t or she wouldn’t even talk to you.” Gavin waited until the man glanced at him before continuing, “I think she’s hoping for you to come around and try again… But without all the asshattery.” 

TC chewed his lip and stared… Then gave a small nod. “I think I learned a few new tricks from you…”

“Such as?”

He shrugged, “that dating shit was kinda cool, I guess. She’d probably like that.”

Gav smiled, “yeah… She would. Take her to the theater some time. And when she does take you back, because she will… You don’t need to be so insecure. She wants you. If she chooses to be with you it’s because she wants to be with you… Not other people. Unless you drive her away and that shit’s all on you.”

Crewe snorted, “you know… For someone so fucking oblivious, you seem to know a lot of shit.”

Gavin shrugged, “I was married… To a woman.” He smiled, “I’ve also been around a while and tried to make shit work that just… Didn’t.” 

He smiled faintly, “like you and me.”

“Yeah…” Gav sighed quietly, “like you and me.”

TC looked Gavin’s face over for a moment then glanced down at the ground, “you upset?”

“A little… But you are who you are and I wouldn’t want you to be any other way. Are you upset?” 

Tristan shrugged, “I don’t know.” He gave a little smile, “had fun.”

Gavin nodded, “and learned a lot.”

“Yeah.” He looked around, then grinned, “one last fuck?”

Gav bit his lip and smiled. He almost grabbed the man to practically skip off to the Dugout, but then his smile faded and he shook his head, “No.”

“You sure?”

“I think that’s one of the things I’ve learned.”

“Damn,” Crewe shook his head and snorted, “we were good together.”

“Only while naked.”

“I’m gunna miss it...” He chewed his lip. “You sure you’re sure?”

Gav shrugged, “not really, but I’m not giving in this time.” He motioned to the Dugout, “I’m going to go get a room, alone, and see you back on the Pryd tomorrow.”

TC looked back to the bar, “guess I’ll go play…”

They looked at one another, both nodded, then headed off in different directions. 

Crewe turned around to walk backward and called after Gavin, “think of me.”

He snorted a laugh and didn’t turn to face the man as he spoke back over his shoulder, “I’ll never be able to forget you.”  
  


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	12. Good Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was somewhere he needed to be…  
>   
> 
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Gavin hopped up on Tristan’s work table to sit beside him in the warm glow of the setting sun. They sat in silence for a while as the man finished wrapping up some chunky brown powder in foil. He set it aside, wiped his hands on his pants, then turned to face the sunset.

“So, hey… Thanks for… Being you,” Crewe glanced sideways at Gav and smiled.

“You’re welcome?” 

“You helped me work through some things.”

“Mm… Right,” Gav smiled, “and what better way to work through them than sex.”

“Speaking my language,” Tristan chuckled. 

They were quiet for a moment then Gavin spoke quietly, “is this going to be weird from now on?”

Crewe shrugged, “only if you make it weird. I’m cool. I’ve been with a couple people out here and we have no problems.”

Gavin had no idea if he’d be cool or not after what they’d shared. He’d never been in this particular situation before so he wondered how it would work out simply being friends with TC now. _Could he?_

This had been his fear from the start - Messing up their friendship.

Tristan seemed to read the worry in his mind, “you’ll move on and it’ll be easy.” He smiled, “have a real relationship with someone who’s just as good for you as you are for them, you know?” 

He nodded and smiled in return. That was what Gav wanted, after all. Something meaningful. Love. 

“Speaking of which…” Crewe pointed at him, “Danse really could use someone like you in his life.”

Gavin blinked at him for a moment then smiled and glanced down with a small shrug.

“He wants you.” 

“How do you know?” Gavin furrowed his brow at the man.

Tristan laughed and cuffed him on the shoulder, “same fucking squad, remember?”

Gav stared and tried to think of some telltale signs Danse had given off. He couldn’t really.

“Are you fucking blind?”

“I guess I am,” he snorted.

“Wow.” TC looked away for a moment then shrugged, “maybe I’ve just known him a while and I’ve seen him in a relationship before. Long ago.”

“Really?” Gavin perked up a little, “what was it like?”

Tristan rolled his eyes, “right up your alley.” He thought about it for a moment then nodded to himself. “Too sweet for me, which says a lot since I eat my body weight in sugar every day,” he flashed a smirk.

“What happened?” Gav immediately regretted asking. There was a very good chance that what happened had been Danse’s lover was killed. He looked down for a moment and shook his head, “nevermind.”

“Uh-huh,” Crewe nodded. “Anyway, he’s not so much the approaching type. You’re going to have to go after him and work for it, but something tells me you’d really enjoy that particular game.” He stared at Gav with a little smile.

“Shit… You’re onto me,” he chuckled. 

“Since day one.” 

Gavin’s chuckle turned into a light laugh, “you ass.”

He shrugged, “told you I’m an asshole… But in this case, it’s just that I like to play a little hard to get.”

“Well then… Good game.”

_“Great_ game.” He grinned and they were silent for a moment once more as they looked at each other. 

Gavin leaned closer to him then hesitated and Tristan leaned in the rest of the way. 

The kiss, though it had been much like many before, felt different to Gavin. Already. It was as though the spark was gone and it felt sort of strange -- like giving a family member a platonic peck on the lips. It was odd. 

They pulled slowly apart and Gav looked into his eyes for a moment. They were still the same beautiful jade color, but it just felt different. He gave a faint smile and TC returned the look. It must have been just as weird for him, too. 

The two of them turned away and watched the sun dip below the horizon, turning everything a brilliant golden orange. The silence between them wasn’t at all awkward… It was comforting in a warm brotherly way. 

Yeah, he was going to be okay with this.

Aleski peered around the sand barrels then smiled and approached the two of them. “Hey boys.”

Crewe immediately hopped off the table and put his arms around her and she smiled up at him and pulled him into a deep kiss.

The two of them were meant to be together. Gavin watched them for a moment, smiling faintly. He was honestly happy for the both of them.

He wanted that in his life. He had tried to force it with Tristan because he was still grieving over the loss of Seb… But TC had helped him get past it and want something significant with someone new, even though Tristan wasn’t right for him. He was ready now to move on. He’d never forget Sebastian, of course, but he’d stop comparing his future relationships to the special thing he shared with Seb. 

“Well, that’s my cue to leave…” He hopped off the table and gave a little flippant wave to the two of them still making out like a couple of teenagers. 

Al chuckled lightly and turned her head to face him, “thanks, Cupid.” 

He shrugged, “I didn’t do anything.”

They both looked at him and she snorted a laugh, “if you say so. Thank you all the same.”

“Anytime.” He smiled and gave them a mock salute then turned away. 

There was somewhere he needed to be…  
  


****

### \- - - - - - - - - - - 

****

The door was open a crack, so Gavin knocked as he pushed it open further to peek inside.

“Danse?”

The Paladin suddenly jumped to his feet from the bed and hid something behind his back. 

“Knight…”

Gav smiled brightly and tilted his head in curiosity as he stepped inside. “Hey…” 

He eyed the man and then the room. He saw a bucket on the floor with playing cards scattered around it and chuckled.

“I was… Just…” Danse stammered as he glanced around at the cards on the floor. 

“It’s cool,” he shrugged as he moved closer and put a hand out.

He eyed Gavin’s hand for a moment then dropped his shoulders, let out a small sigh, and handed over the deck of playing cards. 

Gavin took half then handed the other portion of the stack back to him before sitting down comfortably on the edge of his bed. 

It took a moment before the Paladin relaxed and sat down next to him. 

Gav smiled and tossed a card at the bucket, then waited for Danse to do the same. 

He hesitated for a very long moment before feeling comfortable enough to toss one. 

He missed. By a long shot. 

“Like this…” Gavin pulled a card and showed him how to hold it. “Just put the corner loosely here between these two fingers… Then curl your arm and fling it out. Point at the target and let the energy and force pull it from your fingers…” He tossed the card at the target and it went in. “Like so.”

Danse blinked at him for a moment. “This is absurd.”

“Yeah… That why you were sitting here trying to figure it out?”

The man gave a small huff then tried to mimic what Gav had done. 

And he got it in. 

Danse perked up and smiled at the little triumph. Then cleared his throat and tried to put his Paladin mask back on. 

Gavin laughed, “loosen up! It’s okay to throw stuff around and make a mess sometimes.” 

“It’s frivolous…” He said as he tossed another card and it went it. He couldn’t quite hide his little victory smile. It was adorable.

“It’s fun,” Gavin tossed another, “and it feels good.” He looked over at Danse, “not everything has to be strict and boring. You’re allowed to have fun and relax every so often. Especially you. You’ve earned it twice over, don’t you think?”

Danse was quiet for a moment then gave a nod, “I suppose it can’t hurt.”

They took turns tossing a few more cards then Gavin turned to face him.

“Danse… We’re going on libby tomorrow…”

He nodded in reply.

_‘Just ask him.’_

“I would love it if you’d join me for supper and conversation.” 

Danse turned to him, stared for a moment in slight surprise, then smiled, “I think I would enjoy that.”  
  


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**Author's Note:**

>   
>    
> 
> 
> \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
> 
> Can't get enough of Crewe and/or Lucky? [Earthbound Misfit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7581232/chapters/17249443) is Lucky's backstory and has a lot of cute young Jessy and teenage Crewe for your reading enjoyment! Still a WIP, but a ton of fun and their friendship is amazing. <3
> 
> Also - if you aren't afraid of long rollercoaster ride type stories full of deep philosophy, existentialism, plot twists, and a metric asston of angst, [The Bird and the Stag](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390669/chapters/16787806) is one that features Crewe (and Lucky & company) and gets more heavily into them and their current story. it's a rough ride, and you'll have to hang in there to see Crewe get featured more about the halfway mark - but it's worth it. The blond boy is a major player in the overall course of events and he'll have you crying, laughing, and rooting for him! ***if you bravely venture into this longfic - mind the tags.**


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